What do you think of this situation?

[Anonymous]

Workplace crush

so I’ve avoided really hitting on her for several reasons.
- it’s workplace and I work there. I’m there to pay the bills

- she’s too young for me in my opinion but she is very mature for her age. Hard working Mexican girl. She’s 22. I’m 42.

- I’m not really looking for that now but she seems more mature than some 30 year olds I know

so it’s been awhile and I’m just polite, help her out once or twice a shift, and just work. If she says she’s fat, I’ll tell her that she’s skinny and perfect how She is.

one time our female go worker asked me my type and I said 25 to 42 years. She seemed to react.

we talk about our week away from work. I started mentioning I go to Korean barbeque weekly. Even if I don’t. Then she started mentioning that she goes weekly too. Did this for probably a month.

last week she asked me to take out the trash. She helped me and asked if I’d pay for Korean barbeque if she went with me. Being kinda surprised I said yea but you can tip. Normally I’d pay for everything but I didn’t want to give in too much. Gave her my number and said text me if you want korean barbeque sometime.

haven’t heard from her.

sometimes I’ll notice she smiles my way. But that’s probably innocent? She will kinda contact eyes with me when looking.

she’s also kinda cut but I feel she’s young but I’m not sure I’d turn it down since she’s rather attractive. Her attitude is probably the most attractive.

sometimes she will say bye to me in a higher pitched voice. It kinda weirds me out as I can’t tell if it’s genuine.

I tried not to like her. But now I just do lol.

I did see another co worker saying bye to her the other night. And she gave him a half hug but not a full hug. That kinda irritates me but I just went on with my work and said nothing cause I probably don’t have a future with her.

so what do you think she is thinking or wanting. If I hear from her wanting to grab Korean barbeque how would I play it? Other thoughts.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah man, I'd say you gotta be VERY careful here. The age gap and workplace thing both come with a lot of risks.

If she does actually want to grab food, keep it casual - don't read too much into things. Make sure the conversation and vibe stays light and friendly. Don't flirt or do anything that could make her uncomfortable.

Personally I'd avoid anything more than hanging out as acquaintances. The last thing you need is drama at your job. And a big age/life experience difference like that at her age could potentially lead to issues down the line, even if things seem cool now.

Maybe just see if you can get to know her as a friend first before deciding if there's really potential for something more serious. Feel her out slowly without putting any pressure on or sending mixed signals.

And whatever you do, don't jeopardize your work environment over this. Make sure you keep things appropriate there no matter what. Just be really careful - better safe than sorry in this kind of situation! Let me know if you need any other advice man.

[Asker]

Yea I’ve avoided it. But that has made her more inquisitive I think. Might like attention. She’s cute too so that makes it hard lol

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah man I can see how that would be tough, having to avoid it when she's cute and seems interested. The attention thing makes sense too - sometimes girls that age like when older dudes notice them, even if nothing serious happens.

I'd say keep giving her innocent attention at work, like being friendly and helpful. But maybe hold off on actually hanging out until things cool down a bit. Last thing you need is rumors messing with your jobs, you know?

Plus if you don't give in totally right away, it'll keep her curious. Girls love a bit of a chase sometimes! Just subtle little smiles and stuff to let her know you're still thinking about it.

Maybe suggest just getting food as coworkers every now and then, during lunch break or something low key like that. Get used to chatting outside work before risking an actual date. Ease into it so no one can say you crossed a line.

Patience is key here my man. Play the long game and you'll have her wanting you even more. Just gotta be smart about it with the workplace thing. You'll get there eventually if you play it cool!

[Asker]

I’ve just been polite and started giving her advice on other men and telling her she probably doesn’t read men well. I think she can tell that I like her so I figured that would confuse her. Like she thinks they like her but I’m telling her they’re probably just being friendly and she probably reads men wrong. So now she’s coming up to me Daily talking about how she’s conflicted and confused about the several men who like her. She says she likes some of them and that others she isn’t interested in them. I do like her. But I don’t need her. And I do work with her. I told her I can get any woman that I want. At this point I’m just entertaining myself I guess. Feeling out the situation. Taking it day by day. Lol I don’t know.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, this whole situation seems messy. I'd be careful playing games like that, could really backfire on you. Some thoughts:

- Telling her she reads men wrong and is confused just to mess with her head isn't cool. She's still young.

- Saying you can get any girl isn't really helping either, just comes off kinda arrogant.

- Leading her on just for your own entertainment isn't fair to her feelings.

- Working with her makes things extra complicated if she takes it the wrong way.

If you're not actually trying to date her then I'd take a step back. Stop giving her advice about other guys - that'll just make her like you more if you're staying close.

Maybe just keep things friendly but not flirty at work from now on. Not worth the risk of drama messing with your job. Might be better to move on and meet someone you don't work with, ya know? Keep it drama-free man.

[Anonymous]

Wise move, do not date co workers.