How College Affected My Insecurity When It Came To My Looks

brebre234

This mytake will discuss how college affected my beauty standards within myself. I'm not trying to say that I do not care about my looks however when students at a college level start ridiculing you about your looks that is problem cause its very immature and stupid. I'm there to get an education not to empress other students just to keep up with the status quo.

From middle school to college (yes college) I have always been teased for my looks. In middle school I was getting taunted and bullied from kids that are from my own race because of how I look. It took a toll in my life because it led to me wearing light make up in the 8th grade such as eye shadow and lipstick. Even though a lot of people always told me that I was pretty and the people who were calling me ugly were jealous, their comments still affected me because as a black girl I always wondered what if my skin was lighter? Would I be considered pretty by them. This resulted in me not feeling comfortable with my skin tone for a long time.

How College Affected My Insecurity When It Came To My Looks

Years later I started college at the age of 18. My freshman through junior year of college was complete hell for me. I would have girls from my own race telling me how ugly my features were and how I need to shop at Fashion Nova etc. No matter how many times I would try to fix my looks they would still try to find something that wrong with me. The teasing got so bad it resulted in me trying to commit suicide but I couldn't do it. As a result I stopped hanging around the group of girls who were taunting me which took a lot of weight off my shoulders. Even though I'm just going to class I tend to fully dress up for class. Such as wearing dresses or nice jumpsuits, full fledged make up, high heels, and wearing nice hairstyles. It got to a point wear a lot of students were confused whether going to class or going on a nice date or a business meeting. However it eventually led to where I will never go to class looking casual because I'm afraid I would get pointed out for it. One day I got really upset cause a random girl at the college walked up to me telling me how a group of Caribbean students were talking about how bad my eye shadow looked even though other people were telling me how good it looked she told me those people were lying. I actually went off on the girl cause one its rude as fuck to walk up to somebody and tell them how bad they look. Two I really don't know you like that and you're trying to give me a makeup lesson when you don't wear make up yourself? Another similar incident took place where my friend called me in the middle of the night around 12 due to an emergency. I went to her room but I wasn't expecting her friend to be there. Her friend kept bashing me and told me my legs were hairy and she assumes that just because they were hairy she assumes that my vagina was not shaved neither. This also got me upset to cause its sad how people from my own race like to tear me down while to other ethnicity and races they see me as beautiful.

By these negative experiences it lead to a shopping addiction. Shopping for the latest clothes and makeup so I could empress people which is starting to become tiring. By my shopping addiction I realized how ridiculous it was and just started loving myself for who I am no matter what anybody says. I started breaking away from negative people and just started being my own friend. To conclude this myTake I want to tell all girls and guys DON'T let anybody put you down for your looks! Love yourself no matter what! Focus on your goals such as graduating, getting a job etc. Let me know in the comments below about your experience or what you think of this myTake. Please do not leave any rude comments towards me or anyone else if they talk about their experience cause you will get your commented deleted and your will be blocked or reported. Take care and see you for my next myTake.

How College Affected My Insecurity When It Came To My Looks
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Most Helpful Girls

  • NatashaJ
    Okay first of all I think you should tell these people if they keep bothering you. You go to school and claim they are harassing you because that's what it is. They shut up quickly knowing might be kick out of school for it. I hate how black culture and Caribbean culture normalize that it is okay to be dicks to people. Before anyone call me racist I dealt with so many black and Caribbean people with attitudes problems towards others and they always try to paint it as everyone else is the problem or if your white they pull the race card. Saying "oh you don't like me? you must hate me because of my skin color even though I was talking shit a second ago and saying nasty things it clearly because of my race" this literally happen to me before which made no sense because I call one of the girls a bitch and she turn it because I'm being racist. I didn't know calling someone a bitch is a racist term wtf. Just remember these people are the same people who try to pull that people don't like me for xyz yet want good paying jobs but can't act professional and everyone out to get them because they can't adapt. Keep your head up and you should speak out more against these assholes. If someone calling you ugly it's always the ugly ass motherfuckers doing it. Just say "you know you not that cute anyway but your making yourself ugly when you act ugly and personality is atrocious".
    Is this still revelant?
    • NatashaJ

      your personality is atrocious* but worst thing comes to it I think you should transfer schools if the school refuses to deal with this behaviour. If they refuse to do anything you can always go to a newspaper and say your story how the school is letting harassment get away and the school wouldn't want their image damage from it.

    • NatashaJ

      Also why are you letting broke ass bitches get to you lol they literally can only afford fashion nova which is know for being a scam, treating their customers as shit and have poor quality clothing. Lol like you should call them out saying sorry I can afford better brands then fashion nova you broke ass bitch.

    • brebre234

      I strongly agree with you. I go to a catholic school and there are a lot of judgmental Caribbean students there. Not only judgmental they are very very bold. For example if your breath stink they tell you straight up. They are also very shady. One girl I know told me I have a nice shape however I need to start wearing more flattering clothes. College is not a fashion show. Its sick how grown ass 20 year olds are supposed to act mature cause they are in college but instead they act like they still in middle school. I'm not trying to sound racist neither but I really dont like dealing with Caribbean or even my own black people because of my past experiences with them. In general I am in my senior year of college preparing to attend a law school. I am done with the people on my campus. What put me over the edge was when after I had not roommates for 3 months. A jamaican girl move into my apartment in campus. Started trouble within a week and try to make claims that I tried to kill her. That is what put me on the edge. It's just best to stick to yourself.

    • Show All
  • LuvAsh
    I feel you😩 I'm sorry that happened to you. Thank you for sharing your story with us❤ that was brave of you!!
    Is this still revelant?
    • brebre234

      Thank you girl! I'm glad you enjoyed the mytake😘❤

Most Helpful Guys

  • Clarke498
    Great to hear things are going better. I've not been ridiculed for my looks but for other stuff. I need to work out though and lose some weight. Have heard comment about it, but not had an actual problem with it. Awesome to hear things are better now :)
    Is this still revelant?
    • brebre234

      It's sad how people are so rude. Before judging other judge yourself. I hope everything works out for you and thank you for reading mytake❤

  • sidvt
    This is common in this fake world these days don't know why they die for looks. It's TRUE tht u get old and beauty is just for 5 to 10 years max
    Is this still revelant?
    • brebre234

      I agree and sorry for the spelling error in one of the sentences I meant where not wear

    • sidvt

      Lol got your emotion so chill

    • Pulimuli

      5-10 years? Maybe if you are a meth addict lol

      Beautiful people with good aging genetics will be beautiful from early teens well into their 40s

      Nobody is beautiful at 15-20 and then look like a total wreck at 25 unless you do everything in your power to destroy your body

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What Girls & Guys Said

147
  • Finchie40
    Sorry tp hear u went through that , most people r assholes and it comes down to. their own insecurities. When someone can take the. time to make someone else feel like they aren't pretty or good looking it just shows u what kind of person they really are , jealous and insecure. Pieces of shit. It's sad that we live in a world like this but you yourself needs to realize those people dont mean nothing tp you , i know words can hurt but when someone can take the. time to say hurtful words to you , just walk away and remove them from your life cuz the reality of it they are nobody. Their time will come when karma kicks them in the ass. Bit all that matters is you're happy with yourself be who you are cuz that's all that matters , surround ypurself with positive people and delete all the negative around you , never change you for anyone , if someone can't love u for u they dont deserve to be in your life , never force someone to like u only accept people that want to be in your life , fuck everyone else cuz they are nothing
    • brebre234

      Thank you and I agree. I cut out all the toxic people in my life at college. I just stay to myself and focus on me. It's sad how it has to be that way but it's the best.

    • Finchie40

      Yes , the world is filled with 2 sides , their is always 2 sides of everything , Good and bad , positive and negative etc. We can only focus on What side we choose for ourselves , so again thats all that matters not everyone is going. to like us , Not everyone is going. to agree with us , so focusing on ourselves and surrounding ourselves with people that think and love like we do is is what's most important all the others remove from your life when we fall in love with someone and get into a marriage that's the only time in your life that you should make your partner your priority , it comes down to the both of you against the world. Your partner should be your number 1 over your family over your kids and friends , most people make that mistake cuz the reality of it is when you are lying on your Death bed your partner will be with you until the end

  • jennifer_bloom
    I don't believe you. I was in college - and there were obese people who were close friends with girls that looked like super models and there were broke people friends with millionaires - and there were popular guys friends with those who didn't have any friends - if you treat others with respect and treat yourself with respect - you won't get picked on for being fat or ugly or poor or weird - your sex appeal is of no consequence to somebody you have an academic relationship with.
    • brebre234

      Everyone has an different experience. I'm just telling my story. I think its rude how I write my post then you come and say I dont believe you. And I treat everyone with respect and I always get treated like crap for no reason. You got students who dont bother nobody and they would still get picked on by others. Dont you get it? people would pick on you if they are jealous of you

  • blondfrog
    I'll never understand what your feeling because I am not black. I hate it when other people tell me they know how I feel when I face a certain type of pressure or crisis only I can understand and others like me can understand so I won't do the same to you. This is why social media had become a plague. My only concern is when people tell these stories if they are telling both sides of the story or the full story. I have no empathy or sympathy for those who used to love getting attention then one day became so full of themself that the whole media or people in their real life circle blacklisted them or pigeon held them (to put away in a drawer never to be seen again.) Meaning neglecting someone. If what you are saying is true then I am truly sorry. You'll most likely find someone someday and then after that looks to you won't be so important. I agree with you college is a place to learn not for looks. This one time this woman in my college class outside of the classroom in a lounge pulled herself closer to me as this one woman passed us by and said to me " did you see that girl?" I said "what about her?" She said "it's been 2 whole weeks and everyday she has worn the same exact clothes." I sighed and said "so?"
    • brebre234

      Hi thanks for reading mytake. I'm not an attention seeker nor do I care if I get attention or not. I just wanted to tell my story and tell people dont let nobody bring them down at all no matter what. There is no two sides of this story. The truth is people are cruel and I should have not have to go through this experience. I came there to learn not to partake in a fashion show. I agree with you social media is a plague its cruel.

    • blondfrog

      I agree too. Thanks for sharing.

  • Ellie-V
    Nice take, but I don’t think your experience had anything to do with college. There are assholes everywhere you go, and not every college is toxic like how you described.
    • brebre234

      Yes I agree even though there are those type of people everywhere, its annoying cause it's a small college in the middle of no where. It's just that I'm stuck around those people 24/7. It gets annoying.

    • Ellie-V

      A lot of times, those behaviors are carried into the workplace depending on the field you enter. People are just either going to be rude or welcoming.

    • brebre234

      True

  • Adam_INTJ
    Geez. Get thicker skin. To have fans, you must have haters. The alternative is to have a lot of people who ignore you. EVERYTHING will have people who like it and people who don't. Trick is to pay most attention to the people like the things that you do.

    You will NEVER please everybody, and you may not even please a majority. Just please the people who are important to you. The rest can hate and howl at the moon.

    You don't need to give them an ear.
    • brebre234

      Yeah true I'm just focusing on myself and ignoring what people think. Thank you for reading mytake 😊

    • Adam_INTJ

      Don't ignore the supportive people though.

      You should pay attention to the people who are actually paying attention to you, but while you listen to what they say, you must prioritize your perception over theirs.

      Occasionally critics have something valuble to add, like pointing out something that could get you viewed in bad light by an employer, I don't know.

  • Daniela1982
    Crap, I always get to these threads too late. As one who was always teased because of my weight I can only say get used to it or grow a thicker skin. It's not going to stop until you reach 30. :(
  • Kayla45
    See that's the thing about people, they behave like animals and decide that it's fun to make fun of others, when in reality they're just insecure themselves.
    • brebre234

      True I agree. By making fun of others they insecure themselves and try to make that person feel insecure about themselves too.

  • hellacray
    Well maybe cause you're a girl. Cause there were times I dressed pretty badly just cause I was lazy lol.

    And no one really cared. Or maybe your college is just filled with idiots.
    • brebre234

      My college is filled with idiots sadly lol😭😂😂

  • AriesMan
    I am sure you are gorgeous as hell with or without makeup and literally looking like you rolled out of bed and threw some clothes on for class or dressing up to impress and really dropping the jaws of guys. People do get jealous, people can be real pricks to you and when jealous, and people will find faults with you no matter how well you do or noble your intentions. You get it now, don't waste your time with such people and their comments. You know you are good looking so why go to all this trouble just to entertain such people? You are going to college! Forget the b. s. of other people.
  • DianaWest
    oh. i'm sorry about your experience. people in my uni mind their own business. they may give an eye roll or two, but usually keep their yaps shut. just as I like it. you need thicker skin. dress stylishly for yourself, to feel good about yourself, and screw everyone else. the next time someone comments on your appearance, tell them to pull out a mirror to check out their own appearance before commenting on others'. and those girls teasing you are 99.9% most likely jealous. I used to get called ugly on a daily basis by girls too, but amazingly I would get asked out and hit on by a lot of guys.
    • brebre234

      Thank you❤ and I wish it was like that at my college too where people minded their own business. My college is small so of course everyone is in each other business. And I have the same issue too. These girls would call me ugly however guys at the school would be asking me out lol🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

  • SueShe
    Very nice myTake and you have my sympathies for the ordeal you had to go through.

    The mobbing you were victim of is not solely directed to a racial issue but is anchored much deeper. Because you failed to integrate in a group or gang of girls or guys, they took it out on you to teach you a lesson.

    Gossip is a very powerful weapon and mostly those those of the same kind know best how to hurt the most and what actions and words are those that leave psychological traces.

    You were strong enough not to give in, yet you have given a thought about ending it all. But you found a way out and I am happy for you that you found the force to exit this vicious circle.

    It is true, never let anyone tell you what or who you should be. This is only a decision that you can do and for that, you need force of character. But have proved that you have that quality.

    Good for you.
    • brebre234

      Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the mytake and thank yoy for your support :)

  • Kiran_Yagami
    I'm not really sure how you came to the conclusion that people are suddenly grown up at college? YOU ARE STILL KIDS IN COLLEGE. Thinking otherwise is arrogance and stupidity. You are still under adult supervision. You are still sheltered from the real world. You are still being coddled. College just gets you out of the mom and dad's house to give you a small taste of what it's like to be an adult. You're not an adult until after you leave and start hauling the weight of life on your own. So of course your college experience was not so different from your experiences in high school. I'm sorry for that, but that's the way it is for literally everyone.
    • brebre234

      I came up with that conclusion because besides high school where teachers tell you that college is going to be mature etc etc. Then I have friends who go to large size universities and they tell me it's totally different from high school cause at their university everyone just mind there own business. However that isn't the case at my college. Since it's small one bad thing you do the whole campus hear about it.

    • Your friends were living in fantasy land. The only thing different between college and high school is there is less adult supervision, however you are not an adult and you are not unsupervised. People in college still do ridiculously stupid things and have ridiculously stupid values. It's not different from high school. It's high school on steroids.

    • zagor

      I don'[t know what university she went to but people sure as hell weren't that shallow where I went.

  • zagor
    You can't let others get you down. You don't know what their motives are, what pressures they are under.
    • brebre234

      Oh trust me they aren't under any pressures. They just plain judgmental which is sad

    • zagor

      That is what life is like at that age.

  • Britantic
    I can relate to some if this as there has been peer & societal pressure on me for some time from other girls to wear fake tan, or tan my skin in the sun, listen to black music, get BOTOX for bigger lips, wear coloured contacts , to dress more ghetto, to try to make my ass bigger and to get weaves or hair extensions but I'm happy bein who and what I am. I dont care if others think I'm too pasty white or my butts too tiny, or that I'm to think and need to be thicker, that they don't like my natural bright ginger hair or that my eyes are too blue, they can piss off.
    I'm a White Queen and that's how I will stay.
    #WHITEQUEEN
  • stupidbish
    Like middle school a over again😤

    I'm glad I'm done with middle school
    • You shouldn't feel like your skin needs to light either. I am lighskined and people still don't find me attractive.😑

      I also want a nice dark brown skin tone because I like dark skin and black guys.

    • brebre234

      Omg same people are so petty now a days

    • brebre234

      Oh yeah colorism plays a huge role when it comes to medium brown (like me) or dark skin girls. It's pretty sad

  • Tell me about It. Lol 😂 i am still ugly
    • brebre234

      You are not ugly😩

    • sadly on my last review I am a 1.2

    • brebre234

      Dont post your pictures on here

    • Show All
  • Aphrodite801
    Yes good take, don’t mind those damn haters.
  • Good take.
  • Anonymous
    Okay I teared up reading this. This is literally me now at 18. :( I can relate to you and I hate that you’ve went through this. Keep fighting💙 I hope I can be strong as you are some day soon 🎇
    • brebre234

      Aww I almost cried while typing this😩. Society is so cruel. Because of my experience I just want to be alone next school year so I could graduate and go to law school. Keep fighting! Dont let any haters put you down! You are strong ❤

    • Anonymous

      ❤️thank you so much!❤️

  • Anonymous
    Wow I’m so happy you broke free from that pressure beauty crap. Society are the people who make it feel like hell.
    Not many women make it out loving themselves. I’m currently trying to love my natural self as well.
    • brebre234

      Yeah cause of my experience I pretty much want to be alone next school year. Cause the people at my school are backstabbed and negative. I love myself but I'm still trying to love myself more. You should start loving your natural self more.❤

  • Anonymous
    I am the same the one about the race thingy, it sucks but fuck em
    • brebre234

      I agree it's sad how instead of uplifting each other we tear each other down.

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