Having issues getting over this guy I only dated for 2 months

[nhardin289]

I met this guy online back in sept. We dated for 2 months, I broke up with him because he was still viewing other girl's profiles, as he had viewed a co-worker's. After breaking up with him, I offered to try again and see if we couldn't work it out. That went well for about a week. Then he got cold on me. He told me he wasn't ready for a commitment. When I asked him was it because he lost interest? He lied to me on 3 different occasions telling me it wasn't because he lost interest in me, BUT a friend of mine propositioned him to do a friends with benefits thing and he accepted, told her he DID lose interest. I'm a sweetheart but lost interest, but the same freakin day he told her that, he texts me while I"m on a date, trying to move on. Told me 6 times in 2 days he missed me. Called me sweetheart and babe. Sends me pretty pictures of snowy scenes since he is out of town and he knows I love snow. (we all live in a southern state but both of us came from up north) Being thoughtful and sweet.

He was supposed to come back yesterday, never got a text or anything. I'm not texting him. But seriously WHAT THE HELLO KITTY?!

I'm just having issues with trying to get over him if he keeps "baiting" me with sweet nothings. I really care about this guy. I KNOW we would be a kick butt couple if he'd give us another shot. But if he finds me boring then obviously he wouldn't. BUT why did he do those things texting that he misses me and calling me babe and crazy stuff like that? GUYS?

Updates

+1 y

did I mention when we broke up I really went a little crazy on him and told him I was out of his league and he was worth nothing and no girl would want him? We didn't talk for like a week straight and I apologized afterward. Then this started.

Updates

+1 y

I really miss him too. :-( It just baffles me why I still have this urge to want to be with him when he has been so wishy washy. I don't like drama, but he fabricates it in my own mind giving me these mixed signals. I'm about to drive myself crazy over this!

[Anonymous]

do you want a complicated relationship? because you have only been with this guy a short time and already things are very complicated. my advice is to cut all contact with him. I've been in the same place of really caring for someone but knowing it would not be a wise choice to continue a relationship with them due to many important factors despite our chemistry/attraction for each other. the thing that makes it hard to let go of someone you care about is the emotional attachment you have to them. attachments can be made in a short amount of time. let him go, you two don't sound at all as though you have a good future together judging from what you've written. you WILL get over him. it takes time but it's also what you do with that time. it's not so much about changing how you feel about this person because you can't but more so acting as though you no longer have feelings for them. zero contact will greatly help you in getting over him and that means blocking him on Facebook. I find it helped to send one last text for closure in which I explained how I felt (don't say anything mean) and wished him well. all the best darl :)

[goodguysfinishlast]

He did all those things because he is nuts...

It is so disrespectful to date someone and finding out they are not your type by searching for others. And to have a friend proposition him for the FWB and he accepted, screams get out of there fast. He will be nothing but a heartbreak.

Now, why is he texting you on dates and all the misses you crap.. Well its CRAP...If he meant it he would be sincere and talk to you about going ahead. He wants to keep you on the back burner and have you as a FWB.

Just move on. And if he texts you again, tell him you met someone else and please do not contact you again.

Good luck..

[nhardin289]

thank you!

[nhardin289]

well, its not that I don't think we are each others' type. I think 1) his age and inexperience has something to do with it. and 2) I did sort of flip out on him after I found out about him viewing other girls on that dating site. I told him I was out of his league and made fun of his profession. :-( it was really bad.

[goodguysfinishlast]

Lol. After that yes call it a day. It ain't gonna work.

Your a strong woman. He is below your league.

[martyfellow]

He's just stringng yu along; guys do that, you know

He is on a dating site because he has issues with relationships, such as compusively viewing women's profiles, and chasing his gf's friends, along with a few other things you haven't found out about yet, becuse you've only kow him a couple of months.

Really warm hearted guys aren't commonly found on dating profiles; more often they are liars and cheats who cover it up with 'babe.'

Never trust any guy who calls you 'babe' unless he thinks you are Babe Ruth, or he's under 16.

[nhardin289]

thank you

[martyfellow]

Best Answer, no?

[nhardin289]

There are some details I left out as I didn't want my question to long. But he came out of a long term relationship of 5 years about 2 years ago and just now started dating. He waited over a year to get back into the groove of things.. BUT I will say because he is 3 years younger than me, he isn't on my wavelength as I"m approaching my 30's soon and he is just now getting out of his mid 20's. 3 years doesn't seem like a lot but at the same time it is.

[martyfellow]

At those ages 3 years isn't a lot, but it might explain why he seems really immature, and acts somewhat like a teenager in the relationship; that, plus he doesn't have a lot of other positive experience, with a 5 year experience that turned out badly...

[nhardin289]

He did say she wasn't a terrible person. I thought he was mature as he claims to have wanted a serious relationship and that's all he has ever had. But online dating is perfect for him. He has no family, not really any friends here either. I never met anyone he knew. except his son. I still really care about him though. I just want him to see we could work out if he gave it another shot. but not sure if I could trust him either.

[martyfellow]

Absolutely you can't trust him he doesn't seem to know how to communicate as an adult, does he? Like a teenager, he lies thoughtlessly!

[martyfellow]

Absolutely you can't trust him. He doesn't seem to knw how to communicate with an adult; he lies like a thoughtless teenager.

I'm sorry to say, I don't think he can change his behavior.

[nhardin289]

I know. and common sense tells me he just isn't any good for me. But when we were together he was so very thoughtful. I am doing my best to try and just move on, but I feel like he has a 6th sense for this crap and baits me back in. Like recently. I did NOT talk to him yesterday. I hope this weekend not to either. I've got my weekend full of activities to keep my mind off of him. That is the best I can do.

[nhardin289]

see, and the sad thing I know nothing of his past relationships. He moved to where I live on a whim with a friend from out of state and he claims to have any friends around here. When his parents came along, I never met them. he never allowed me to meet them. but we had only been dating for a month, so I just went along with it.

[martyfellow]

Maybe too burned from the divorce to get close to anyone--that happens as well.

Best answer, no?

[Racez]

I think he's just trying to hold you around. And he holds you as a "safety net" just in case all of the girls he dating/sleeping with finally get rid of him.

A genuine guy will care and understand your feelings as to not hurt you.

[nhardin289]

thank you

[nhardin289]

Why do that though when its been established that he didn't want to commit? Isn't it sort of selfish to keep me on the back burner? when he knows I"m in search of a stable long term relationship?