An Existential Crisis Feels Confusing that's what.
Am I mad?
Am I alone?
Am I too deep you've lost me through the cracks of the floor?
I work 100 hours a week since last week, months before that it was around 50/week. I'm trying to get 2 companies off the ground, I procrastinate 80 hours of it this week, I know how to fix it, but I have no vision/motivation so I don't care. I know how to get there from step 1 to the finish line and how to do it effectively. I know I can work 20 hours a week if I organize my resources and get an assistant which I used to have. I should hire another one. But I've been using programs to try and automate things but either way,
I just can't seem to care. See? My logic goes flying out the window already.
I'm going to fight myself now
I've started companies before and failed so hilariously, I kept laughing until one became successful. Then I sold it during a depressive phase because I don't want to do anything. All caused by an extremely painful breakup. But I'm over that now.
I don't fear perseverance. Been broke a few times. Broke right now lol. Got back up many times.
But this time I just don't care. No inspiration. It's funny how I know to efficiently get from 0 to 100. I can probably write 100 Mytakes on that. It took me 5 years through trial and error to learn and adjust it to my needs. Still got a lot to learn though
$$$ no longer became a motivation (which is something I know a long time ago), so I shift it to girls (Which works for 2 weeks before I realized how stupid it is). Now I work for no reason and just wait until the weekend, randomly getting dinner/sex during the week and party all weekend.
Here's a free tip for reading this far sexy.
I learn new things constantly (to an above average-high level) so I got that going for me. That's not a skill I was born with, anyone can do that. I do that very efficiently, maybe a month or so. Barely spent an hour. Everyone who's not doing this is missing out. I might do a Mytake on this later.
I feel like a waste of space. I can't seem to have that love for humanity like Elon Musk(lol). Nor do I care about crushing the competition as I do before. I only seem to have intuition. I know how to develop it, but I don't care.
My solution is to find a loving girlfriend, but how long will this last. The power of love? will fix my problems? Or the power of hugs? lol
@Tohhhru hold me because things are about to get degenerate.
I haven't seen my dates for a few days now, rarely messaging them, I don't care lol. I was just sleazing on girls randomly all day yesterday, trying to hook up with this chick on Reddit because I'm weird like that okay (no u).
Then I left her on read because I was too busy responding on G@G LMFAO. All of this while tindering/bumbling/Coffee bagel with mostly me talking smack with little interest because it was a Tuesday and most of them work. I was even trying to pick up on Pornhub to see if I can! ( i think you can lol).
Thee apps are awesome for conversations lol (and for....you know)
@LegateLanius Your thoughts right now
Life sucks when you have no reason to get up every morning except for weekends when it's party time yo! This procrastination wasn't so bad before, but right now with no vision, no desire like I once had.
The only thing that remained the same is my love for learning. I didn't go to college/university though lol. I did do some short courses there I thought were interesting.
Could this be a result of information overload? dark triad tendencies kicking in? G@G's fault?
No, I can solve those issues, but I just don't care. I can't see my vision anymore.
Here's another tip, this ones on me.
Stick important notes all over your house(Or whatever you must do) so you never forget what you learned. Because there's no point in learning something if you're going to forget it.
I'm currently trying to organize a swinger's party for tonight but it's Wednesday lol. I've never been to one. Or I might go on a dinner date just to get out of the house (joking I'm not moving anywhere, she has to come here!). I'll decide within the hour. I'll most likely go on my date, I miss her company. I also need some fresh air.
Anyways, I felt a lot better after writing it down. (This is Tip #3 for reading till the end)
Yes, this is not what I normally preach people to talk about themselves and I realize there are a lot of negative languages. Beating yourself up is not good. Yeah, I can probably structure my mytakes better and edit it so it's easier to read. But...I don't....care.
Thanks for reading.
I need to go...think.