Break-ups don't just happen between two people in a relationship, they can happen to friends too. In any relationship in life you have to cultivate it, respect it, honor it, give it time, energy, and value, and when you or the other person doesn't make a conscious effort to do so, the friendship is either going to be very one sided or it's most likely going to come to a natural conclusion. I think a lot of us just hang on to friendships that aren't really friendships anymore because we feel like we are being disloyal not to or because like any dreaded break-up, even though in your heart of hearts you know it's over, you don't want to acknowledge that truth because of what that means. So what are some signs the friendship is likely coming to an end...
1. They've missed a lot of important milestones in your life with no real explanation
People work, they have school, they have kids, but no one is busy every single moment and so many moments that they would miss something really important to you like your wedding, or graduation, or birthday. Obviously any friends are going to miss these dates every once in a while, but when you send out invites, don't hear anything, they don't show up, and when you ask them about it, they repeatedly have no answer or real explanation as to why they never seem to show up when you really need or want them to anymore, that person who for whatever reason, is no longer putting the same value on what you value or supporting you when you need it.
2. Your calls go to voicemail and texts and emails go unaswered
No one goes from texting you all the time to not at all with no real explanation behind it. Most good friends communicate a lot whether that be every day, or a couple times a week.
3. They no longer defend you
Your friends should have your back. When people are talking crap about you and your friends don't speak up or defend your honor, it shows a lack of care and respect for you, because most likely you'd do the same. Someone who goes from doing this to just shrugging as people insult you or say things that aren't true about you, isn't really your friend.
4. They start lying to you
When you start to find out that your friend was at the party she or he said they weren't going to, and they weren't sick the day of your work thing, and they didn't have class the day you were supposed to go for lunch...it all starts to add up. Real friends don't need to lie about where they are, who they are with, or how they are feeling to you to avoid hanging out with you.
5. Awkward silence becomes a real thing
When you go from talking 4 hours on the phone about everything to looking around at the chairs in the room, and a lot of awkward silence between you, the friendship may be fading especially if you find yourself on the phone or in person saying, well, I gotta go or maybe I should get going now because I have a thing more often then not.
6. Growing Pains
We all grow up sometime, and for some, that rate of growth far outpaces a friend. Maybe you chose to go to college and they don't and you come back for a visit and they haven't really changed at all and you feel you have with all the new experiences and moving out of state and meeting new people. Maybe you have a new 'adult' job and they are still hanging out at the park everyday all day. Maybe you get married and have kids and can't or don't want to do the club thing anymore. It happens, and sometimes, like it or not, those old friendships were meant for a time and/or place that you may have moved on from. Also friends that become toxic to your success, either they don't support it, or have some bad habits that threaten to ruin you or what you've got, you should leave them behind or risk them infecting your life.
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