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A MyTake About My “Abusive” (In Her Own Unique Way) Mother

I really cannot tell whether it’s a blessing or a curse to have a mother like her. But the fact I feel oppressed remains.



A MyTake about my “abusive” (in her own unique way) mother


To begin with, I don’t have any siblings. My father died when I was 13, and since then she was remarried (actually not, but technically she did). More or less she only cares about me, even more than herself. We live separately, but I didn’t move out in the ordinary way. Since I became 20 or so, she decided to move permanently, in her husband’s house, and leave myself on my own on our house. Yet she has my keys, and I depend on her financially, since I don’t work. I should also mention here, I happen to live in a country where mothers are highly praised, and it’s even considered normal for someone who is 40 years old, to live with their mother and depend on them financially, especially in our days. So nobody judges her about her behavior. I am not some kid either. But I will turn 25 years old this year. As you can realize my only option is to tolerate her, and her nonsense. My only other option would be to sleep in the park’s benches.



A MyTake About My “Abusive” (In Her Own Unique Way) Mother



She has three extremely bad habits. To spoil me,like if I was 10 years old, and being concerned WAY TOO MUCH about my health, to the point ignoring her own. The third habit is, she enjoys to put me down, even if she doesn’t realize she actually does. She thinks she doesn’t put me down, and she says all those things out of love.



She’s buying me food, clothes, shoes, etc without even asking her to do, even if I beg her to not do it. I tell her that it makes me feel bad and it destroys my mood. As for clothes/shoes, she considers me unable to choose. Here’s where the putting me down thing comes in.



A MyTake About My “Abusive” (In Her Own Unique Way) Mother



About health, is a bigger issue. She thinks I am way too thin, to the point I’m anorexic. She really forces me to put on two-three kilos otherwise she threatens me almost on a daily basis, that she’ll drag me to the hospital. My BMI is 18 and something actually. It’s borderline underweight indeed, but not anorexic. And I really don’t want to put on weight. Not out of fear that I will get fat, but because I don’t like someone pushing me to put on weight. If I put on OK. Otherwise I don’t mind. Of course, I don’t want to lose more weight either.



What annoys me as well is, she always tells me every day that she loves me. I respond, I don’t because you make me feel like shit every day. Especially about pushing me to put on weight. She should mind her own health first, since she gets really panicked every time she talks about my food habits.



A MyTake About My “Abusive” (In Her Own Unique Way) Mother


I really live in fear because of her. I always tell her I feel abused, I’m afraid of her and I cannot see her as a friend. And she goes “I want you to see me as a friend”, "I want your own good", etc. But she makes me scared.


If there is a thing that makes me extremely anxious in my life is my mother. Especially the last months I’m really afraid of her. The fact that I might see her on the road again accidentally makes me paranoid. Also when I see a car similar like hers, I really panic. If it’s on the street I always see the driver, if it is my mom or not. If such a car is parked I always check the plate to see if it's hers and she is around.



Well that's all. Hope one day I will get over my fear.

A MyTake About My “Abusive” (In Her Own Unique Way) Mother
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