I Don't Think Your Goal Should Be to Be Single For The Rest of Your Life

[Anonymous]

When you're like twenty, the prospects of being single are great. You can do anything, go anywhere, have the most fun you want and not be responsible for anyone or anything but yourself. Why not live that life when you're young because you certainly have the time, the energy, your health, and the freedom, but I've never felt like being single is something someone should strive to be for their entire lives.

As you grow up and see the bigger picture of life, you should want someone to give a damn about you outside of being in some sexual relationship or outside of a friendship or co-worker status. Going home to an empty house is great from time to time, but sharing it with someone else and being able to share one's life, one's ups and downs, ones fears, ones love---it's part of centuries of connection that have helped us survive in life. We can only really find that through those we consider family. Those outside of that are not in any way obligated to care about us any more than us them.

Being single can be so great and carefree until life hits you in the gut..and it will...hit you in the gut. You should want, nay, need someone to be there with you when that happens. Most if not all the times in life where you'll be laid low, it's the people who will come at 3am in the morning, or stop work to rush you to a hospital, or give up their free time to be there for you and offer their support that get you through those dark times. Friends are great, some more than others, but they can leave or just not show up at all at any time when the sh*t hits the fan in your life.

It's also not just the bad times either. It's the good times too. When you get that promotion, or your favorite show is on, or you're finally able to afford a new car---congratulating yourself all the time gets old as does being your own company all the time. You don't learn or grow as a person by just always being the smartest, funniest, most knowledgeable person in the room simply by default. We need to be challenged, we need deeper companionship, and we need connection.

Some people feel like they can do it all and that they don't need anybody or that just because they've been burned once or twice by past relationships, they can just go through everything in life on their own and not care about anyone but themselves, but it is so incredibly difficult when you have to do it all by yourself all day everyday, deal with everything on your own, and you never have anyone to really reach out to when you're struggling through whatever you're struggling through or just simply help make your life easier. We need people in our lives that love and care for us unconditionally, who don't want anything back from us for giving that love and care, and who genuinely through the good and bad, stick by us.

I think a lot of people give up on love because they convince themselves it's too hard to find. They're often going through the hurt of past pain or a terrible break-up or divorce instead of dealing with just that one person and why it didn't work out with them. They tend to project that anger and pain on to every man or woman they meet and end up sabotaging themselves and their own potential happiness. It's like anything else in life, if it doesn't work out, you must learn how to move on and try again because the goal is to find someone that does check those boxes we have in our heads about the one for us because being single forever, isn't everything it's cracked up to be.