I realized from a very young age that my mother and I were just not destined to get along. We are just two incredibly different people. When I lived at home, we would butt heads over everything, from my make up, friends, clothes, classes I was taking, thoughts I shared, opinions, etc. I could go on forever with stories of my overly critical, conservative to a fault, ignorant, fanatically religious, and stubborn mother, but I wouldn't want to bore you. As I grew up, I swore that I would become everything that my mother wasn't and so far I think I've done a pretty good job. I've also come to realize that while I cannot stand my mother as a person, I do love her.
I'll give it up to her, she worked incredibly hard to raise myself and my siblings, which couldn't have been easy on any level because we are all just as stubborn as she is. Both her and our father sacrificed so much so that we could have everything. I also know that she swore that she would be nothing like her own mother who had told her not to worry about college. That she was just going to get married and have babies. While my own mother did tell me that the career that I'm working towards will be great when I have children ("It will be so flexible when you have children. You can stay at home when they're little, while still picking up a few hours here and there!"), she also is pushing me towards what I can honestly say is my dream job at a school where I'm going to finish school with my master's degree at the young age of 22. She wants the best for each and every one of us, even if we have differing opinions of what that may include sometimes.
So yes, I try to visit my mother in situations where I only have to be around her for relatively short amounts of time or I make sure that there is someone there that I can use as a buffer (my older sister has kids and they are perfect for exactly this). And yes, I have to actively restrain myself from sharing parts of my life that I know will lead to a fight, one example being that my roommate is a lesbian who has a girlfriend and I've gone to multiple Pride festivals with them and some of our other friends. My mother has at one point asserted the idea that people who are gay just haven't found the right different gendered person yet and would be concerned that they were brain washing me into thinking that "praying the gay away" isn't a viable option. That among other things lead me to not particularly enjoying her company all the time, but I can say without a doubt that I love her with all of my heart and I always will.
Most Helpful Opinions