Do spotted hyenas deserve their own horror movie or not?

[TomGarand]

Welcome to my "animal horror movies" series, where I ask you what animals deserve their own horror movies and why they do or don't! Inspired by @NorthwestRider and his animal-themed questions.

Even Hitler has a better PR team than these guys, and their role The Lion King certainly didn't help. Today, we're talking about hyenas. Specifically, the Spotted Hyena!

These giggling gangsters are 4-5 feet long and 2 and a half-3 feet tall at the shoulders, and-- much to the joy of radical feminists--the females are larger, stronger, and more violent than the males.

You probably know that spotted hyenas and lions are the Crips and the Bloods of Africa. And that usually, it can take 20 hyenas to kill 1 (male) lion. That sounds pathetic until you realize hyena clans can have up to 80 members, and sometimes they can have up to 130.

And they know how to get active! For starters, hyenas have a bite force of 1100 PSI--enough to crush bone. They do scavenge, but they actually hunt 70-80% of their meals, and when they do, they have a 70% success rate (lions' SR is 21%). To add insult to injury, lions steal from THEM more often than they steal from lions. Why? Because hyenas have something that lions don't--endurance.

Hyenas can run at speeds of 37 MPH (Usain Bolt's top speed is 27.33) for several miles. Meaning not only are they faster than you, but they'll chase you into exhaustion. And Heaven help you if--actually, WHEN--they catch you!

Spotted hyenas have no problems with eating their prey alive, and since their bite is strong enough to amputate an elephant, your last moments would be Hell on Earth. And since they eat the bones as well as the flesh and organs, there might not be anything left of you to bury.

So, do Spotted Hyenas deserve their own horror movie? Why or why not?

Updates

13 d

The final fact: They're smarter than we think. They're not as smart as chimpanzees, but they're better problem-solvers. Spotted hyenas are able to pass cooperative problem-solving tests--and unlike chimpanzees, they don't need to be trained at all to pass!

In summation, they live in clans of 80-130, their bites can amputate us, they outperform lions at hunting because of their endurance, they eat their prey alive, and they have better problem-solving skills than an animal smarter than them.

[BCA6010]

It wouldn't be the dumbest thing Hollywood has ever made. I've actually seen them in the wild though, and they're relatively skittish/not dangerous compared to water buffalos, hippos, and elephants.

[TomGarand]

Funnily enough, I've made a question asking if Hippos deserve their own horror movie. Do Hippos deserve their own horror movie? ↗

[NamerOfStars]

1100 PSI isn't particularly impressive, in light of the fact that the common Norwegian rat has a bite PSI over 10,000. It's a measurement of pressure, not force.

Come on, this is basic physics.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Look horrifying 🆗👍🏻

[itsclearlynicholas]

Probably the scariest thing to real life hell hounds 😨😨😨😨

[itsclearlynicholas]

@TomGrand thank you for this thoughtful question ❓

[itsclearlynicholas]

@TomGarand sorry typo + thank you for this thoughtful question