I'm going to have to water proof my keyboard for this myTake. For it's going to be an extremely emotional one for me, and probably going to be crying through writing all of this.
First time I had a loved one die was 8 months ago on September 15th before 7:30am. The one that died was my grandmother on my fathers side. For over 5 years she had been slowly deteriorating due to having dementia and old age.
It started out with her slowly having troubles walking and getting up, then she wouldn't be able to get out of bed much, after a point she never got out of bed again due to being too feeble. If my grandfather had to go out of town, I would spend the night with her. To make sure she was already and help her go to the bathroom. Though after a point I wasn't strong enough to physically help her with that.
The morning I found out like normal my alarm for my Adhd medication went off at 7:30am, I take that time to go to the bathroom and then back to bed till I wake up around 8:30am. That morning when I woke up to take my medication and then go back to sleep. My mom came to me and told me that my grandmother on my dads side had passed away.
The news of that didn't really hit me until the 2nd time I woke up. That's when I really thought about what that meant and I cried for hours. I knew it was just a matter of time before all the things that was wrong with her would catch up. Even though I was ready for that and accept it, no matter what that still hurts to lose her.
I was extremely close with my grandmother, and would spend majority of my childhood staying with her. I would spend the night often and do a lot of fun activities with her. We would watch the stars, play board games, make S'more on her stove, play hide n seek, and a lot of other things. She was extremely active up until she started having her problems, and it never seemed like anything could take her down. She was a very strong woman due to all the things she had faced in life, sadly nobody lives forever.
First my family set up for an open casket viewing for the whole family to visit and pay their respects. Though I had issues going to look at her. She just looked like she was sleeping but I knew she was never going to wake up again. The next day was the funeral, all my close male relatives would carry her casket out, which was transported to this church my grandma would go to since I was a kid. A few times as a kid I did go with her just to spend time, I never believed in religion. When it was time for them to take my grandma to the church, that's the part that killed me the most. I tried hard not to cry. It was like they were taking my grandmother away from me. I knew that it would be the last time I would physically see her again. I knew she had to go but I didn't want her too, after that we all got into our cars and drove to the church.
We had a police car lead us through town, and the service was beautiful. They talked about a lot of happy memories with my grandmother. A lot the stories made us laugh, my grandmother was a very cheerful woman. After the funeral came to an end, we all drove to the cemetery where she would be buried next to her parents. That part didn't take as long when we places flowers on her casket, and then waited a bit until heading back to the church. Which we went back there to eat food that they had for us, nobody had ate anything all day at that point. That was the final part and the family members that were still around at that point, all went home.
Even though it's been almost 8 months now since her passing. It still hurts that she's gone, when ever I go to my grandparents home now. I end up crying because it makes me think about how she's gone but I do think about the happy times I had there. I do have trouble feeling like it's all real.
Once someone you love is gone, it doesn't feel real and not sure when it will ever fully feel real. It always helps to think about the happy times you had with them and all the memories you have built up. I will always miss my grandmother but at least now she isn't suffering anymore.
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