Entertainment & Arts

Why Didn't the Chicken Cross the Road?

Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

Why Didnt the Chicken Cross the Road?

Well, let me tell you about this chicken. This chicken was no ordinary chicken. This was a noble chicken descended down from a lineage of some of the finest chickens that ever lived. It walked with its sexy tail held high and made the most elegant of noses through its sexy beak.

By God, this was a fine chicken. This is the type of chicken where, if you were a chicken fucker, you would spend your whole life savings for a night with this chicken and not regret a single penny. This chicken was on a whole new level; it's like a chicken that came from a parallel dimension where everything is greater than everything here on earth.

And the chicken's owner was no ordinary schmuck. His name was Bob and Bob -- who owned this chicken of all chickens -- was a four-time Nobel prize winner with nine Olympic gold medals. It's a question for the philosophers to contemplate indefinitely as to whether Bob was lucky to have his chicken or if his chicken was lucky to have him.

Why Didnt the Chicken Cross the Road?

But one day the chicken escaped from its farm. It didn't regret its life on the farm or Bob as a most wonderful owner but its curiosity got the better of it. It wanted to see the world; it wanted to broaden its horizons. After all, this was no ordinary chicken; this was a chicken with a thirst for adventure and hunger to see the world.

And the chicken's world expanded exponentially all of a sudden. It was exposed to cars, airplanes, computers, mobile phones, the internet, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pornhub, Netflix, Call of Duty, Girls Ask Guys, turtles, Goths, lingerie, transsexuals, Starbucks, reality television. There was so much to see and so much to learn and the chicken felt overwhelmed by it all. Yet now its eyes were open.

Why Didnt the Chicken Cross the Road?

And the chicken was no longer the naive, innocent chicken living on a farm as it once was. It was a new chicken forever changed by its exposure to this new world. The chicken sometimes reminisced about being so clueless about the world; it couldn't help but feel like its life was far simpler back then.

Then the chicken came across a road.

Why Didnt the Chicken Cross the Road?

Should it cross the world and push on with its new life? Or should it return to the farm and try to live that type of life again even though it knows -- in its heart of hearts -- that things will never be the same? The chicken thought and thought and thought about this.

And it decided not to cross that road. It decided not to get to the other side. As much as it was tempting to cross the road, the chicken could not cross it. In the end, it could not cross it even if it wanted to, because it wasn't meant to cross that road; that road wasn't meant to be crossed by this chicken.

Because, you know, it chickened out.

Why Didn't the Chicken Cross the Road?
Post Opinion