If you haven’t watched either of the Legally Blonde movies recently, you're missing out. Both of the Legally Blonde movies are about a stereotypically airheaded blonde sorority girl who enrolls in Harvard Law school. She surprises everyone when she kicks ass in her career and her life. While being both witty and funny although the sequel wasn't as good as the first, they provide an unexpected commentary on sexism and discrimination, even if it's filtered through a pretty white girl lens. It’s actually based on novelist Amanda Brown’s actual experiences as a Harvard Law student. And remember that if Elle Woods has taught us anything, it's that you must go through the Elle Woods crying alone in a playboy bunny costume phase to get to the Elle Woods kicking ass in her career and life.
1. Hi. I’m Elle Woods and this is Bruiser Woods. We’re both Gemini vegetarians.
2. Professor Callahan: Would you rather have a client who committed a crime malum in se or malum prohibitum?
Elle: Neither.
Professor Callahan: And why’s that?
Elle: I would rather have a client who’s innocent.
3. Elle: I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life. (someone whistles at her) I object!
4. Warner: You got into Harvard Law?
Elle: What? Like, it’s hard?
5. I'll show you how valuable Elle Woods can be.
6. Elle: Paulette, I taught Bruiser to shop online, I think I can handle congress.
7. Elle: Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.
8. Professor Callahan: Do you have a resume?
Elle: Here it is!
Professor Callahan: It’s pink.
Elle: Oh! And it’s scented! I think it gives it a little something extra, don’t you think?
9. Elle: I worked so hard to get into law school. I blew off Greek week to study for the LSATs. I even hired a Coppola to direct my admissions video.
10. Elle: This is the type of girl Warner wants to marry. This is what I need to become to be serious.
Old Lady: What? Practically deformed?
Elle: No, a law student.
11. Elle: For that matter, any masturbatory emissions, where the sperm is clearly not seeking an egg, could be termed reckless abandonment.
12. Elle: Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.
13. Elle Woods: Exactly. Because isn't the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you're forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the immonium thygocolate?
Elle Woods: And wouldn't somebody who had, say, 30 perms before in their life be well aware of this rule, and if in fact you weren't washing your hair as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still intact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot, and if in fact you had heard the gunshot Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which means you would have had to found Brooke Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible, isn't that right?
14. I've been waiting for a long time for you to say that. But if I'm going to be a partner in a law firm by the time I'm 30, I need a boyfriend who's not such a complete bonehead.
15. On my very first day at Harvard, a very wise professor quoted Aristotle, "the law is reason free from passion!" Well, no offense to Aristotle, but in my three years at Harvard, I have come to find passion is the key ingredient to the study and practice of law, and of life. It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world. Remembering that first impressions are not always correct, you must always have faith in people, and most importantly you must always have faith in yourself. Congratulations Class of 2004, (high pitched squeal) we did it!
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