What do you think of this situation?

[Darknut3]

This is going to be a multi part as this is an extensive situation here goes:
Is it wrong for me to feel jealous over my boss and her husbands relationship? I don’t know why I feel this way towards my boss but I do. First of all I am married with children and have my own family and life to take care of so this shouldn’t even be a thing but it is. Nobody at all knows I feel this way and I just have this urge time and time again to want to pursue her. I guess to see if it is fact a possibly or maybe an attempt to plant the seed in her head in case things ever went bad with her husband. I would be built up enough in a positive light so she may show an interest right away in me and get things moving.
My entire life I’ve always heard that a preachers daughter is the worst kind of woman to be involved with and be careful doing so (being wild etc) so I have that mindset going in, but in this case I don’t think she is a that person. She was raised in all private/home Christian school setting though. She seems to reflect that. She seems good natured about how she behaves if that makes any sense, almost so that sometimes I wished I had ended up with someone like that, someone that can help me be the person I need to be to carry out whatever the lords plan is. I feel at times I can do that with her, I just don’t know how to go about it.
even sent her praise and compliments time to time about how she is doing a great job and that her leadership was an inspiration to keep up the good work. She sent me an instant message saying thank you for the kind words you are really sweet, I appreciate all of your comments with a blushing emoticon. Talking with her in my performance reviews, we sometimes get on a personal level and we share things about our personal lives whats going on etc.

Updates

1 y

Now she starts putting her lunch next to mine in the refrigerator and there's tons of space in there too. Leaving work yesterday she was standing talking and turns towards me and immediately flush red on her face and her eyes got real big. Smiling and waving moving her fingers waving.

Updates

1 y

Might I add in the last month she states in a conversation that her husband only has two days off a week and works third shift and she never sees him because we are in the office those days. Said they were like ships passing in the night, that same day during this conversation she took her wedding ring off and had her hand pointed openly toward me showing empty fingers whatever that meant

Updates

1 y

And that she mentions on Skype she's taken notice of how well of a job I'm doing as of late she really appreciates what I do.

[SueShe]

Well, you are in the wrong and you know it but you don't want to do anything about it. Rather than to help your situation, you start fantasizing about it and finding all kind of excuses why you should pursue your quest to try to get to her.

Whatever you do, just remember that

1. You have your own family and you don't want to jeopardize the happiness and the trust your wife and kids place into you. Given your age, your children are still young and so is your spouse. Don't let a fantasy ruin your entire marriage and bring you to the edge of financial collapse.

2. Don't be a home wrecker by pursuing this childish dream of yours to be able to get closer to your boss. She too is in a relation and you should abstain from jeopardizing their marriage as well.

My assumption is that, despite your age, you have already started with your mid-life crisis and that you need to prove to yourself that you are still attractive.

Finally, stop making compliments to your boss because sooner or later, others will find out that you are trying to wiggle your way into her life and that may cause jealousies among your co-workers. Never get romantically involved with co-workers and even less with your boss.

[PrettyPriya]

I wasn’t so nice. It is Friday though so I should get a pass, right? 😞

[SueShe]

@PrettyPriya I was a little shocked by the choice of your words. But I blame it on the heat :-)

[PrettyPriya]

@SueShe Yes, very well said. I am blaming it on the heat now. Thank you. 🙂

[Darknut3]

Knowing all this and seeing her everyday, even today on my day off, feeling down in the dumps when she's not there, even wake up in the middle of the night thinking about her. I am writing this because I wanted to see if anybody here has or felt a similar experience and what do you do about such? You want them to know so bad you like them and you want to say something like hey you look devastatingly gorgeous today without it being inappropriate, but you can't because there is way too much on the line, and if wrong it would be catastrophic. We both have been at this place for quite some time. Yes I also know the employee boss stigma. I don’t see her as a person to go HR really, she seems like the person who would genuinely receive an compliment so Im not really worried about that, I just don’t want the wrong people finding out. I take all of these little things as signs of interest.

[SueShe]

Ok, now let's assume that everything works according to plan. What is the next step?

Do you tell your spouse you would like to have an affair?

The way I see it is that you are ready to make the jump but only if you get the approval of your spouse. You don't want to be seen as a cheater because if you get her blessing, then you are okay. The only other problem is how to convince your boss's husband to give her the okay as well...

[Darknut3]

So its sounding like he's already checked out and she has too.

[Darknut3]

her mom had passed away December of last year so she's been kind of in a funk i think. In the meantime I have been posting things on social media (and its locked down so only she can see the post) about various things in a way telling her more about me. she's actually likes my posts and comments. she's at one point said her husband doesn't do social media either. Im a quiet guy and never communicate much personal details to anyone and I hardly ever post. I pray all the time that if im the type of guy she wants i hoped that she would come the other 50 and just do it. When i was raised I always wanted to be with a person that had these qualities she has. The problem is i found her in my late 30s early 40s. well after the fact of all this.. it sucks.
Since the posts, i notice a lot of preening and fidgety behavior when talking with me that she doesn't do around anyone else. adjusting clothes, flipping hair touching hair over ear etc. can't stand still. Makes it point to ask me about questions on work she already knows the answer to but wanted a second set of eyes (thats happened 3 times this year)

[Darknut3]

sent me an email telling me that my mid year review was fantastic!! that she never had anyone give such great content before with a smiley face. in work situations always on my side when customer pushback happens and sometimes defending in a way. Here lately though, when i see her in the hall way she will greet me and really won't look at me like she used to. I ask how she's doing and she will always reply im doing great! When she does talk to me in longer time frames she will look kind of away while talking and when the end of her sentence she will look at and we lock eyes and i respond. She nods her head in agreement most times and responds in detail and smiling, turning her head quickly as if being caught quickly (maybe she can pickup on it) begins the figety behavior, fingers through hair. sometimes licking her lips.
fast forward to today.. I've been posting but she won't interact to them no matter how intriguing, but she will like or comment on others posts etc. i dont get it. hurts my feelings some not sure why.
I want to give her a Christmas card with a chilis giftcard (she told me she likes that place).
Her mom was a christian teacher and through out all this, i see what people write about her, how wonderful she was. I thought about wishing her a merry Christmas and some inspirational message in there followed by to 'continue to be the beautiful person you are' I must find away to convey that in the light of her moms legacy and at the same time be appropriate. I feel by saying that will sow another seed. I have been praying fervently to God that he water these seeds with his power. As a mere human I do not have those resources to do that. I patiently wait in faith.

[PrettyPriya]

I don’t even know where to start with this one. It is wrong on so many levels. You first are betraying your own marriage and family. Then, you are going to destroy another. For what reason are you doing this?

I just don’t understand it. I would like to think you are happily married, but that isn’t true if you are trying to plant the seed to your boss that she might like to date you if her marriage goes bad.

Good job. You have officially become an emotional cheater and huge creep.

[Darknut3]

I seen her in the cafeteria yesterday and I cautiously approached her as she was getting her food and ask ah what are you getting today she turned around real quick and sort of stammered and said oh yeah um I’m not sure yet then she asks me what will I be doing on my days off being friendly and she fidgets rocking back and forth blushing and huge pupils looking away and back often while talking. I was left the room and she says ‘enjoy your lunch I will talk to you later!’ all bubbly sounding.

[SueShe]

hat hat, have a pretzel. I just baked a new batch just for you.

[PrettyPriya]

@SueShe Why thank you and not a moment too soon. I have not had/made a pretzel in some time. I will certainly enjoy! As always, I wish you a happy upcoming week-end. 🙂

[SueShe]

Same to you. Have a refreshing jump into the pool. Enjoy your week-end as well :-)

[Darknut3]

So you hadn't ever had an interest in someone?

[In_Trance]

You explained it all in the first sentence.
Yes it is

[Wise4myage]

Maybe she just feels a certain connection with you?

[Darknut3]

the other day she came into the breakroom and was warming up food i then proceed to tell her what i had she was standing there and i opened with asking if she went to the concert we had in the area. She said no but she did attend a bon jovi one earlier in the year. Immediately that went onto another discussion about music and she opened up a lot about classic rock naming off songs she liked.

[Darknut3]

Then she mentions she went to the concert with her girlfriends her husbands never around it seems based on how she always talks about doing things. All this time she keeps flipping hair and running her hand in as to adjust it. Eye contact meets and she blushes all at the same time. I keep lookong directly in her eyes when that happens and she lingers too then looks away quick. She asks me what im doing tbe weekend. I say probably nothing. She says she's going to see a movie maverick. I said I've never seen the first. She excitely says what? Omg (my name) i can't believe youve never seen it! Stream it and when you do let me know.

[Darknut3]

Connection if only! I get so nervous. And at the same time always trying to want to be having conversations its weird.

[Darknut3]

She certainly can light up a room though, immediate butterflies and adrenaline!

[Guy13]

Holy Roller…

[Guy13]

See Ephesians 5. Her Dad will quiz you like you were in Guantanamo Bay…

[Guy13]

And, where I’m from Pastors are better shots 🎯 than most…mess with his daughter’s sacred union before God. You’re better served to KEEP YOUR DICK lock downed IN YOUR PANTS. God help you if that’s a Baptist Pastor Dad ✝️.

[Darknut3]

Her dad seems a like good guy like her too. Based off what i hear about him and on social media. He dont have to know all that and i feel of she was happy with this whole thing he would be too.