Aliens & Government Conspiracies

Did you know the government is hiding secrets from you? Mind boggling terrifying secrets that if revealed will completely discredit the government and topple the very economy itself. I have been working hard in my underground secret hideout in order to hack into the governments secret files in order to find out the truth and you won't believe the shit that I found.

Aliens & Government Conspiracies

Are Aliens Gay?

Why do you think aliens like probing your butt and smelling your farts while you're unconcious that's right it's because they're gay. Statistics show that 90% of abductees are infact males. In 1979 the same year when Ridley Scott's Alien came out two gay aliens were found crash landed in the Nevada desert. Makes you wonder why Area 51's located down there now doesn't it. Coincidence, I think not.

Ever since then reports of gay aliens crash landing on earth has muliplied by tenfolds. This shows a disturbing trend in the fact that most aliens might indeed be gay.

The Moon Isnโ€™t Real

Did you know the moon is just a hologram and that they're hiding an alien spaceship behind it. That's right the government is secretly harboring alien fugitives right behind our moon or at least what we thought was the moon. The moon landing was just a bull crap used as a cover up for the real astronauts meeting with the aliens so they can make a deal for exchanging our farts as fuel.

Dinosaurs Helped Build The Pyramids

That's right you read it correctly, I said dinosaurs. Do you really think humans could build the pyramids with their tiny little hands. No way in hell. Dinosaurs and aliens plotted together to build the pyramids so they can trap humans in there and use it as a facility for harvesting farts.

TV personalities like Barney the Dinosaur has been used by the government to brainwash our children into believing that dinosaurs are actually good when they are infact evil.

Hitler's brain

Hitler's Brain is being kept alive inside of a jar forever plotting revenge. It currently resides next to Stalin's Brain in a private collection of evil living brains.

Yoga Is A Form Of Satanic Worship

Yoga is actually an evil practice designed to trick people into worshipping Satan. How else do you think people who do yoga get such perfect bodies, it's because they've sold their soul to the devil and now are forced to worship him for eternity.

Obama Can Control The Weather

Did you know that Obama has a weather machine with which he can control the weather. Damn right he does. When Obama was under pressure over the IRS scandal and Benghazi, his administration had a clever trick up its sleeve. To alleviate the heat, they used their top secret weather machine to create a tornado that devastated Oklahoma and destroyed the town of Moore.

Weeds in space

Scientists don't want you to know that if you drop weed from space it will burn in the atmosphere and make the whole world high.

Redheads Are Aliens!

Redheads are evolved from alien visitors from the Lyra constellation. Flame-headed, blue eyed aggressive giants, the Lyrans were constant visitors to Earth, where they sowed their wild seeds and created the Vikings amongst other races.

The Real Reason For Iraq Invasion

Did you know the Iraq War was actually started because the United States wanted access to Saddam Husseinโ€™s secret Stargate device.

That's right the Stargate was hidden away in a secret base near Al-Ouja, which he obtained after contacting an ancient alien race. Saddam was intending to use the Stargate to allow the race to invade Earth, but fortunately the New World Order decided to step in and prevent it. Saddam was also breeding giant mutant scorpions with which he planned to take over all the world's fast food chains so that fat people would become extinct but luckily for us the U.S. managed to stop him.

Lizard people run the world

The world is secretly being run by shape-shifting reptilian aliens, who are manipulating everything from behind the scenes. Key reptilians include Queen Elizabeth II and Barack Obama, who are both blood-drinking humanoids from the Alpha Dragonis system.

The matrix is real

The machines have taken over the world and people have been reduced to inanimate blobs jacked up to computers who runs their lives completely. People get their self image boosted by digital interaction so that they finally lose all self perspecitve about who they really are.

Science is a load of crap

Science is all one big conspiracy formulated by Satanist-athiest Charles Darwin to destroy Christianity. Scientists don't actually do research in their labs, they just worship Satan, eat babies, invent new lies and sodomize eachother all day.

Animal extinction is a lie

Scientists report that many animal populations have dropped due to polution, man taking their land, etc. ! This is what the animals want you to think ! Those missing animals are actually in hidden lairs amassing weapons, collecting intelligence on their enemy (MAN), and getting combat training so they can take over the world one day.

You may think that I am crazy or paranoid but I'm not. The government will do anything to protect these secrets from the public and will stop at nothing to make sure of it.


IamNuts is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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  • You forgot to add there is underground prison and city installed under Denver international airport โ˜บ๏ธ


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  • you are such a fucking awesome nut.. haha.. you wrote this for me.. so touching.. <3

  • Aliens are real though. ๐Ÿ‘€ no one is safe in 2039

  • You're right it's all aliens, aliens everywhere ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ‘ฝ #WTF