How do you forgive yourself when you've done something unforgivable?

[NeverknowNeverTell]

I truly believe that I am my own worst enemy. I'm over to decades old an I haven't keep any of the promises I made to myself. I contently self sabotage and neglect my own life. I'm currently in college but I'm so self-loathing that I don't even allow myself to be successful. my grades and class performance has been decreasing every semester. it's truly taking a toll on me. and in my personal life I've done promiscuous things that I can't live down and disrespected myself countless times. I'm wondering how do I stop hatting myself so much that I ruin every good thing that I have. is their anyone out there who feels this way to.

[Changiis07]

Sometimes we have to grow through situations that when we look back we are hard on ourselves for but I take them as a lesson learned and growth opportunity to not do it again. We all make mistakes and it's not good to dwell on it but to move forward. I've done a lot of things in my past that I regret but also had to happen and now I am more careful

[NeverknowNeverTell]

I'm honestly just trying to figure out how I can change. I've though I could put myself in environments that will motivate me to do better but I still choose wrong. It's easy to say "oh I'll just let it go" until I remember how much it's hurting myself and others. I'm just tired of being disappointing

[ZXCwWRQWz]

How about becoming more accountable? Maybe you can find self-acceptance later along the way.

[NeverknowNeverTell]

how do I start taking accountability? apparently I don't know.
I've tried getting into a degree program that was more challenging and had bigger job opportunities than just fine arts. yet I'm still unmotivated and my grades just mediocre.
I though I'd be mature enough to date when I was an adult. but all I did was become a lowkey Instagram thot. I don't even allow myself to date anymore but I know that doesn't fix my behavior.
I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth so all I know how to do is manipulate and make art. It seems like I always just chose wrong.
How do I become a better person?

[ZXCwWRQWz]

That's a tough one and I'm pretty sure I'm a horrible teacher. But if I start with visual arts, your best art can also come when you stop trying to prove something and start trying to learn from the best artists around you.

You already have self-awareness though. So that's already accountable. It's just how you fix it. And sometimes I think you just have to have some fun. The most unpleasant people usually don't seem to be having that much fun. Maybe you need more fun and humor.

[jimmy2]

Not easy but best do it we all make mistakes