HEY Link just opened a chest. What new item does he find inside?

[Still-alive]

What exciting new item does Link find in the chest? The Funniest and/or most creative answers gets mho!

[Dazed0N0Confused]

A chest full of sex toys & "outfits".

A magic "wand", an Egg, anal beads, dildos of various lengths & girths, vibrators, butt plugs of various sizes, a teddy, a bdsm mask, full latex body suit, a fox tail butt plug with matching ears, a cock ring, a ball gage, a collar with leash, a paddle, bed restraints, ropes, a flogger, a naughty nurse outfit, a naughty schoolgirl outfit, a pocket pussy, & so forth.

[Elliegirl]

Gwyneth Paltrow’s head 😱

[Still-alive]

ohh ok random lol

[Elliegirl]

Reference to Se7en

[Still-alive]

ahh ok lol. "whats in the boxxxxxx?"

[Elliegirl]

Exactly!

[God_of_Thunder]

"What's in the box?"

[Gwenhwyfar]

Gwyneth Paltrow giving head? 😊

[Elliegirl]

@Gwenhwyfar must be Link’s lucky day lol

[Gwenhwyfar]

😂😂😂

[Still-alive]

@Gwenhwyfar Link got tired of her preaching to him about her veganism sooo yeah :P

[Gwenhwyfar]

I bet she swallows if she really likes the guy 😊

[Elliegirl]

@Gwenhwyfar is she still considered vegan if she swallows cum?

[Gwenhwyfar]

Good question lol. I don't know.

What if she masturbates to orgasm then licks her wetness off her fingers?

[Still-alive]

@Gwenhwyfar ohh baby haha getting spicy

[Gwenhwyfar]

Sorry lol. I need to be good.

[Still-alive]

@Gwenhwyfar you are being good in my opinion heh ;)

[TCredo]

@Gwenhwyfar hot thoughts in this thread ha :)

[Elliegirl]

@gwenhwyfar we’re being good. Just asking questions of nutritional ideologies lol

[Gwenhwyfar]

True lol

[dreamstar72]

He finds a scroll with a map to a dungeon. He follows the directions and finds Zaman, an old woman, who placed her hand on his shoulder. She tells him to close his eyes and to think hard for his most desired wish, but she tells him to be careful for what he wish for. He thinks for a few seconds, then he

[BeenThereLovedIt]

chest is stuffed with bags of weed and a snoop dog CD.

[Still-alive]

Excellent lol

[Varanus]

An oil painting of Princess Zelda having group sex with Princess Peach, Ganon and Bowser, and they all seem to be having a REALLY good time.

[Still-alive]

beautiful lol. of course link isn't in there. hmmm

[Agape93]

I’d actually buy that too. Why? Well, why not?

[NathanDavis]

these two

[Still-alive]

lol nice

[Smashingdoozy]

Cado in there crying over his precious cuccos next to Manny jerking into a jar of restless crickets for Prima.

👀

[Still-alive]

haha ok i had to look them up. breath of the wild characters. i remember Manny was kinda creepy right? lol

[Gwenhwyfar]

Five thousand catapults that go off in his face

@TabaxiMulticlass

[Still-alive]

hmm inside joke?

[Gwenhwyfar]

Not that inside lol. My friend created a magic item a case where when he opens it five thousand catapults blast whoever it’s pointed at. Takes like two months to recharge even at 20th level so it’s basically a one use item.

[Still-alive]

lol dungeons and dragons? i never made it that high in level :o

[Gwenhwyfar]

It’s amazing at the top 😊

[Aether1]

A bacon cheeseburger, I bet he's starving after all of that adventuring.

[Still-alive]

im sure he could use that... unless its spoiled!

[scentoflavender]

A hookshot. But instead of chains, it's anal beads.

[BlacklightShade]

He finds a game console with him as a character. This triggers an existential crisis when he finally understands that he was never real.

[clampfan101]

A Mimic!

[Feelicks]

A credit crumpled playboy with some stuck together pages.

[Feelicks]

Disregard credit, just my auto correct being mental

[420Rachel]

A giant dragon dildo.

[Still-alive]

ohh he could fuck gannon up with that :D

[420Rachel]

Literally 🤣

[Still-alive]

"Death by giant dildo" I hope isn't written on my tombstone :o

[NightHawk99]

Nothing. He only released a terrible force from the dark below.

[SaoirseS]

A copy of your renewed extended car warranty.

[Still-alive]

yessss he still has to sign it though smh

[SaoirseS]

Lol 😂

[SaoirseS]

I was going to say Natalee Holloway or Jimmy Hoffa but that would’ve been too cliche.

[Still-alive]

lol i still woulda chuckled

[SaoirseS]

😀😀😀😀

[Still-alive]

didn't remember the natalee chick. and yeah i remember that face now lol

[God_of_Thunder]

A clay pot!

Link immediately smashes it.

[Still-alive]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmPhaG1ud38

[God_of_Thunder]

There's a Monty Python for every conceivable moment 😂

[Neko911]

Another box... And he's legit not happy with that

[Still-alive]

ohhh damn. he's gonna go on a moblin killing rampage

[karaspara]

My lost underwear can't all be the washing machine

[Still-alive]

Hmmm he might be a panty sniffer :o

[karaspara]

Who my fucking cat 😂 suspicious looking bastard to be fair 😉

[Nazgol]

Chocolate milk sushi or popcorn

[Still-alive]

Heck yes!

[Astarlessnightsky]

Another, smaller chest.

[Agape93]

A Minecraft trap chest. Boom!

[electromagnetic]

iPhones.

[Still-alive]

Like more than one? Lol

[electromagnetic]

Like a chess of all the dead apple products since iPhone 2G

[Cherry234]

1000 gold bars

[Still-alive]

ohh shiny... but heavy as hell to carry lol

[JosyJosy]

An instrument

[Still-alive]

Which one? an ocarina perhaps? 🤔

[JosyJosy]

Harp. I'm in the mood for some harp right now. It better be a harp.

[Still-alive]

Lol alright. I think it was one of the instruments in Links Awakening

[EssenceOfLight]

Excalibur sword that kill every mob with one hit.

[Massageman]

Extra bombs.

[Still-alive]

sweet!

[pink_and_inlove]

A unicorn

[Still-alive]

That would be cool if his horse Epona like turned into a unicorn for one game lol

[Miah02]

He finds me.

[goaded]

Trousers?

[Slim57]

A handgun

[Still-alive]

gangsta link

[little_rose]

Some pussy

[SupremeWarlord]

Zelda's porn.

[OddBeMe]

Is that Peter pan?