Would you encourage your current/future kids to go to college? And will you pay for it?

Question

My mom always told us that we didn’t have to go unless we wanted to. And she made it clear that she wasn’t paying. I wasn’t intending to but I worked hard in school, graduated at the top (the sal), and got a bunch of scholarships thrown at me. The school counselor was my biggest fan (still unsure why) but she was a nice lady and had secretly submitted applications for me to colleges. Thats still kinda sketch lmao. I found out on awards day when they started naming all the students who got scholarship offers. I rolled my eyes and decided to tune them out, but then had someone waving their hand in my face saying I was the recipient for the biggest academic award package (instead of the val).
Anyways, college was such a fckin waste since I wasn’t brave enough to choose what I really wanted. I got a 4 year degree but not much to show for it. I personally won’t pressure my kids into attending college, specifically a uni. But I would encourage them to pick a trade and attend a trade school. Or maybe they could to try out a 2 year junior college. I wouldn’t mind paying for those. But if they want to go to a uni, especially one thats like 20k+, then they’re going to have to bust their butt in HS like I did to get an academic (or athletic) scholarship. If they attend a school in whatever state we move to, then they have the option to live at home, but I for sure won’t be paying for a dorm. I refuse to be like my fam who feels their kid “owes” them for raising them. But get this, if the kid drops out of a school I paid for, then that will for sure be the one time they financially owe me. #FeelFreeToList

Would you encourage your current/future kids to go to college? And will you pay for it?

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

I was a college freshman in 1981-82. My tuition at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute was about $8400/year which was higher than most schools.

I didn't want my kids saddled with student debt and the slavery it entailed, so I ran a quick computation...

My tuition for 4 years would be about $50,000. Let's assume tuition went up $1000/year. That was still about 12% of an $8400 yearly tuition and 12% was far higher than the inflation rate then. So, to make the numbers round, let's assume in 20 years that the tuition for a 4-year degree would be $70,000. OK, that means I'd need to save $70,000 over the roughly 20 years my kid is alive before starting college. At a year roughly being 350 days, 20 years is 7000 days, so I'd have to save about $10/day, every day of the kid's life to pay for it so they'd have no student loans.

But, I quickly noticed each year my tuition went up - considerably faster than inflation. So I saw 40 years ago that my calculation wasn't going to work with the cost of tuition significantly outpacing the rate of inflation.

Unjustifiably so, I felt. That was a major reason why I chose not to have children.

I am smugly saddened to learn that I was correct 40 years ago and did the right thing all along.

This graphic illustrates. Look that the lowest point is 1980-81. Look also at the solid blue line; At $22,700/year in 2020-21, that's about 2.7 times what it was in 1980-81 even after adjusting for inflation. That's ridiculous.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/08/26/your-money/student-loan-forgiveness-debt.html

This is why Biden student debt limited-forgiveness plan is so important; kids today are saddled with a ridiculous amount of student debt that it is destroying their ability to get ahead in life... and this actually adversely affects the rest of the economy.

Unfortunately, after arguments in the US Supreme Court last week, it looks like the plan might get stricken down as an overreach by the Executive Branch. If that happens, then that's a strong rallying cry for Democrats to get the young vote in 2024. And considering the median age in the US is about 38 with most of those under 38 still having student debt, that's a lot of pissed-off voters needing some relief.

dragoblack · Accepted Answer

Pfft, no. I highly recommend trade jobs to any kid in high school. Trade jobs pay well and they are always requested, compared to college where most jobs will tell them "you're over qualified" because they only want to pay minimum wage. Plus trade jobs teach skills that will help them in other things in life like repairing their own stuff and possible hobbies. On another note, taking an apprenticeship gets you paid while learning instead of ending in debt

Bethany22 · Accepted Answer

I wish  my  guidance counselor was that nice to me! Yeah, I definitely don't want to be that parent who feels entitled that their kid owes them for "all they did for them", as everyone's love language is different, and making someone feel guilty because they're not appreciative of the way  they  were most comfortable in showing love is so covert narcissist. As for making them go to university, I wouldn't make them go, and I would make them pay for it since that may motivate them to work harder during their degree, as well as give them more motivation to choose a good balance between something they're motivated to study, and something that will get them a job after.

Anemone978 · Accepted Answer

I would encourage them to go... I want them to go places in life. I want them to become better than I ever could be, so they will have an easy life and feel good about themselves and their accomplishments... plus college is free in the UK so it's all good :P

21Cowboy21 · Answer

I would encourage my kids to either pursue trades, or go to university for medicine, nursing, dentistry, or engineering, or teaching - I don't see these professions being replaced by AI anytime soon.

Finance and Accounting are wonderful professions today but AI and computers may take over a lot of the demand in some of those sectors reducing the number of job openings in 50years+.

I would pay for their post secondary (if required for their profession they want to pursue) as a reimbursement only for max year of their program only (maybe 4-8 years depending on the length).

So they would have to demonstrate responsibility first by saving up $20,000 for their first year between grade 5-12, then when they are able to go to univeristy - the kid puts the cash up front for tution so they appreciate and respect the sacrifice they had to earn to get their - and they will (usually) work tremendously harder having earned it themselves rather than someone who is handed the ticket to be there without sacrifice. At the end of each year - say they have completed 10 courses/40, I would reimburse as the parent 1/10th the cost of tution + 1/10th room and board for each course they pass with A- or higher. If in the B's I'd only do half, and if C or less no reimbursement as that mark won't be useful in getting into med or dentistry so they'll likely have to re-take it.

If they get all A- or higher in each course (80%+) they will end up graduating debt free after the 6 years. Id do a yearly reimbursement / course after each year.

Guy13 · Answer

I am involved in a very supportive way which means from a distance with Leader in financials and policies with department of education with a homeschooling group. My deal for involvement, some five years ago, is that the sophomores mandatory school-op be technical school training in plumbing, electrical or heating and air. The technical institute agreed to participate and saw the value, both financial and student, in it. The admin there and teachers made exceptions for us and participated in a he/she has an aptitude for this assessment. The point is to get them a taste for each and an End Game if college is not affordable and they enjoy one. Ther's no games playing and couch sitting with these students.

Being a landlord, I have vendors that "owe me" and they agreed to take them out with their other apprentices. I write their 1000 to 10,000(on good Vendor month), checks. The return on the technical training verse costs blow away university. And two year degree can be ascertained, with a known history, there to saving 2 years of university cost. None of the parents complain now worse case being finishing homeschooling highschool and a having a jump on a trade if university is not the kid's thing.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Pfft no college is a joke it's just a breeding ground for propaganda and brainwashing the only thing that comes out of colleges these days are educated idiots who usually end up working at Walmart and Starbucks because the degree they sank all their money into can't get them a real job and has no earning potential

No instead I would encourage my kids go to a trade schools and or apprenticeships so they can get a real education learning things like engineering, mechanics, welding, etc that will actually secure them a job doing a skilled trade not just anyone can do, earn good money, with job stability and allow them to have a real future.

Not to mention trade schools are generally cheaper, quicker, provide on job schooling and training and can sometimes even secure you a job before you finish your schooling.

The cheaper part of it being important when you consider how many college students drop out because they find out hey I'm not interested in this college thing anymore.

With that being said I wouldn't take away their option of going to college they'd still get a choice in the matter but I'd be pushing for trade schools not colleges. And I certainty would not pay for a degree that has zero earning potential and no future.

Anonymous · Answer

I have 2 15 year olds. No they're not twins but they have different mammas.

1 of them of all the things I'm good at in this world, they picked the one mistake I made when I was near their age aka impregnating their mammas at a young age. He lives with me and now his girlfriend also lives under the same roof. I told him he has to finish high school and get himself a qualification to get ahead in life else he's gonna get a damn good ass kicking. The same goes for his girlfriend too since her parents kicked her out. Pay? I told him he better think carefully before asking me for that type of money because if I pay then I want to see a very high GPA as I'm not pissing away my hard earned money especially as his mamma ain't payin' a freakin red cent towards him.

My other 15 year old? She lives in Norway with her mamma, I see her once or twice per year and yes she mostly hates me so I keep a "one arms length" distance with her for the most part. However she knows if ever she wanted to come study in America then I'll definitely pay for her and I do encourage her to do well in school so she could someday get into a good college as the world is rapidly changing and in 10 years the jobs we know off today most likely won't exist any longer in its same way and more than likely the jobs that would pay well in the very near future hasn't been invented just yet.

chicosuave · Answer

no hell no. i wasted years going to college. i would tell them to go to a trade school where they are more likely to get hired from an employer then college. or they can just find a job and move up the latter with the years passing by while they are making money. also certifications are great. I work in IT and i got a 60 k job with only a single certification that only took 4 classes and im earning more then a regular college grad. once i get more experience from my job i can easily move up to a 80 to 100 k job a year. so no college is a scam and a joke with most degrees. i think with college if you need to be a doctor a nurse or an engineer then yes college is important.

Rosexøxø · Answer

I’d just show them their options and let them decide. I’d probably recommend the one to be most beneficial, but I wouldn’t force them in any way.

You sound like you’d make a great mom, Desii! ☺️👐✨

Leading them, and the world, by glorious and graceful storm. ☔️ ✨ 🌸 ⚡️

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I'd encourage them to but at their expense. Parents don't need to pay for their adult children to do anything. They are adults and chances are the kids pushed like hell through their teenage years to become adults to have all the rights, freedoms and responsibilities of it.

Plus certain degrees get grants and scholarships easy enough, right now teachers are big here, due to lack of teachers. One could get a free ride to become a school teacher.

Pick a degree in high demand and you can get it low cost or free, either way it is their choice if they want to go and what they want to get a degree in and how they will pay for it.

RavVid · Answer

I would want them to but for a degree that qualifies them to a reasonable paying profession. I'm sure it is nice to read sagas in original old Icelandic but I'm not contributing to that shit.

It can be quite hard for an 18 yo to decide what they want to study and something that sounds interesting can turn out otherwise. So I get your experience - I took a turn after getting the degree to IT.

Not so sure on the trades as physique can be important and a lot of tradies start saying they need to get off the tools at about 40.

DubiousIntentions · Answer

College is super expensive today. That is why everyone has thousands of dollars in student loans for degrees in things like Fast Food Order Taking, with a minor in Ducking objects customers throw at you. In the old days students worked their way through college by waiting tables or working at Disneyland. About all they can afford to do now is party their way through Clown College, and not realizing that all the circuses are out of business. You know things are bad when you need a degree to get a job as Ronald McDonald.

Rab1901 · Answer

Your school counselor def got involved in some shady business. I don't think college is necessary at all especially if you don't know what you're gonna do in life, and work experience seems to be way more valuable, but then again, it depends because of what route the kids want to go. It might be best to go to college if he/she has a certain passion but I certainly won't push it. Paying? damnn I don't know but I don't think I will unless I somehow make a lot more money in the next 2 decades

ChillaxingLove · Answer

From my experience it’s important for them to already know what they want before they leave high school. If their career path leads them to need college I would encourage them to go for it. But if it they don’t need college skip it and go after the career. College is a scam if you go after the wrong degree. There is a lot of useless degrees that are just for head knowledge nothing else. Some careers need skill more than head knowledge, and some need both or just experience. High school is where you practice you chosen career and build.

Mangospacho · Answer

I would play it by ear, at this point. Employees are starting to figure out they can get decent employees who don’t have four year degrees so that is starting to bring down the value of a college degree while the cost to get the degree is growing sky high.

goaded · Answer

Both of mine are in university, and we'll be paying for their education because we're very privileged (not stinking rich, but well enough off with a good income). They'll be free of debt when they finish, same as we were.

They've both chosen courses they're really interested in, and the elder did a vocational course and got an associated job during the pandemic that will cover part of her degree requirements for work experience.

This part of Germany has free tuition, the other one's moved to a place that doesn't (to put it mildly).

RockyHammock · Answer

I will let them chose, but offer to cover food and board. The idea of college is something I love, I even have 3 degrees. College however has significant issues. The most protruding one in my mind is relevance.

College courses are amazing at teaching, but they teach subject from a historical perspective. This issue becomes apparent when college kids cannot smoothly transition to a job. For me, after I graduated I had to then take additional courses more specialized for industry work to be competitive for the jobs i was applying at.

I dont regret it though, since college is about much more than job prep.

msc545 · Answer

If we can manage to get at least a four year degree they're going to make about a million dollars more over their lifetime than they would otherwise. If they can manage to not only get a four-year degree but also to get a six or eight year degree they will make several million dollars more than that over their entire lives. more importantly, with any of these degrees they will be educated which gives them a huge advantage in life as far as I'm concerned and not just in terms of money.

People without a college degree like to believe that they're educated but in fact they are not. A college degree provides entry to what I can only describe as a better class of people.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

A graduate degree is really important in India for a sustainable job at the very least.

But your job and salary heavily depends on the place you graduated from.

Luckily (or by my efforts, should I say), I am about to graduate from a pretty well branded college. That counts something. If I try hard enough, I will get a seven figure job like that.

So yes, a graduate degree is really good. I am inclined towards finance. But the medical and technical sides are also amazing.

Haha456 · Answer

a college degree is still required if you want to become a nurse, doctor, teacher, school principal, physical therapist, CPA (accountant), CFA, pharmacist.

just be careful about saying college is useless. Because reality is, there will be a ton of jobs that will be off limits to you if you do not have a degree.

AviatorTom · Answer

All three of my kids went to college, and they paid their way. The agreement their mother and I had is that we would pay for room and board, they would pay for tuition, books, etc. They all did that, and have nice careers now. We're very proud of them.

A person who pays for their education has a stake in it, and works to get their money's worth, not just party animals.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

My daughter is in college right now. I suggested she go and try something that interests her.

I've paid for part of it, but our deal was, she has to have a stake in it. She worked for a year before heading to college and she has to work in between to help pay.

If late teens are going to claim they are adults, then you have to treat them that way, and they have to behave like an adult, no more total free ride.

XHopelessRomanticX · Answer

I would want to encourage my children to learn a trade and gain experience in the workplace before considering university. Find something that they enjoy doing and can potentially live off of. My parents pushed me to go to university straight out of high school when I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. Sometimes a degree isn’t of much use in the workforce without experience.

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