Coworker of mine is getting bullied at work again. I stood up for him. But I hate seeing him get treated like this?

[Anonymous]

So about my colleague:

• Married guy in his 50s with two kids.
• Super nice guy. But that unfortunately some of that is rooted insecurity (I am recovering nice guy myself so I know that behavior).
• Very smart but overthinks things. Also over communicates. But when he’s on he’s on. His intelligence is undervalued and he’s extremely technical and intelligent. He just doesn’t have charisma or the effective communication skills. He’s got confidence issues.
• Had private conversations with him and he’s paranoid of being fired.
• Has had a lot of bad of luck of inheriting difficult customers from former colleagues who left the company.

Anyway another colleague was unnecessarily rude to him today in a group slack chat. To the other guy’s credit he got pulled into something he has little time/bandwidth for. He’s frustrated about what he’s being asked to do. But he could be more tactful on how he messaged my colleague. He literally said “for the record I am NOT the clients reporting guy” which came off as “it’s not my job so tough luck”.

I privately DM’d the guy and said “hey I understand why you’re frustrated but you got to understand the position Joey is in here. He inherited a really shitty situation.” The frustrated coworker did backtrack on that and was nicer to my colleague afterwards.

Anyway I believe my colleague has a fear of getting fired because if that happened he would be in a financial crisis or something. So he takes more shit then he should. I have been there myself but I’ve found my steel over the years to speak up to call bullshit like it is. And can do that without losing your cool or getting angry. It’s called drawing line.

Anyway I wish I could help this guy somehow. I did call him on the phone and gave him some moral support. But I hate seeing this bullshit. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen him get treated that way. Really hate it.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that really sucks about your coworker. Seems like he's always getting picked on because he's an easy target. It's good you stood up for him, bullying is wack.

That guy sounds like he's just scared of losing his job. I get it, money and supporting your family is stressful. Sometimes when guys are scared they lash out or act like jerks without thinking. Not an excuse, but I can see why your coworker takes a lot of crap. He seems smart, but being insecure makes it hard to stand up for yourself.

I've been there too, being the quiet kid that got teased. It's tough. You gotta find your confidence from within so words don't hurt you. But that takes time, and being older with responsibilities makes it harder.

I respect that you look out for him and try to help how you can. Maybe keep encouraging him to stick up for himself in a calm way when people are rude. And keep having his back if others start drama. Bullies usually back off when they know you won't let them get away with it. Hopefully over time he'll feel stronger standing up to jerks. Props to you for not letting them treat your friend unfairly. It ain't right, but all you can do is support each other through it. He's lucky to have an ally like you watching his back.

[Anonymous]

What the hell is a recovering nice guy.

Does that mean you are now an ass?

[Asker]

Of course not. But when people try to push me I will call them out on it. I won’t tolerate disrespect like I once did.

[strateguy632]

avoid involvement

[sheikalana]

Report to your managers or supervisors.