We tend to imagine that if a good friendship dies, it's going to be because we got in a fight with one another, or one or both did something so horrible, we believe there is no coming back from that, but most of the time good friendships can dissipate even if there was no real catastrophic catalyst causing them to fail. Most friendships die over a few common reasons, and usually it's a slow death that neither of you want to actively admit is happening until it's just over and you're left scratching your head.
When things are good between you, if a friend calls and says, hey this weekend, do you want to hang out...unless you have prior plans, your response would usually be an enthusiastic yes because you want to hang out and they want to hang with you. Over time, when you start dodging these calls or making up excuses not to hang out, you will drift further and further apart until failure because part of maintaining healthy strong friendships is showing up in the first place, and not just in the good times. If you don't show up for the good or the bad times when they really need you, its a strong indicator that whatever you have is becoming less and less of a friendship and more like something acquaintances have.
Having a long distance between you is another reason friendships fizzle. Just like with long distance relationships, sometimes space is the real killer. As great as technology is, it's not the same as in person interaction. You cannot go hang out and see a movie together or check out the girls/guys at a bar together, or go to your favorite hang out spot, or have your kids play together, if the other person is a million miles away. We all want people who can be around us in person and if that good friend can't do that, sometimes they fade away as both we and they realize that moving on to hang out and make new relationships with those around us, is much more suited to us than straining hard to maintain something where we may never get to see our friend in person again.
Another reason is being in different places in your life. When you're all in high school or you're all at the same college, there is a shared experience, but when one of you goes on to do bigger and better things or grows up and matures, or has kids, or gets married, navigating former relationships with someone whom we feel is no longer at our level, even if it's no one's fault that they aren't, can be difficult. It's hard, for example, to want to party until 3am all weekend long with old friends, if you now have a kid who needs your full attention. So over time, who you choose to hang out with can change just as you do. Sometimes that means leaving old friendships behind.
And lastly, and one of the more difficult things to realize, is that sometimes what you thought was a real friendship really wasn't. Sometimes friendships are made out of pure convenience, or one or both of you is using the other for personal gain. That person was only friendly so they could get to your boyfriend, or they were only friendly because you know the boss personally and they wanted a recommendation from you. It could even be that the only thing loosely holding you together was the fact that you were in the same place and the same time, as in high school or college, but once you leave, that's it, and you're done with your past and ready to move on.
All of this can be repaired if you AND your friend want to repair it. You can not let distances or different places in your life, or laziness break you up if you are willing to put in the time and effort to maintain a strong healthy relationships, but at the point where you are breaking, you have to know and want to fix it together, because if one or both of you just doesn't want to make the effort or your heart is not in it, your friendship will die and either you have to be okay with that or willing to move on.
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