After the 3rd date, why did he go back to online dating site? Please help.

I met this guy 2 weeks ago. All three dates went very well. He was very romantic, attentive and told me he likes me. A true gentleman and didn't kiss till third date. Lots of kissing and making out on third date. He then went on a business trip last Friday (told me 4 days) and that he will email me while away. After he "came back" Tuesday I saw that he went back on to the online dating site. I think he also saw me online, then emailed me a nice, sweet, teasing email but didn't say when he will be back or when we will meet again. But did say hope to see me really soon.

I am the first girl he took out from online dating, so I am wondering if he wants to see what else is out there since he is old fashion and if anything the next date would mean we would take it to the next step (be it exclusivity or sex) and if he that felt it went too smoothly and/or too quickly.

I did email him back with a simple and cute email, but not demanding.

Any suggestions would be great. Thank you.

  • He is no longer interested, move on.
    Vote A
  • He is checking out other options. Let him alone, he will come back.
    Vote B
  • He is checking out other options. He is gone.
    Vote C
  • A and C
    Vote D
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Hello everyone. He emailed me back and asked me to go out this Sunday or next week...i supposed its a good sign?

Thank you all for your help.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he's interested, especially since he sent you a message after he has been seeing you. He's probably just busy. I think he wants to take things slow and get you know you in the proper way before he makes you his girl.

    I would play it cool, definitely don't get demanding or try to rush him into a relationship. I think if you play your cards right, this guy is going to be yours.

    So, while he is busy, keep yourself busy. When he wants to see you again, he will contact you. Put up some new pictures. Maybe of you doing something you like to do. That will peak his attention.

    He's going to see how interesting you are, and how if he isn't careful, another guy will be able to snatch you up. Don't be afraid to meet other guys during this time either.

    You aren't his girlfriend yet, take full advantage of that. This will help make you feel confident. Even if he ends up not contacting you, you aren't wasting your time. You don't owe this guy anything. He is not your boyfriend yet.

    • I disagree. If as men we are really interested we don;t want to run the risk of losing her so we woul dmake plans for a 4th date to lock her in, even if the date is a few days or a week away.

      Of course, unless we are talking about a serious player here who has really tight "game" - then he'll leave the girl frying a bit to get her to chase him more. Then again, is it a player a girl wants?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah sorry to tell you if you went on 3 dates then after that he's being wishy-washy and letting time pass by, he's unclear about the business trip/whether he's back, and no set plan for a a 4th date = he's not that into you. For sure he is playing the market to see what's out there.

    BTW, you sound a bit "needy" and "clingy" - if in this day and age you expect a man to go exclusive with you after 4 dates, then you are not sending off good vibes. You haven't even had sex with him and you're already considering exclusivity... There is a risk that you scare off a lot of potentially nice men as you probably sub-communicate neediness.

    My 2 cents.

    Good luck, all the best.

  • Under normal circumstances, I would say that his continued visiting of the site after only two weeks isn't a bad sign by itself. However, the fact that he hasn't asked you out again is what you should be concerned about. Give it another few days... I would say if you haven't heard from him by next Monday, it's probably time to move on.


What Girls Said 1

  • maybe he went online to check if you're online.

    don't be too worried yet, start worrying when he doesn't ask you out.

    maybe he can still search for other options, go on dates with other girls, but if you are meant to be, you will hear from him, and you guys will discuss exclusivity.

    just keep what you doing now. stay connect with him, don't put much pressure on him, he will ask you out soon!

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