Have you ever felt like a failure when it comes to work?

Question

I learned something new at work today and I can't seem to grasp it so I feel like such a failure and it's really bringing me down. 😢

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

They probably didn't explain it properly.

I'm a software engineer.

One job I worked on, we joined a project for which there were shelves (yes, paper!) full of requirements and acronyms for everything, DRAT, FREN, whatever. We spent weeks reading through them, not getting it, until one day we came across a single slide describing the system in a picture and suddenly everything made sense, we knew what we were supposed to be doing.

You'll work it out.

In another job, I was supposed to maintain some code that was really, really, terrible (like half the functions had the very same programming error, literally all of them were needlessly inefficient, none were properly tested, and they were split up to match an idea of what good code should supposedly look like, even though it made them less readable). I was also told to make very few changes because it was "working".

I quit.

When I was much younger than that I worked in a small company and got put in the UI department while the other department was doing the important work and getting it wrong in important ways (through ignorance, not stupidity). That one drove me to tears, because I thought I couldn't quit because I'd only stayed at the previous job for a year (they'd basically lied to me in the interview and the job wasn't what they'd described).

Life has its ups and downs. I'm sure you'll manage.

Still-alive · Accepted Answer

aww damn. the advice i can give you is don't look at failure as this terrible thing even though it feels like that. instead look at it as a necessary step to learning something new. I was also someone who felt 'if i fail at this then im a failure altogether' and thats not true at all. nor is it true for you. Just open yourself up to introspection, ask questions like 'what went wrong?' and 'how can i do better in the future?'

allow yourself the time and humility to go through the trials and tribulations... then eventually it'll hit you and you know the thing backwards and forwards.

So chins up! don't fret. Never give up and you got this ok? I believe in youuuu! <3

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

Honestly, one of my deepest fears is that my failure compounds upon itself.

I work a job that most consider to be worthless, making me a failure in the eyes of society. I could get a new job if I wanted to, but I don’t try because when I try there’s the potential for failure. So because I don’t try, I never fail, but I also never learn anything new because the best part of failure is how much you can learn from it, and that makes me even more of a failure.
So I stay in a job where the money is lacking and the work is easy because I’m afraid I would be an even worse failure if I left this job where I’m already deemed a failure because I barely make enough money to survive. And I do this because I’m afraid at how many challenges I would face and fail in a new job, even though failure and mistakes are perfectly normal and expected of everyone.
I’m trying to be better about it, but that fear is hard to get away from.

7Phoenix7 · Accepted Answer

I’ve definitely felt that way before… especially when something should make sense but just doesn’t yet..

But every time I stuck with it, it eventually clicked… so try not to be too hard on yourself.

Advisor Smith · Accepted Answer

Yes, many times—especially early in my career, even during my MBA.

Struggling with something new doesn’t mean you’re a failure; it means you’re *learning at your limits*, which is exactly where growth happens.

A few practical steps I use myself:
- Break the new skill into tiny steps and master one at a time.
- Ask a colleague, “Can I walk you through what I understand and where I’m stuck?”
- Give it a few days; repetition turns confusion into clarity.

Your struggle today is evidence of progress, not proof of inadequacy.

NathanDavis · Answer

nope...

even when something was difficult or maybe impossible, or too much I would not see things as a failure... trying is not a failure, struggle is not a failure, LEARNING new things is definitely not a failure, this is just the process towards success, sometimes

the most recent struggle I had with something, was something I had to deal with for half the day, lol... looked it up, even asked some who knew better, and after all of that... no progress at all

I was fed-up with it, I just dropped it

I didn't think of failure, I didn't feel like I failed... I had not solved it yet

YET...

next day, different day, different mood... slightly different approach

first try on the next day, it worked... it fixed the thing, lmao

TsundereMatrix · Answer

Yeah. I’m a slow learner so most of the time I struggle to learn some things and if I have the right people around me I can learn fast. Thats what it was like in my first full time job in my dream industry. I got hired with little experience and the manager and higher ups I had were great. I learned quite fast in the first year. The second year is when it all went downhill. My manager moved on, the higher ups I liked moved on and they all got replaced. It was harder to learn from them. Eventually I was let go after that second year because they said I was “a weak employee” felt like a failed. But I found out later from the coworkers I stayed in contact with that many of them left due to a toxic management and work environment so it actually wasn’t my fault like my higher ups made it out to be.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

For sure… but I don’t like it bother me. Like I am teaching a new grade (kindergarten) my new supervisor gave me all developing for the 20 minutes while she was in my room.
last yr. in first grade I was all excellent. With a different supervisor.
that’s why merit pay doesn’t work as an incentive.
so I don’t care what the paper says… I love teaching my students that’s all it matters.

ohsheeT · Answer

No when I come up across something that makes me think hard I just kind of take it as a challenge and it's usually right in front of my face is it something on your computer or is it something in your inventory I would probably be lost too LOL I would say I would help you but I don't know if you do

Levin · Answer

People just have off days. I have days where I can't get my head around something. Give it a night's sleep and your brain somehow figures it out. Stop thinking about it and over-relax. Probably part of your problem is over-thinking. Your brain becomes a bit stupid, paradoxically, if it's going off all the time.

Long story short, take a chill pill.

exitseven · Answer

I did once and I almost quit. My boss told me that nobody expected me to have it all figured out the first week. He told me to give it a few weeks. So a few weeks go by and I am running the whole lab by myself.

You will grasp whatever it is that you need to grasp.

Phoenix98 · Answer

At my previous job I had moments like that but also I was a machinist making precision machine parts so there was some pretty complicated math involved that was difficult for even the guys who had been there for years which made me feel a bit better about it.

Tomislav7 · Answer

No i feel competent to learn and execute most anything. I fear responsibility and assertiveness. Any job I've had i was respected for my labor but despised for my behavior? Not sure I just get called f***** but there's other gays not harassed so really lost

RandomGirl42 · Answer

I'm sorry u feel that way but like others have said, please, don't be too hard on yourself. 💖 I mean, look at me, I work for my parents 'cuz that's about the only place I wouldn't get fired! 🤣

KostasKouvalis · Answer

Not really, 'cuz everyone else was having the same problems. I was actually one of the more competent workers. The only problem is I like to do things my own way and I don't like to follow rules

Spencer10 · Answer

For a very short period of time. Failure is part of life. I embrace it... shows I am trying at least.

sage2021 · Answer

Nope! Everytime I had something hard to do that came across my desk, somehow I just figured it out.

beenherebefore · Answer

Yes, especially when I was younger and new in the work field.

Sinanpy · Answer

Yes, there was an inventory count one day at my workplace and my warehouse was very short. I was incredibly embarrassed and felt like a complete failure.

msc545 · Answer

I once felt like a failure in the school, and it was a terrible feeling, but it was a long time ago and it lasted only for one semester and one class. I have never felt like a failure at work.

Shiprex · Answer

Yes, often tbh because I tend to dwell on the things I could have done better

MrChinaski · Answer

Not at work. But in study, yes. I faked my way through general relativity.

Iron_Man · Answer

we all have bad days and we get insecure, but we have to overcome adjust an adapt and get back on the horse and get after it

najekim · Answer

Learning something new can be challenging. Especially if it contradicts the way you been doing your job for years. No big deal.

dudeinohio · Answer

In the past I have... but fortunately, I feel pretty confident now.

Mike_Hum · Answer

You didn't fail, you just found some ways it doesn't work.

Jeff51 · Answer

No. If I did feel that I should step down as a manager.

jazzy34 · Answer

Did you ask for help?

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

Never. Don't let it get to you. If at first you don't succeed, try again

Jennz6 · Answer

Not really, cuz I’m quite good at my job

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Yes, pretty much every day.

Slim57 · Answer

Yeah work, everything

Xawyx-2 · Answer

Several times, long time ago.

Grond21 · Answer

All the time

Have you ever felt like a failure when it comes to work?

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