My mental health and grades are ruining me, what should I do?

Anonymous
I'm a high school student doing grade 11 and I already feel like a failure and disappointment in life. I've been secretly struggling with my mental health for years now and this year has been my breaking point because my grades are getting effected big time. I have absolutely nobody to talk to and I failed my maths test reallyyyyy badly. Grade 11 iis a important year too. I have been well aware that I also base my self-worth on grades and with the fact that I've been failing this one important subject, I feel like my life is falling apart. Everytime I write a math exam I feel this huge panic over me. And I promise you I do practice and put effort, I really do, I've had sleepless nights for this, on the other hand the teacher moves way to fast for me. I grew up in a very Christian family and I'm taught to pray at times I feel like I'm down. I do pray but sometimes I feel like some situations require action too. My parents got me a really expensive tutor which I am really grateful for (but to them I'm not because I'm still failing the subject) I've asked them to switch me to different tutors but they seem to ignore me. I've asked them to stop sending me to that tutor because it's not working and they still don't listen. They keep complaining that I'm wasting their money. I've tried Youtube tutors but I get really distracted on devices so I prefer not to have any device. I've spoken to my parents about getting a psychologist but they said it's expensive and they have to pay for my extra lessons with my tutor (wish aren't even working) I feel as if my grades are more important than my health to them and I've gotten sick multiple times and lately I've been feeling like a risk to myself because I've been having suicidal thoughts. So this is me basically reaching out for help right now because I really don't know what to do anymore...
My mental health and grades are ruining me, what should I do?
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