Do guys/girls still use the "push-pull" dating strategy?

I haven't been on the dating scene for a while, however there is this one guy I am kind of interested in. He shows interest when we are on a date but a few days after I hardly hear from him until we agree on plans for a future date. This is making me curious to know what is going on in his head and strangely it's making me want see him even more.

I told my friend about this. She said her boyfriend (which is now her husband) used the push-pull strategy where he would show her tons of interest then go missing then come back and make her feel special and pull away again. This was the first time I was hearing of such a thing. I didn't know guys played such "games".

I am not sure if this guy is doing that strategy or just showing his disinterest. I would feel stupid if he was just showing disinterest and I mistook it for him trying to get me more interested. Am I making sense? lol

How do I know if he is infact interested without seeming needy/desperate? I am the kind of person who doesn't like to play games. If you're into me, then great. If you're not then lets move on already!


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What Guys Said 1

  • I've heard of this before and regard it as childish. A fat ugly old guy told me it was to "create hunger" and honestly... no one would ever "be hungry" for him if he tried his heart out(he's so disgusting). Honestly, if you want to talk to him, just do it. He could be afraid of seeming clingy just like you.


What Girls Said 1

  • I don't play games, either.

    Yes, people do still use that and there are rare instances where it works. Most of the time, though, it just creates a lot of confusion like what you are going through.

    How I handled it not too long ago was to call him (he actually answered, which seems like a good sign, lol) and say, "I am a straight-forward person and I would appreciate a straight-forward answer. Are you really THAT busy lately or is this one of those, 'Hey Silvaria, it's been fun but I'm just not into it anymore?' sort of things?

    Not sure if that's your style but sometimes being direct is the best policy.