There are three reasons I have dedicated myself to having no friends while being openly supportive of other's habits and lifechoices. Of those three two are born of personal dilemma and one is born of ethical choice. I firmly believe that the decisions made based on these three reasons are sound though I aopenly admit that with two of them being emotional, perhaps it is simply delusion.
The first reason is that humans are fickle, and not only are they fickle, but they are impermanent. I find that a turn-off when I consider things like friendship because what good is a resource that is not dependable and may, or may not, do all they can to help you when you are at your worst? With a flicker of finger humans go from best friends to worst enemies and with a mere mispoken word or trip in etiquette at the perfect time emotions can run far higher than expected and all can be instantly lost. It is, in my opinion, a rather nonsensical investment to make in the idea that another person is fundamentally able to support and even cherish my wants, needs, goals and dreams.
The second, and probably worst, reason is that I just can't figure out what to do with others. To my knowledge friendship is a mutual relationship no matter how it is defined but I just about never actually get anything from other people. It is not that I do not ask after other people but instead that when I ask after others generally speaking the things I require are technical and of a nature that you either do or do not know. Many times I have found it easier to simply learn on my own than rely on others for various information or tips which means I have nothing for them to do for me. Friendship becomes a one-sided proposition particularly because the other person is just useless to me! It is not purposefuly self-sufficiency either nor is it some attempt to show superiority but instead most of the problems that I have I tend to just solve on my own and most of the problems that I am introduced to from others I can help with buw when asked if they can return the favor ... well, no.
The last is genuinely just impermanence. Outside of two people, not including family, I haven't spoken to another person for over five years straight. Even among those who made it that far the history is incredibly splotchy and fundamentally there's simply no gain. If all relationships tend to be temporary and as I get older that becomes more true then there's just no point. This does not excuse me from my ethical duty to help as much as possible but i consider my aid to be closer to doing all I can for a person's current goals in their current selves than worrying about what happens even six months from meeting them.
I have absolutely no faith that people will be around on the order of years unless they are undergoing a long-standing project in which I am offering some kind of aid that has meaning. Once that project is over though the actual nature of the relationship is revealed and collapses because there's nothing there to solidify it such as a common project or cause.
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I wrote this for myself so that I could look back and see exactly what I believed then. Bookmark!
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