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Why I, BCRanger10, should lead the fight against the aliens

I know what you're thinking. "It's now August 2nd, BCR! Independence Day was a month ago! Isn't it a bit late for..."

Why, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, DEAR READER, for pointing that out! It IS in fact too late.

"I...I didn't say it's TOO late, just that..."

FOR ONE THING...as a matter of historical fact, July 4th was the date that the final text for the Declaration of Independence was formally adopted by Congress. The majority of the signatures were delivered on...wait for it...August 2, 1776! So really, I could keep these shenanigans up until then. But I digress...

For another, General William Grey warned on July 3rd that "in the time it takes to destroy a city and move on, you're looking at the worldwide destruction of every major city in the next 36 hours." So by July 5th or 6th, all the world's major cities are in ruins and the aliens have dispatched their invasion forces throughout the world.

And it's ALL because some world-hating fiends on G@G didn't pick the right guy from among their ranks to lead them.

See? Even President Whitemore looks disappointed in you!
See? Even President Whitemore looks disappointed in you!

So without further ado, when in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one nation to stand up against some space quids who flew 90 billion lightyears to start a fight, I submit my case for why I, BCRanger10, should be the American G@Ger to save the world from the aliens.

And it goes without saying, but...

Why I, BCRanger10, should lead the fight against the aliens

1) Having been a moderator on G@G since 2014, I can clearly be trusted for objective, firm, and mature leadership and influence. Plus, I was made a mod by...waitforitwaitforitwaitforitwaitforitwaitforit...a community vote! So, President? CHECK!

2) Okay, I’m not a retired fighter pilot. BUT – hear me out – I did learn how to fly an airplane before I learned how to drive a car (Boy Scouts, aviation merit badge, 2002). As of this writing, I am also skilled in operating heavy machinery at work. And lastly...Flight Simulator, Star Wars: X-Wing vs. TIE Fighter, Star Wars: Rogue Squadron, StarFox 64, Wing Commander: Prophecy, and of course, THE OFFICIAL INDEPENDENCE DAY COMPUTER GAME! All of these are games that I...OWNED as a kid. So, more than likely skilled and reliable in aerial combat? CHECK!

3) As a veteran Star Craft player, former warehouse inventory worker, and former purchasing agent, I could be very well counted on to develop a battle plan and effectively determine the allocation and placement of personnel and resources.

4) "Oh come on, BCR! Those are video games, not real life" Yes, I know. BUT I'm a very quick study. About a month after I took my job as a purchasing agent, my wife went to the hospital for pregnancy difficulties. My employer however felt confident and comfortable enough with what I'd learned that they allowed me to work remotely so I could tend to my son while also fulfilling my work obligations. And they also asked me to briefly return to my previous manufacturing role to help fill in gaps in personnel and keep things on schedule and did so with minimal assistance and correction. Quick learner and re-learner? CHECK!

5) I have experience dealing with unwanted, unwelcomed invaders hellbent on ruining our way of life. I have vocally and mercilessly opposed the AI bots that no one wanted, no one asked for, serve no useful purpose here whatsoever, and are all around just nuisances. In my attempts to make a statement, I deleted every AI post I saw and froze their accounts every time I saw them, causing my moderation success rate to suffer QUITE significantly. So, resisting unwelcomed invaders? CHECK!

"But they're still here..."

...It took us a minute to figure out how to defeat the aliens, and we suffered great losses. Have SOME patience!

6) Whether you agree with me or not, whether you like me or not, if you see the things I post here, you can’t deny that I don’t at least put some serious thought into what I tell people. You can most certainly count on a rousing battle speech. Inspirational battle speech? CHECK!

And with that, I rest my case.

Admit it. Youd really want this to be me when it came time to fight those dirty green b@st@rds...
Admit it. You'd really want this to be me when it came time to fight those dirty green b@st@rds...

Admittedly, there’s probably not much reasoning that can be done with such poor souls. Zese same people vould probably also vant ze Nazis to find ze Ark of ze Kowanent.

"Germans don’t pronounce a V like a W in English. That’s how Pol…"

DON’T CARE!

They probably rooted for Mugatu to manipulate Derek Zoolander against the prime minister of Malaysia, cheered at the fate of Daisy Wick, believe Kathleen Kennedy to be a creative genius and master, demanded we give up after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, and worst of all? They probably thought that the sequel to Independence Day, that being Independence Day: Resurgence, was a cinematic masterpiece. And truthfully, I can't tell which villain is worse: the aliens from the 1996 original which Resurgence parodies or Resurgence itself.

However, far be it from me to go quietly into the night or to vanish without a fight. But even if after all this, you world-hating schlemiels would rather sit there and watch your beloved cities and neighborhoods get reduced to rubble and ash, well...I guess I don’t know what to tell you. It's not without precedent. After all, a whopping ONE PERSON said he'd ask me to join him on his fantasy quest.

Anyway, I hope you had fun reading this, that I got...A chuckle or two, I guess. If I did, know that this is me right now to you...

Why I, BCRanger10, should lead the fight against the aliens
Why I, BCRanger10, should lead the fight against the aliens
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