Hi guys and girls. This myTake was inspired from the feedback on "6 Reasons You Attract Toxic People". I received a lot of different questions about how to avoid them. My favorite question was " So you're saying being ourselves and having goals attracts toxic people. So what? Do we stop having goals" You never have to change who you are because of toxic people but you will have to create boundaries and rules around those relationships to successfully protect your energy and aura. In this myTake I will be discussing five ways to handle toxic people. Take a look 🧐
First Way: Setting Boundaries and rules around the relationship/friendship
Once you have identified that someone is toxic you need to make a healthy boundary. (I will definitely be making a myTake to help everyone identify who toxic people are.) So, what is considered a "healthy boundary"? A healthy boundary is one that is clear and lays out rules, guidelines, or limits to reasonably identify permissible behaviors. And the boundary will also identify how someone will act when that boundary has been crossed. So for example, let's say you and your friends hang out all the time but you can not hang out as much anymore because you started working a new job or started a new sport. You just don't have the time anymore and you tell your friends that you apologise for not being more available. You let them know you are available on the weekends to hang out and that's it and if something changes you will let them know. In this example, everyone's needs are being met and the limits have been established. So now you can tell who is crossing this boundary a lot easier. Moving on!!!!!!!!! Takes a breath.
Second Way: Self Awareness!!!! Be Open And Honest With Yourself.
Are you aware that you have toxic people in your life and you just allow that behavior to continue to avoid conflict? Do you ever find yourself upset or exhausted after interacting with the toxic individual and you do nothing and say nothing in the moment? Or do you find yourself constantly victimized by the same person over and over again and instead of addressing it you prefer to remain the victim? If any of these resonate with you then it is time to start taking some accountability. "Drama doesn't just walk into your life you either create it, invite it, or you associate with people who love to bring it into your life" If you are guilty of any of these things (cough cough like me😇) no worries it's never too late to change your ways.
Third Way: ASK FOR HELP!!!!!!
What happens when you have done everything you can to place boundaries and demand for your needs to be met and they are ignored or dismissed? What happens if this person is someone you want to keep in your life and you just want them to change their toxic ways? You can ask for professional help and counseling. It is very useful when both parties want to continue the relationship. In therapy or counseling you will have a third party to identify exactly who is toxic and what dynamics need to be adjusted to ensure a long, healthy relationship.
Fourth Way: Take A Break.
I am not saying end the relationship, ghost this person, or give them the silent treatment. During this break you will still be in contact with this toxic person but it will be a whole lot less. Overall exposure needs to be limited. If you have tried out some of the different ways listed above and they are still unresponsive to your efforts you and that person needs a break. This break allows both parties to step back and see if the relationship is still worth saving. "The Break" sucks. It can almost put you into grieving status but it is a necessary evil. Now during this break it's critical to be mindful. How does it feel to not interact with this individual often? Give it an emotion with one word. Do you feel joy, resentment, anger, hope, shame, guilt, or hopelessness? Once you name the emotion it will make whichever decision you make a lot easier.
Fifth Way: Walk Away.
This is the saddest way which is why I saved it for last. Walking away always seems so final. Life is short and you want to be surrounded by people who you love regardless of their levels of toxicity. But if you have exhausted all your efforts and you no longer have the energy to maintain the relationship then it's time to walk away. You are responsible for protecting your energy and happiness. "Sometimes walking away has nothing to do with weakness, and everything to do with strength. "We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value, but because we finally realize our own."
Thank you guys for stopping by to read and give feedback. Please feel free to ask questions or suggest any follow up myTakes you might be interested in reading. I love reading everyone's stories!!!!! (so don't be shy lol) I had so much fun writing these and I can only hope this is useful information for someone. Disclaimer:I do not own these images. Or profit from them. The artists are extremely talented. So give them a follow or a like. I could only dream to make illustrations this beautiful. Have a wonderful COLORFUL day 🧡💛💚💙💜