Anxiety makes my life a disaster. What should I do?

Question

Hello everyone! I had anxiety and social anxiety since I was 16. I wasn't able to afford therapy so that was never an option for me, but I was always looking for better days and was trying to move on and push forward till two years ago when I started my new job. At first things were going great, but with time people started to make really bad remarks about my character and lack of good communication skills. I was trying to be positive about it but nothing really changed or helped. With time my anxiety got even worse and I was really struggling (and I am still today). Burnout was at it's worst point and I wasn't able to do my job properly. Till the day they fired me because of it. Now my life is completely falling out of tracks. I am trying to finally finish school and do something better about myself, but I am constantly tired and my motivation level are really low. People constantly talk about how stilupid I am for not making better decisions and that I am acting too childish. I am really trying, but someday even getting out of bed feels like a new challenge. I know I can't rely on my parents anymore, but I really need some rest, before I completely lose my mind. I really need help but I don't have the money or the proper f for me to make a change. What should I do?
P. S. Sorry for the bad English, it is not my first language.
Greetings from France

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with anxiety and social anxiety, and that it has had such a significant impact on your life. It's understandable that the negative remarks from your coworkers would have made things even worse.

It's important to remember that anxiety is a real condition that affects many people, and it's not a reflection of your character or worth as a person. It's also important to seek help and support when you're struggling, even if you can't afford therapy. There are many resources available online and in your community that can help.

Here are some suggestions for steps you can take to manage your anxiety and improve your overall well-being:

1. Practice self-care: Start by taking care of your basic needs, such as getting enough rest, eating healthy food, and engaging in regular physical activity. You can also try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to help reduce stress and anxiety.

2. Reach out for support: Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend, family member, or mentor, about what you're going through. You can also consider joining a support group for people with anxiety or seeking help from a mental health professional.

3. Challenge negative thoughts: Try to identify and challenge negative thoughts that contribute to your anxiety. Replace them with positive and realistic thoughts instead.

4. Set realistic goals: Start by setting small, achievable goals for yourself, and gradually work your way up to bigger goals. Celebrate your successes along the way.

5. Practice self-compassion: Be kind and compassionate to yourself, and don't beat yourself up for struggling with anxiety. It's a common condition that many people experience, and it's okay to ask for help.

Remember that recovery from anxiety takes time and effort, but it is possible. Don't give up hope, and keep taking steps towards better mental health and well-being.

Leapfrog00 · Accepted Answer

It sounds like you may have a social anxiety disorder. I have that, along with a severe panic disorder and acute anxiety. It can be crippling. There are medications you can take. You may need something for both anxiety and depression. I suffered from anxiety for years. It was so bad, I tried to take my own life once.

I'd see a therapist and see if they can set you up with a doctor who prescribes medications for anxiety. Are you afraid of people? Or places? You may even have agoraphobia. It's a fear of places. This can cause many problems in your social life. Do you have any friends you can talk to? From what you said, it doesn't sound like you have a good support system.

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

I think it’s fair to suggest medical advice as the pink anon did before me, but I would add (my own perspective):

Chew lots of gum (when eating our fight or flight response isn’t turned on or has difficulty doing so)

Ice baths/ cold showers (lowers anxiety and when you feel so cold psychologically anything later in the day is seemingly more bearable)

chamomile tea (calming effects)

classical music (calming and helps creative thinking)

hot showers/bath before bed (helps with depression)

melatonin before bed (helps for adequate rest)

any type of aroma therapy as extra (if you can afford it)

Either a medical dog, a small affordable pet, or a pet you’d like (for company)

Any food/sweet/herb that boosts mood or slows the heart rate a bit

A stress ball or a pin 🧷 to rub any tension out on

A journal or making voice notes each day to express how you feel or really what you’d like to do later in life (what you hope for/dream/ envision).

Doing a quick mini work out or walking outside each day for 30 minutes at the least. Fresh hair and walking in nature helps reduce stress levels.

Any time you can have audio of water. Water is calming. It’s part of our survival instincts so feeling we are nearby water is comforting/reassuring)

Any white/brown noise which also calms (helpful for sleep)

As for energy- drink more water. That’s always the important step. Try to eat healthier foods and/or take some health vitamins.

And for motivation- wake up earlier than needed for your responsibilities, and devote the START of your day doing fun things- like having enough time for a hike or listening to music or reading some books/ baking a cake.

Doing this will be enough to motivate you upwards and to continue throughout the day with a hopeful mood.

Try to seek a therapist who can help you combat and explain why your negative thoughts are unhelpful and some untrue, and how to replace that with positive thoughts/ and truths.

Best to you sis. 🙌💕💯

lightbulb27 · Answer

my step daughter is fairly high in anxiety, so I've seen this.

Meditate - as much as you can practicing being present and meditation is healing for the mind. you have to learn new patterns. Just learning techinques to breathe and reframe things so they aren't as big an issue, helps.

explore trauma therapy on your own, watch videos, learn. I suspect a lot of people with anxiety is relaed to early life traumas... find and resolve those traumas helps free the negative energy controlling.

Some of it may be your highly creative, imaginative and high processing mind. The problem is how your mind developed gives you strengths which aren't focused to good purposes yet. So learn to pray and redirect energies in a positive way. Go to church, find Christ and discover your spiritual giftings... e. g. the power to heal, etc..

We have relatives and friends in france, look forward to visiting this year.

Diet - pay attention to what you eat, some things may be triggres.

Turn off negative media and inputs, filter out negative relationships. You may be highly sensitive person (readup on that) or empathic, thus, you need to develop your inner strength before dealing with others negativity.

TooHot2Care · Answer

Hello Rose, so firstly: you are going to school, non?

You’re already making a good decision.

I assume you haven’t had much luck with men, or are too anxious to relish their advances, as an option for a young woman : (and I’m just being objective here), don’t have money? No problem, men that like you do and will be willing to pay for your breaks.

4 things I want you to do:

-Breathe, don’t panic. You’re a student, you’re finishing school and you aren’t giving yourself enough credit. Just take a breath and take several…. alright.

-write down 3 good things about yourself. If you can’t figure that out, think of yourself from the view of another person looking at you, what would that person say? Hi five yourself in the mirror afterward. (Trust me.)

-Focus on routine, if motivation is low and you need to get things done? Your only option is to routinely do the hard thing at a certain time of day. Google what is called “pomodoro method” and reward yourself after each time block. (I reward myself with candy after 15 minutes of studying.)

-Have a breakaway day that doesn’t require money. Pick a day during the week, maybe go hiking? Maybe go to the park? Maybe just walk around the city and relax? Just go out of the house and take in your environment, trust me…. That single day off will make the other 6 days of studying 300x more effective.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

I can relate. I do went to therapy though but it didn't do much. It got a but better than in high school though. I am fine to talk to 1-3 people but as soon as its more its really hard. Night clubs, parties or festivals are hell for me.

A big thing that drives the anxiety is overthinking. So for example if I say I plan on going to a party Friday in 3 weeks, there are 3 weeks of thinking about that party and imagining embarrassing scenarios. To sometimes prevent that, its better to take spontaneous decisions, so you can't think about it too much

stepyo99 · Answer

What are you anxious about? If there's specific things that you're anxious about, then addressing those would help. I don't know specifics for your situation so I can't offer specific advice.

For general anxiety relief, force yourself to spend time outdoors, get some exercise, eat healthy, get an appropriate amount (7-9 hours) of sleep, meditate, and accomplish at least one major task for the day, every day.

Count_de_Monte_Volo · Answer

Mental evaluation then medicine prescribed by a psychiatrist.

art84 · Answer

Deep breathing when you feel stressed out Try yoga as it helps with releasing stress Think positive thoughts

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Why are you having an anxiety? What are the reasons?
About that you can't rely on your parents anymore, maybe that's true, but loving parents do not care how long they support their girl, if i had a girl i'll raise her and support her as long as i'm living, i'd love to see her happy and support her, also encourage to be successful in life and to never listen to anyone who tries to bring her failure and sadness!

noohair · Answer

Healthcare for people with severe mental health problems in France. The best route for people with a recurring or severe mental health issue is to visit a Centre Médico-Psychologique (CMP) attached to a hospital, either directly or via your doctor. They cover people living in a specific geographical area and are free.

https://www.fondationdefrance.org/en/

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

How close are you to completing school? And what are you studying? This will affect my answer.

Avicenna · Answer

I don't see how you overcome this without some counseling.

Iron_Man · Answer

Don’t you have any clinics in France like they do in the USA where you can get free counseling or cheap counseling? Seek out a social worker to get help. How do you pay for your bills or do you live at home?

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

What about the "free universal healthcare" that Europe and Canada are always touting? You can't get counseling and therapy that way?

Anonymous · Answer

Seek some medical advice.

In_Trance · Answer

Therapy

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