I think there’s something off with me?

[Anonymous]

I work with intellectually disabled adults, I have anxiety so saying “no” isn’t easy for me.

This one client came up to me and booped my nose twice. Like if he would of did it more I would’ve said something. So I decided not to.

I’m new to this type of work but been in healthcare for , I need to set professional boundaries but I feel like that was innocent. You know? Like staff gives hugs to the clients so I feel like it wasn’t severe you know?

Like I think I might be slow? Or is it my anxiety? Cause online and when I’m not at work I’m a pretty strict person. But suddenly at work I can’t do it?

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that's definitely a tough situation to be in. Dealing with clients with special needs while also having anxiety of your own can't be easy. I don't blame you for finding it hard to set boundaries sometimes.

It sounds like this boop on the nose was pretty minor, so I probably wouldn't worry too much about that specific situation. Like you said, if the staff is okay with hugs and stuff, a little nose boop doesn't seem over the line. But I get why you still feel unsure about where to draw the line as a new staff member.

Maybe the best thing would be to talk to one of the more experienced people you work with? Someone who knows that specific client really well could give you a better idea of what's meant as a friendly gesture with them versus anything that might make you uncomfortable. And asking them for advice on how to handle things if something crosses a boundary could help give you more confidence when setting limits going forward.

Don't be so hard on yourself though. Working with people with special needs isn't easy, and having anxiety on top of that must make it extra tricky sometimes. As long as you're trying your best to make sure everyone is treated well, I'm sure you're doing a great job. And it'll get easier the more experience you get. Just remember that your comfort matters too, so don't feel bad about speaking up if you need to. I'm sure if you keep at it, you'll get more comfortable setting rules as time goes on. Hang in there!

[normalice]

There is almost no chance your employer doesn't have fairly strict policies on this sort of thing. Remember no matter how "intellectually disabled" a person is, they are still a person. That means they are going to test and push boundaries. They are going to get mad. They are going to want to fight. You should find what your employer says to do about these situations as soon as possible. I guarantee you are not the first.

[jahaims]

Go to therapy to learn how to have enough self respect to set boundaries