Do women try to date “out of their league” guys more than vice versa?

My own standards are to date someone who is on par with me more or less. I’m not perfect. Not a saint. I’ve been told I’m attractive but I know I’m no young Brad Pitt. However I am independent, got a good job, in good health, have a very interesting past and some fun hobbies.

There was only one time in my life I found a woman who was truly on par with me. It tragically didn’t work out because she met me at a bad time in my life. There was also one time I swung for the fences in college and went after a girl who was “out of my league.” She actually approached me first but I had zero game back then and screwed it all up.

But anyway virtually all the women I’ve met who were really into me in last few years weren’t exactly on par. However most of them were confident I would like them. I tried dating a girl who I saw potential in but she had very serious emotional issues (family abuse) that I wasn’t equipped to handle.

Anyway confidence is great. But why is it that women seem to daydream unrealistically about they are entitled to in dating vs. men?

Select gender and age to cast your vote:

Anonymous

(30-35)

"why is it that women seem to daydream unrealistically about they are entitled to in dating vs. men"

Because their "unrealistic daydreams" are giving them what they are truly attracted to. An attractive, tall, successful, guy with a great personality (give or take some things) isn't plentiful in the dating world. Women have a high sexual attraction to that man. The reality of men lacks our attraction. Eventually, we're going to have to take what we can get just like anybody else but are most of us going to be satisfied?, no. So we daydream because we wish the dream matched reality.

If you were a young brad pitt, you'd have to beat women off of you with a stick. The world of women swoons over brad pitt because he's a rarity in looks amongst men. Even, in his old age, he's still hotter than most men. If there were young brad pitts women would not swoon over Brad because then they could just go get them one.

Asker

+1 y
So what you are saying is that women have higher expectations for who they wan to to date then they have for themselves?

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Asker

+1 y
And why is that “groupy” applies to females and not males? Do they really believe they have a shot at landing a celebrity?

The only “groupy” type male for female celebrities are very much rare and dangerous: their stalkers. So their crazy to begin with. A normal man wouldn’t obsess about something that is impossible obtain. But women do this much more than men. Why?

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Opinion Owner

+1 y
No but if they had high expectations for themselves and then went dating, most men are NOT going to match those expectations.

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Opinion Owner

+1 y
There are male groupies.

A woman cannot physically overpower a man. Most female groupies just want to sleep with their fave celeb crush and then live on to brag about it. The male groupies usually have a more dark demonic way of going about it. They will try to get their female celeb crush to be with them to control her. There are females who have done this to male celebs too but the males doing it to the females far outweighs the women doing it to the males. Once you can't let your celeb move on from a one time meeting or one night stand, you're taking it past being a groupie.

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Asker

+1 y
“ There are females who have done this to male celebs too but the males doing it to the females far outweighs the women doing it to the males.”

There is no such thing as a “male groupy” because any healthy minded average guy knows he has a better chance of winning the powerball than hooking up with a female celebrity. Sane men are realistic and we don’t waste our time daydreaming. However there is a tiny but very insane (and potentially very dangerous) male stalkers out there.

But for every insane male celeb stalker there are at least 10000 female groupies out there wasting their time day dreaming.

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Opinion Owner

+1 y
"There is no such thing as a “male groupy” because any healthy minded average guy knows he has a better chance of winning the Powerball than hooking up with a female celebrity."

Average? lol... Well... yeah... you're average.

If you had your choice of picking ONE woman off of physical appearance alone for a one night stand... who are you picking? The hot one or the average one?

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Asker

+1 y
Do you take my opinion personally? Like does it offend you or something?

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Opinion Owner

+1 y
No so please answer my question. If you had your choice of picking ONE woman off of physical appearance alone for a one night stand... who are you picking? The hot one or the average one?

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Asker

+1 y
No answer my question first. Why did you have to throw out the insulting slight “Average? lol... Well... yeah... you're average.” huh?

I didn’t insult your personally. I did disagree with you on male vs female behavior but I didn’t throw out any direct slights. So again, why did you have to say that?

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Opinion Owner

+1 y
Seems like you take things hard. There's no slighting. Here's your statement:

"There is no such thing as a “male groupy” because any healthy minded average guy knows he has a better chance of winning the Powerball than hooking up with a female celebrity."

You wrote: Healthy Minded Average Guy

You didn't say hot guy. You said average. If you're using the average guy as the guy trying to get with the female celeb then yeah he does have a better chance at winning the Powerball than hooking up with a female celeb. That's what I meant when I said well yeah you're average in this scenario.

Now your turn for my question.

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Asker

+1 y
I just noticed that when I get in debates with women that more often than not they take me disagreeing with them as “hating them” and they often resort to slights. I guess I jumped the gun with you but I am calling people on that. It’s called taking “cheap shots” which is a shitty below the belt method to try to discredit someone’s opinion when you have no logical response to it.

Anyway. Remind your question again? Well if I had an opportunity to go with a hot vs average woman without knowing anything else I would take the one and you would too (e. g. hot guy).

I guess you can make the argument that male celebrities are more promiscuous and a female groupy has a much higher chance of getting his famous D if she’s in the right place and the right time. However a female celebrity will have her guard up and even she isn’t paranoid she will very unlikely hook up with a random guy (unless she was Paris Hilton back in the 2000s)

I had a chance to hook up with a female celebrity years ago by the way. We we’re both competing in a athletic performance. She won hers and I had my first loss. She talked to me flirtly afterwards but i wasn’t exactly in good spirits considering what happened. But even in that scenario I was not an “average” guy. I was competing on showtime but I didn’t have a big name unlike this girl. But still she would of not of talked to me if I was some average joe off the street. Which leads me back to my point: women attempt and sometime can be hypergamous but if your a man doing this than you are completely delusional. There aren’t male “groupies” for a reason.

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Opinion Owner

+1 y
Anyway. Remind your question again? Well if I had an opportunity to go with a hot vs average woman without knowing anything else I would take the one and you would too (e. g. hot guy).

Exactly.

I guess you can make the argument that male celebrities are more promiscuous and a female groupy has a much higher chance of getting his famous D if she’s in the right place and the right time. However a female celebrity will have her guard up and even she isn’t paranoid she will very unlikely hook up with a random guy (unless she was Paris Hilton back in the 2000s)

Most guys in general have a higher sex drive than most women. The women's chances are much higher. A male can sleep with ugly to very beautiful women and the world will not "whore" him. Women, on the other hand, get judged for their choices of mates by women and by men.

I had a chance to hook up with a female celebrity years ago by the way. We we’re both competing in a athletic performance. She won hers and I had my first loss. She talked to me flirtly afterwards but i wasn’t exactly in good spirits considering what happened. But even in that scenario I was not an “average” guy. I was competing on showtime but I didn’t have a big name unlike this girl. But still she would of not of talked to me if I was some average joe off the street. Which leads me back to my point: women attempt and sometime can be hypergamous but if your a man doing this than you are completely delusional. There aren’t male “groupies” for a reason.

Fair enough. Interesting story. How did you end up in an athletic competition on showtime?

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Asker

+1 y
I want to be careful I don’t get identified on here. I value my anonymity.

I did read an interesting article (from a non partisan source) about hypergamy. Despite women earning much more, being more educated and independent studies have shown they still expect to “date up”.

Personally I don’t feel entitled to someone out of my league. I took a huge gamble with this in college. Got my foot in the door, kissed her once but I screwed up and got tortured in the friéndzone for 1.5 years (I didn’t understand that concept back then).

As for the now famous woman (who was an actress for Disney) she was being flirty with me at the worst possible time. I was stressed to the max performing on national television on short notice. She was more experienced.

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Asker

+1 y
*more experienced at the sport and being in the spotlight

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Opinion Owner

+1 y
I started to write an explanation of why women "date up". I could really break this down as to why we do it but really I don't think this is a matter of understanding why. I think this is a matter of disliking that women do it. The truth is what women shoot for in men is where their sexual attraction to men lies.

This could go on and on. So, I am going to end it here. Thank you for MHO.

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Asker

+1 y
It’s just about having women having higher standards in the men they date than they have for themselves but at the same time saying “they are oppressed for being female”. Really f*cking sick of it.

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