My Story Of Overcoming Insecurities

[LatinTango0614]

This is for anyone that is struggling with self confidence, or insecurities. As everyone knows, society has always shoved "Beauty Standards" down every adolescents throats; be it male or female.

At age 9, at my old Baptist church (Where I thought I was safe at the time), a group of high school girls were making fun of me- calling me ugly. The four letters everyone dreads. I had no self awareness at the time, I guess you could say I just looked in the mirror everyday and thought "Oh hey, that's me!" Instead of "Wow, you look hideous today. Look at that zit, and those puffy eyes. That red skin. Disgusting."

I went home that day and went straight to my mirror. I stared at myself and it soaked in, "You are ugly". It only took one group of girls to say one word to start me down a 6 year battle with my insecurities. I was constantly judging myself thinking, what is it that makes me ugly? I was always pondering why until I was 12. "It's your teeth. They are so crooked and yellow. Oh, and your hair is so frizzy and unkept. By the way, have you looked at your NOSE recently?!?!" My mind is shouting at me. I don't know how to fix it. I want to look beautiful like the girls on TV. "No one will ever marry a dog like you" No one has called me ugly since I was 9, except MYSELF. Everyday was a constant battle of how to look good, how to impress people. Then I had a bout of cystic acne, because thinking you're uglier than a camel isn't bad enough. It was at that time I had also noticed that I was as flat chested as a boy. I realize I was only 12, but at 12 a lot of useless crap is a big deal. I hid under pounds of makeup, hats and baggy clothes. At 13, I remember bawling and pleading with my mom and dad to get me a nose job. Convinced that it was making me so hideous. They declined, saying I was too young (Which I understand now and thank goodness they didn't let me.)

One day at 14, I was reading my bible when I realized, "Hey, God thought of me before time began. He designed my face, my body. God thinks I'm beautiful." I remember breaking down in tears and looking in the mirror. I said to my reflection "You ARE beautiful." Everyday, no matter how hideous I felt, no matter how big that zit was on the middle of my forehead was, no matter how bulbous my nose looked, I said "You ARE beautiful. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!"

Then when I was 15 1/2, I started believing it. I was looking in the mirror and saying, "Hey, you're looking GOOOOOD today girl!" And walking out of the house in confidence. As soon as I started believing it, I was getting compliments left and right! "Wow, your hair is gorgeous!" "You have such beautiful eyes." "You're eyebrows are amazing!" "You have the perfect body." But none of that matters. What other people's opinions of how you look DOESN'T matter. It's what you think of yourself. How GOD thinks of you.

AND GOD THINKS YOU'RE PERFECT.

I THINK YOU'RE PERFECT!

(Attached is a pic of my side profile I used to loathe so much, now at 17 I think is unique and beautiful!)

Here is a bonus pic of me at 12, my most self conscious phase.

I hope this MyTake helped you today. It was my first!

I just joined so I don't think I can message anyone yet, but if you would like to talk go ahead and privately comment and I'll try my best to get back to you.

❤️❤️❤️

[ak666]

It's interesting to me how you got over this because I had a very different way of going about it.

I had similar insecurities as a teenager. My silliest one was that I saw a photo my dentist took which was taken from an upward angle with my mouth open. I realized my nostrils were asymmetrical. "OMFG! My nostrils are asymmetrical!"

I started actually obsessing over this to the point where I was trying to pinch my nose and straighten it. I also concluded that this was the entire reason girls don't like me.

After those awkward teenage years though, I started receiving attention from the opposite sex. I started filling in my shirts, I lost my virginity, got a girlfriend, etc.

With my first girlfriend, I was so paranoid about making sure she never saw me from an upward angle until one day, I just decided to show her. I was so ridiculous and said something like, "It's okay if you break up with me but I need to show you something. I have asymmetrical nostrils!"

Then she laughed and said it's no big deal and that she never noticed. She then turned her face upwards and showed me that she also had asymmetrical nostrils. "Wow, her nose is asymmetrical too! But I still think she's so pretty. Maybe it's not a big deal."

That was how I overcame those insecurities. It came from just finally receiving attention from the opposite sex.

[ak666]

I sometimes think this is a general difference between males and females. I think females internalize their own sense of attractiveness to a larger extent than guys, because I have met females who have plenty of attention from the opposite sex and still have those insecurities.

In my case at least, I *externalize* my sense of attractiveness. I feel like I'm really good-looking when lots of girls are looking my way and flirting with me a lot. I feel ugly when they're not.

While my insecurities were still internalized to some degree, what really helped me get over them ultimately was receiving attention from the opposite sex, starting with my first girlfriend who actually approached and flirted with me a lot since I was really shy back then.

[ak666]

Beauty has a practical sense to me in that it's only useful for attracting a certain type of attention from people (though both sexes, males tend to treat me better if they perceive me as attractive, even if they're heterosexual; it's like they look up to me). It's very external. I could be ugly and not care less otherwise.

That became a problem to me after marriage because I lost a lot of the incentive to work out. It didn't matter to me if I became ugly afterwards unless that would come at the cost of losing my wife. So I kind of slacked off until it was affecting my health negatively. I then started developing the motivation again but with health as a focus, no longer beauty. Beauty is not such a crucial thing for me to have anymore unless it's essential to keep my wife.

[Mary_June]

I've gone and turned myself into a German Shepherd through surgery... it's been only a couple weeks since completion. I couldn't be happier I'm finally the dog I've always dreamed of being, but fact is I'm scared how the rest of the world might see me. Will they see me as a monster? A freak? Will I even be able to get a job? It's stressful, but I can do anything as long as I've got my boyfriend with me :)

[I-am-a-nobody]

Good MyTake
Just remember there's more to life than physical beauty as there aren't too many "hot" 90 year old's out there. But I trust you know this to one degree or another.

Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

And the inside is more important that the outside.

Luke 11:40
You foolish ones, did not He who made the outside make the inside also?

Still, it is neat to blossom from where you were at age 12 to where you are now.
(Not that you weren't beautiful, especially in the eyes of God, at age 12.)

I myself, was a skinny, pimply, nerdy looking kid in my teens and got to be reasonably attractive in my 20's and 30's. At 55, the outer man is starting to "decay", but you try to keep it in perspective.

2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

God bless you.

[victoriameliegray]

it's very brave of you to share your personal experiences with battling insecurities :) great mytake. I'm kind of going through my self conscious phrase too haha

[LatinTango0614]

Good luck!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[victoriameliegray]

thank you :)

[Anonymous]

Ok honestly speaking you are really pretty. You inspired me. I always thought of myself being ugly even though when no one told me that. I am judging myself way more than i should. The thing is everytime i go out with my friends, they always get male attention while i rarely do. This caused for me a lot of insecurities. But after your post, about God creating me and thinking i was beautiful, I will change the way i percieve myself.

[LatinTango0614]

I am so glad that my story helped you! Keep your chin up gorgeous!

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you love :D i shall

[TomBradysJersey]

Unfortunately I haven't got to that point. Im unconfident in my looks. Im pretty ugly for a guy and i'm also insecure. I keep on looking for advice but none seems to hit home for me. I don't know if I can look myself in the mirror and say I look good. I guess I say this because no girl has found me attractive and I have taken that personally. Also I usually keep all this to myself.

[HoneyButterCup525]

Thank you so much for sharing your story I went through the same thing too but picking yourself up like that was amazing. Xxoxxo.

[clh72481]

You were never ugly. Try being ugly as a kid and an adult. Sucks.

[JustCallMeLeon]

Did you have a nose job?

[LatinTango0614]

No I did not. My face grew into it. Lol

[Carley99]

Thanks for sharing I went through the same thing.

[MarkRet]

If it's any help, I think you look pretty cute.

[John_Doesnt]

Cool story, but you're hot.

[Bleh-___-]

That's awesome, I struggled with

[Bleh-___-]

Accidentally pressed enter lol
I struggled with self esteem a lot growing up without even really knowing it. I was a hideous kid and everyone made sure to let me know it lol but I was mature so I learned to laugh at myself and focus on developing my personality, hence why I'm down to earth today. What made it worse was that I had (and still have lmao she's not dead) a gorgeous sister who everyone favored over me because of her looks. People always told me that looks fade but personality stays forever but it didn't mean much when I would be talking to a guy with my sister, make him piss himself laughing, and then he would go back to staring at her rack. It got to the point where even though she didn't personally do anything to me I would hate going out with her because of all the attention she would get as a reminder to me that "you're nowhere near as good". There was more but this is pretty much it.
by the way I'm not religious at all but good for you asker, legit thought your pic was a model

[LatinTango0614]

I definitely get the gorgeous sister thing! My older sister is super gorgeous, and when I was having my self esteem issues it didn't help at all to watch her get hit on all day long.

At the time we were both young and you know sisters can be mean and pick on you, so she would laugh and say, "Hey, when are ya gonna grow some boobs? Hahaha" I actually started stuffing my bra for about a month when I was 12 it got to me so bad. What's funny though is that now I've got a bigger set than she does by quite a bit. 😂😂😂

What really helped me (and my mom really helped me with this) was trying not to compare yourself. I know it's hard, but make yourself ignore it when guys hit on her, smile and say "good for you" and focus on yourself. I still struggle a little when it comes to comparing myself to her, but it's a work in progress!

[independentman]

You looked awesome at 13

[MakingMeHiiiigh]

You are seriously good looking. Nice MyTake!

[hotstuffSRD]

How old are you?

[LatinTango0614]

I am 17.

[hotstuffSRD]

Can an 18 year old hit on a 17 year old? 😶

[LatinTango0614]

Of course! I like guys my age-23.

[hotstuffSRD]

And about him asking her number?

[hotstuffSRD]

*what about

[LatinTango0614]

Wouldn't have a problem with that at all. 😊

[hotstuffSRD]

Should he message her?

[LatinTango0614]

If he feels he should, then go for it!

[hotstuffSRD]

Just tried
But couldn't cause she needs to follow him

[LatinTango0614]

Lol are you talking about me?

[hotstuffSRD]

Yep 😂

[Dim1213]

Great mytake

[Anonymous]

thats amazing good for you

[Anonymous]

good for you