Is there such a thing as platonic cuddling?

Question

I was watching a movie with a pretty close male friend last night. It was Titanic, which is obviously considered a really romantic movie, but it was just what we happened to pick. He and I were watching it together on his couch in his dorm, and towards the end of the movie, where it gets sad, he was like, "oh, no" and put his arm around me, and kind of cuddled with me through the rest of the film. I kept my knee up as sort of a barrier, and kind of sat with my mouth covered the whole time, just to omit the possibility of him making a move or anything of that sort. After the movie, we were walking around, and he was asking me what girls like, in terms of hooking up. Among my answers was 'spontaneity.' When I explained that, he said, "like this?" and leaned down as if he were going to kiss me. I wasn't sure if he was doing it jokingly or not, so I kind of pushed him away and was like, "yeah, just like that bud."

I think it seems like he likes me, though he usually isn't like this around me. I only have platonic feelings for him...should I say something to make sure he knows that I see him only as a friend, or am I over reacting and he was joking around? I don't want to lead him on. Thanks, guys!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Yes, there is such a thing a platonic cuddling. There is also such a thing as platonic sex and even hate sex. Hate sex being having sex with a person that you hate, and it is mutual. They hate you but will have sex with you just as you hate them but will have sex with them. If it's not mutual then clearly it's rape and not hate sex. Hate sex is mutual. So, if there is such a thing as having sex with someone you hate and platonic sex... having sex with someone that you see as just a friend, then clearly there can be platonic cuddling. However, I don't think this was platonic cuddling. Platonic cuddling would mean that both parties involved view the other party as just a friend. He clearly sees you as more than just a friend.

I have one platonic friend that I see as just a friend. I could never date her as I have no feelings for her other than that of a friend. I know she feels the same way, but because her and I are really close friends, we have no problem with having sex with one another when one of us is in need of a good fucking. It's not something that just anyone can have. It's a special kind of friendship to be able to trust someone that is just a friend and nothing more and nothing less. Platonic cuddling is slightly more common because it's not going to the extremes of sex, but it does exist. But this guy. . . doesn't sound like he's platonic with you at all. You're clearly platonic with him, but it looks like this guy has a thing for you. The way my platonic friend and I even started was by communicating and then one day we just said to each other. Sure, let's try it... why the hell not. We're both close friends that we can share anything with one another, so we came up with some rules as to when it can occur and we went from there. It wasn't spontaneous or anything like this guy was trying to do. This is what a guy that likes a girl as a potential girlfriend would do.

bapmo · Accepted Answer

Yes there is such a thing as platonic cuddling. I have a best friend who I am very comfortable with and cuddle with all of the time, but nothing would ever happen between us.

Your situation however is not platonic. He's interested in you which means that if you let him get close to you then he's going to interpret as you being interested in him.

Keep your distance because everything you do is going to lead him on for awhile. You can hang out with him but I would not cuddle with him.

Good luck!

-Guy who has been on the other end of this equation often

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

In my experience with "puppy dog love," he now has a crush on you---HIS "close female friend."  Maybe it just didn't happen over nite, maybe it did, and maybe even it was coming on, but you "missed the boat,' to sort of speak.  If you are not returning his affection, and "pushing him away" like jokingly, I do believe he will get the hint and just stop being so spontaneous.  I don't think it will take "any rocket scientist" to figure out that you don't feel the same way, so just go on as usual, don't lead him on in ANY way, and if he still tries to "reach out to you," and you are not feeling comfortable about your "friendly hook up nites," then  slowly back down and away, and don't get cozy on the couch, but do something together less "cuddly".  I think that if you would just out and out tell your close bud that you want to be platonic, it may sink your friendship just like the "Titanic."

Miyani11 · Accepted Answer

Yeah your situation isn't platonic AT ALL. He's definitely making the moves on you, especially with that leaning to kiss you move. I'm kinda jealous of you right now lol. But yes there is such a thing as platonic cuddling when watching a movie. Ex: head on someone's leg (not in b/t lap), resting head on shoulder (not breast/chest), hugging/grabbing arm when something sad/scary (not whole body).

If you didn't want him touching you, you should've poked him under his arm so he'd get tickled and stop, but then again, he might've taken it further with the tickling so nevermind. I would've pushed him off of me though or elbowed him in the stomach and said you can let go now in a funny way. If you say I like you as a brother, that'll make him stop for sure lol.

Logorithim · Answer

Supposedly there is platonic cuddling (I've never done it before, though), but I wouldn't agree to do it, even if I were single because there would be too much temptation. Cuddling is something I only do with my girlfriend.

centigrade · Answer

Yes there is such a thing I think, but sometimes we try our luck. Cuddling just adds so much to the movie. I will put my arm around her if I see her eyes start to water or it really gets sad, then by judging reaction (if my shoulder becomes a pillow, which I love), either move it or keep it there. I don't always intend it to be a romantic thing, Its kind of automatic just to show I'm there for them.

Its hard to tell if he was joking around or not, but it kinda sounds like he was making a move. What was his facial expression when you pushed him away?

jslxoxo · Answer

Lol you know, I've always wondered the same thing. This guy I know suggest that we do the same, but swears he won't make a move.  Generally speaking, if a girl wants to do some platonic cuddling, then there is a such thing. If a guy wants to , then there isn't.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah--he has a thing for you. No, there is no such thing as platonic cuddling--ESPECIALLY in college. And the reason he asked you about making out is he'd like to do that with you.

If you have no sexual feelings for him, you need to not put yourself in a situation where you allow him to initiate physical contact with you that's intimate. How can you tell it's intimate? If it's something he'd NEVER do with a dude, that's intimate. Would he put his arm around a guy during Titanic? Pretend to make out with a dude? No? Then yeah--he's into you and if you don't want to lead him on, don't allow him to get that close.

SarahsSummer · Answer

He’s into you but when you pushed him away and called him bud that may have been enough to let him know you’re not that into him. but if it happens again you may need to do the sane thing. If you’re ok being more proactive, You might just say before the next get-together that you just want to be friends.

vanillapinkcake · Answer

He was obviously making a move.

There was a guy friend of mine years ago, after our morning class we would go back to his dorm, eat breakfast, then cuddle up on his couch our in his bed to take a nap. It was just an automatic platonic thing for us. We both dated other people, nothing serious or I would have ended the nap sessions like I did eventually. So platonic cuddling is very real.

But he never tried to kiss me, or even pretend to, and wouldn't have.

snowangle · Answer

It exists, but it's pretty rare. Cuddling causes our bodies to release a hormone called Oxytocin which is a bonding hormone, so it's hard not to feel something while cuddling. But if you're close enough friends, it's possible just to feel a platonic attachment while cuddling without any romantic tension. I've done it before.

jamalwill69 · Answer

Idk I don't believe in it. The last girl I hooked up with watched that movie with me the first time I went to her place.  I don't think she wanted anything sexual with me at the time of watching it but it's like why do girls insist on watching long, lame movies like that with a guy who's clearly not interested in the movie? I won't watch that garbage unless I'm getting some after

Anonymous · Answer

Not really. I think he was making a move.

You're in a tough position, because until he tells you, he puts you in the role of being the jerk in the situation. I'd try to avoid being in physically intimate situations with him and to try not to make him your primary emotional connection.

Syrian_survivor · Answer

Ehhhhhhhhh
Nah? At least from both sides in my opinion, especially guys

Also, he asked you about advice for HOOKING UP
And then he instantly showed interest in you after you "helped"
Are you sure he doesn't wanna be a friends with benefits nothing more?

bizmarkee · Answer

If you don't like him you're sending the wrong message and shouldn't be cuddling with him. Clearly if he tried to kiss you then he's into you. Next time sit in a chair for one person or don't invite him over.

DarkJeanie · Answer

Keep it simple but not a lot but every so often work into conversation that he's a good friend. Not a stupid amount of times but when opportunity presents itself. Might help if you ask his opinion on what to do about a guy "you like". If he flat out says he's interested in you, laugh it off like you did before but if that doesn't feel right then be straight forward about it to him then quickly change the subject onto something you have in common like school.

JustinAnOmAlY · Answer

No, in a guys mind, there is no such thing as PLUTONIC cuddling. Any guy who says otherwise, has ulterior motives.

kitty007 · Answer

Doesn't sound like he's being platonic with you. Better drop some hints that you only see him as a friend

thissitesucks · Answer

Titanic is a tragedy, not a romance. It was turned into a romance, so it could make money

BatmansWife · Answer

The dude likes you more than a friend. Don't drag/lead him on. You need to tell him exactly how you feel.

TripleAce · Answer

Anyone that kinda cuddles is also kinda open to a bit more at some point. Not always no. But it’s getting close to that yes

DarkHumorRUs · Answer

I think there definitely should be. It's just comforting.

BigToeJohn420 · Answer

Sounds like you better make your intentions clear.  He might be touching himself while thinking of you. Good luck.

cavmanier · Answer

I think he was making a move. I've never experienced platonic cuddling.

Is there such a thing as platonic cuddling?

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