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Before having kids, weekends were long and stretched out with potential. Sure, you may not have always completed those DIY projects or brushed up on your French or Spanish, but watching an entire season of House Of Cards counted for something, right? Then there were those glorious days of morning runs, spa visits or coffee dates with friends than morphed into nights out as the sunset.
It’s only after having children do most of us appreciate the sheer peace and luxury of being bored and having nothing to do. Being on your feet every waking minute of your day chasing after one or more small humans is no easy task. And it’s often in this race to get their needs met that you can lose your sense of self and put “me time” on the back burner.
But self-care is important - for you and for them. A happy mom resonates good vibes and kids sense it. Here are some simple yet effective methods to sneak some self-care into your daily routine.
1. Plan ahead
As a parent, you tend to plan for every situation. You’ve got your basis covered, whether it is back-up babysitting for last-minute meetings or alternative meal options for fussy eaters. Now use your scheduling superpowers to slot out a few moments each week where you can do something that benefits you. It doesn’t have to be done without your kids, either. For instance, if you need to get some exercise in, plan a Saturday morning outing with the family to the park or the beach. While your kids are playing with your partner or a pal, get in a 30-minute run or walk, or sit on a bench and read a few chapters of a book. Most importantly, try to give yourself a mental break from worrying about the children while you know they’re in great hands.
2. Sneak in some enjoyment
For a lot of us, leisurely reading is one of the most missed activities once parenthood kicks in. Especially when the kids are young, getting settled in with a book or even the newspaper can be an impossible task. Think of alternative ways you can stimulate your mind while doing something mundane. For example, listen to an audiobook by your favourite author or catch up on a podcast while driving or doing the laundry instead of tuning into the radio. Or buy a soothing facial mask and treat your skin while preparing lunch.
3. Learn to ask for help
Parenting can be an endless, thankless task, especially if you are the partner doing the lion’s share of domestic duties. Often, our other halves aren’t aware of the stresses and strains of getting the home under control day in and day out. Don’t expect your partner or spouse to be a mind reader. Don’t allow yourself to reach a breaking point and take out your frustrations in unhealthy ways. When you need a break, communicate it clearly but kindly and you’re more likely to get a willing and understanding helping hand. This doesn’t just work with other halves; you can approach extended family members and friends too when the pressure gets too much.
4. Reconnect with your old self
Make a list of all the things you used to relish and enjoy and you don’t get time to anymore. Now try to slowly incorporate them back into your life. Sure, you may not be able to stay out till 4 am partying the night away, but a child-free evening out with friends every month can be a great compromise to familiarise yourself with, well, yourself. Miss going for movie dates with your significant other? Fix a day each month, organise a babysitter and try to stick to the schedule.
5. Reward yourself
After relentless months of hard work and effort, everyone needs a spot of pampering. While some prefer experiences and activities, others enjoy the unadulterated pleasure of splurging on something pretty. If you are a new mom or have very young children, your shopping sprees are probably limited to the supermarket for pantry essentials. Take a couple of hours out to visit your favourite store to browse and buy yourself a little present. Whether you are buying something as small as a new top or something extravagant such as buying gold or buying diamond jewellery, set a budget and make no excuses to exhaust it.
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