I was with ONE black guy, now ALL white guys avoid me. Help me?

im 25 and have been with 4 men ever... the last one was black, it was a one time thing with him and now I feel ruined. I go to a smaller college and I was casually dating a white guy (no sex) and the convo of "how many people" came up.. his second question was "any black guys?". I wanted to be honest because I liked him but I could tell it upset him. And of course he didn't want to see me again. Word got around and a guy I was messaging as friends asked me and that ended. A man I was talking to on a dating site asked me and he abruptly stopped talking to me.

Should I lie about it? It was a stupid thing to do I can see it in the eyes of these guys that I'm not girlfriend material because of it. I hate lying and I would feel so guilty if I lied. Believe me I have considered it. I feel like its ruined my dating life. I can't even talk to my friends about it.

Any girls been in a similar situation? What can I do? I don't understand why some white guys don't want to date a white woman who has been with a black man like they are men just the same as you y,know so what the hell is the big deal boys will be boys I don't understand :/?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The question I'd like you to ask yourself is, "Do I really want to date those racist white d***s?" That would be appropriate.

    • i know right I kow not all white men think like that I just think its ridiuclus that some do

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 10

  • A friend and I were talking about this earlier in a conversation about passive genocide.

    The Scarlett Letter technique.

    It's actually a known form of passive genocide.

    If women fear that they will be shunned by their demographic group if they mate with a certain other demographic group, the stigma will make them far less likely to do so.

    Thus, the genes of the target demographic group fall out of the gene pool eventually and no one has to die.

    It's used in many different cultures.

    • Do you mean to say the "certain other demographic group" is being targeted by this form of passive genocice? In other words, the group who shuns preserves themselves while the certain other group gets a slow and steady stream of the other demographic over a long period that eventually results in the breeding out of their genes?

    • Basically, if certain members of group A don't want other members of group A to mate or intermarry with any members of group B,

      Then they can convince everyone in group A that it is shameful to fraternize with members of group B in such a way.

      This way, group B's numbers can only grow internally. They can't use members of group A as a resource. This keeps their people and resources isolated.

  • Interesting situation. You really shouldn't have to lie about that. Date who you want, and let the haters hate. Sounds like you live in a really spiteful area, but in any case, I don't think you want to date a guy who is that moronic anyways...so tell the truth, and let the dudes with that attitude reveal themselves to you. Even if you never dated a black guy, would you feel comfortable dating someone who wouldn't want you getting too close with non-white people?

  • White girls are brainwashed from infancy by the liberal media. It gives positive representations of black guys and runs down white men. In spite of any politically correct BS you hear from any white guys, very few white men will date you now if they know. Black guys are garbage: they have low IQs, have average to exceptionally ugly looks, dress like clowns, act like buffoons, have prison records, are druggies, have AIDS, and use and then dump women. They prey on white women with all the brainwashing and little life experience. To them, you're just one thing: pussy.

    Why would any white man want to be connected with a white woman who has been involved with those turds? You probably have to lie about it to get anywhere now with white men, but your past has a way of catching up with you. Good luck. If you don't want to get beaten, or infected with an STD, or left as a single welfare mother raising black kids, think before you do this again. Don't ruin the whole rest of your life.

  • Because you're damaged goods. I make an effort to ask every girl I meet if she's been with a black guy, thus far I've only had to turn down one girl.

    If a girl is into black men then that means she has low standards of men. What does it say about you if you're with her? Simply put: White men want women with good standards.

    My advice to you would be to lie about it and keep it a secret. Otherwise you're going to experience rejection often if you make it openly known.

    As the old saying goes: Once you go black, you're not wanted back.

    • also: white men can afford to be choosey like this since there are significantly more women to choose from who don't get involved with blacks. so yeah, keep it a secret and don't get into a relationship with another, because if you have a kid by one you're doomed for life and are pretty much stuck with black men

      They should really teach this in school to girls so they know what they're getting themselves into. Because young girls are naive and don't have much life experience.

    • Ouch.. Truth

  • Don't know any guys like that. Try moving to a metro area. If you live out in the sticks there is less diversity.

  • I think more than half of white women have been with at least one black man. There is nothing wrong with that. Do you really want to date a racist? Maybe you should stick to black men until you either stay with one, or find a decent white guy.

  • The guys you're talking to are foolish.

    But onto more important things...

    I heard you like black guys...jk lol

  • lmao these guys give white guys a bad name...they must also have little weiners and 0 self confidence...

  • Why not stick to black guys? What's the problem?

    • i will date any guy I'm attracted I don't judge poeple abuot there race race does not matter to me

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    • What was the purpose of asking this question again?

      It's not as if they are completely baseless. I don't understand why you are fighting against what I said anyway.

    • how am I fighting against what you said ijm just saying not all white guys are like that I know that know because I've talked to friends about it and the purpose was I didn't know 3 days ago when I wrote the dam question but I've been talking to friends since then and I've come to a realization

  • Seems like ANY black man is too good for your dumb ass. :)

    • So was the KKK down voting me?

    • Show All
    • as far as you know.

    • Maybe illiterate people?

What Girls Said 3

  • most of the non black girls I know of who dated a black guy haven't dated within their race since. From what I hear, most guys don't want to go behind a black guy :/ you can either continue to be honest and keep getting rejected, and hold out for the rare white guys who won't have an issue with it, or lie and make it easier on yourself. I wouldn't want something I did years ago to come back to haunt me in the future. Of course I don't think its wrong to date black for obvious reasons, but you know the society and culture that you live in so you're just going to have to try and fit in

    • i know but I don't want to change the way I date just to make other people feel comfortable

    • why do those guys care who I date? why does race matter?

  • White guys often feel that white women who "date down" do so because of self-esteem issues and lack of confidence since black men will usually date anything, particularly fat, unattractive white women.

    This attitude is relatively common among white guys as white guys aren't usually fond of black people in general.

    You could lie, but I wouldn't recommend it cause I feel like something this small would turn into something big if you lied about it and then he found out. So I guess you just have to weed your way through and hopefully find a guy who doesn't mind.

    There's a few guys who've expressed this attitude on this site but they probably won't come forward or will pretend to not care as it's not a pc opinion to have.


    I'm not white but my boyfriend is. He asked me how many guys I'd been with and I told him one guy(truth) and he asked if he was white or black...so I guess he'd have been turned off had I said black but I'm part black anyways...so...yeah

    • Wow I never saw that sh*t before

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    • Definitely. I wouldn't lie and it shouldn't be something you feel as though you need to lie about

    • yeah thanx

  • WTF kind of racists are you talking to? I didn't even think that would be a common question when asking about past partners. I can understand asking numbers, and even how many were one night stands vs. in relationships. But the race of those guys? Really?

    If I was you and a guy asked me that I would just respond with a "What the hell does that matter?!" They can interpret that answer however they like

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