This MyTake is about me becoming friends with someone who in many ways, is the complete opposite to me. I thought it would be cool to share my experience with you guys. So what happened with us? Did we stay friends? Did we realise we were too different and went our separate ways? Read on to find out. ;P
I want to start by telling you a little bit about us.
She is 5'5. She has blue/greeny eyes. Her hair is short, straight and naturally blonde. She likes to 'chalk' her hair in nice pastel colours sometimes. She has white skin. Sometimes she likes artsy makeup, but most times she'll have a makeup-free face.
I am 5'1. I have brown eyes. My hair is long, curly and naturally black. I've never 'chalked' my hair in my life, and don't intend to. I have brown skin. If I was to wear makeup it wouldn't be bold and artsy it'd be minimal- but the last time I wore makeup was three years ago and pretty much all the time my face is makeup-free.
She is British Hungarian. She is an atheist. She is a vegan. She was born in our city but grew up elsewhere. She grew in a (unintentionally) racially segregated society- meaning it was predominately made up of one demographic. She has no brothers and one sister. She is the younger sister. She has a dog, two cats, three birds. She has dyslexia. She's been to various countries in the world.
I am British Pakistani. I am a Muslim. I love eating meat. I was born elsewhere but grew up in our city. I grew up in a multicultural society. I have no sisters and one brother. I am the older sister. I just have one fish. I have hemiplegia. I have never left the country.
She's into art and drawing people. She dislikes writing- she'd prefer to draw. She prefers a 'hands on' way of learning rather than an academic one. She loves tattoos and would like a few in the future when she's old enough. She loves KPOP. Her favourite superhero is Black Widow. Right now, she's studying to work with animals. She prefers manga to superhero comics. She doesn't really like discussing politics. She loves to binge watch shows.
I'm into writing. I love writing- and I dislike drawing. I prefer an academic way of learning rather than a 'hands on' way. I don't really like tattoos and I don't want any in the future. I've considered becoming an author. My favourite superhero is Spider-Man. I'm not really into KPOP- I have a diverse taste in music. I'm studying to work in the Law industry. I prefer superhero comics to manga. I like discussing politics. I can barely get through an episode of a show if it's over 30 minutes long.
Her style is pretty bold. She loves bold colours. She doesn't mind dressing revealingly- and when I say that I mean things like, she wouldn't mind showing her legs, or wearing a crop top, or a strapless top, but she doesn't dress like that on a daily basis. A lot of the time it's just bright coloured jumpers, or tops, or dungarees. And she does like to have some KPOP style accessories too.
My style on the other hand, is pretty simple. I do have like a couple of bright stuff, but nowhere near as bold as hers. And I'm not up for wearing anything revealing like I stated above. I'm a leggings and a jumper kinda person.
Plans for the future...
She's considered becoming a tattoo artist- but that's not her main careerpath. She really wants to work with animals, as what, she doesn't really know yet- one thing she has considered is animal therapy, but she knows she definitely wants to work with animals. She also said she wouldn't mind becoming a fashion designer too - again not as a main career more like a side thing - because she loves art.
I'd love to become an author- that's not my main careerpath though. In terms of my career I'm leaving my options open- either for the law industry or the tech one. Who knows, I could even make both the law and tech industry meet somehow? Writing is more of a hobby for now, I want to go professional but it isn't always a reliable careerpath.
So how did two people so different meet?
Secondary school. She came into year 10, as a new student- she'd just moved back to this city with her family. I saw her around a few times, she was in my science class. Then one day, we were leaving science and I saw her walking by herself and I thought:
She seems nice why not talk to her?
So I walked up to her and said "hi" and I told her that I was in her science class. She spoke with a different accent to people in my city, so I asked her where she was from, and what brought her to our city- and she told me where she was from and explained why she moved.
And because we were walking out of the school gates, the conversation was pretty short because we had to walk our separate ways.
And we carried on walking out the gates for a few days, and we just talked about random stuff like Marvel movies, and then I saw her in PE paired up with her, and we again, talked about Marvel movies and goofed around, talking about other random stuff.
And how did our friendship go from there?
Absolutely awful. We found out more and more differences about ourselves and realised we were too different to be friends, we got into a huge argument about our differences and we completely cut each other off. I actually hate her, she's so annoying- this is why two different people can't be friends..............................
We've never gotten into an argument about our differences. At all. We learned about each other instead and discussed our differences and in some instances, we disagreed on certain matters, but that didn't shake our friendship at all.
She came from a place, where there wasn't any religious minorities or much people of colour to a place like our city full of a diverse range of people from various ethnic and religious backgrounds.
And instead of being afraid of that, she embraced that and learned about all the different people here- even though she'd be told certain rumours about people of certain backgrounds which she'd soon discovered were completely false.
She'd always ask me questions about things like my religion (especially during Ramadan lol), my ethnic background, and I'd always explain- and if we were all talking about a topic to do with something concerning religion or Asian culture, I'd always give her a little background on the topic so she'd understand what we were talking about, and she could have input in the conversation too.
And when it came to her, I learned about her too. She told me about how her grandfather came to the UK from Hungary, and I learned a lot about veganism because of her. People talk like vegans are these crazy people who would smash up KFC or something- but that's just a negative stereotype. She doesn't mind people eating meat, as long as you respect her belief she'll respect yours. She does love animals, and that's one reason for her being vegan. But another reason she believes in being vegan is because she feels like everyone can be included with vegan food. For example, she likes how I can come over to her house and not worry about whether the food is halal or not- because there's no meat, and she doesn't put alcohol in her food or anything- so I know whatever she has will be completely okay for me to eat.
We're different in a lot of ways but similar too.
We believe in equality, and learning about people who are different for ourselves. We're against things like racism, sexism, discrimination based on sexuality, discrimination based on religion, and just discrimination in general. But, aren't most people? That should go without saying, to be honest.
We have other common grounds like we both love marvel movies, we admire the same actors/actresses and other figures, we like reading and discussing books, even though I hate drawing- I love looking at hers because they are fire, and even though she hates politics she loves hearing my rant about certain issues, and then she just loves hearing me rant in general (because my ranting is funny ;P). One time when I went to her house, we did this thing where she'd show me her clothes, and I'd say whether I wear them or not and we found it funny about how I said "Nah" at so many things.
We always talk about things like family, and it's always fun seeing how different our family situations can be. And then when we have problems they're different problems- but we always go to each other when they're happening. I don't wanna say what problems exactly, because that's personal to us- but in some way we've always managed to help each other with them.
And we always manage to have such funny inside jokes too. This time last year, we were in year 11, and I remember I printed out this photo of Spider-Man, Dr Strange and Iron Man. We called it "the family photo" and we decided for a joke that I was Spider-Man (obviously) she was Dr Strange (she likes his powers) and our other friend was Iron Man (because she joked about changing her name to 'Tony Stark') and we labeled the characters with our actual real names instead and we had this groupchat and we called it: "Strange, Stark and Spider-Stump" (we joked about them being trees because they were taller than me and me being a tree stump because I'm short).
We had so much fun together, on the school residential where we discovered Indian Spider-Man, went gyll scrambling, wet caving and on a long-ass walk and got a little hyper. At the school trip to the theme park where I lost my shoe and threw up (story for another day), at school in general where we'd study, have a laugh, and help each other with our work, when I went to her house during summer and other school holidays where we'd watch movies, talk about random stuff, and try and cook and partially-fail at it. During summer when we went to go see Spider-Man: Far From Home and we absolutely loved it and went to go get food afterwards. And there's more I could list but there aren't enough characters for that.
After summer, we went to different colleges. She went to one specialising in working with animals, and having hands on experience with that- instead of doing the equivalent academic courses, because as I said she prefers hands on experience. I went to one, where it offers the A-Level courses I wanted to do, and I'm studying them because A-Levels are an academic route to get to where I want to get.
So, how is our friendship now?
We're best friends. I love her- she's like the sister I never had. She's said to me too, that I'm like a sister to her. When I met her for the first time, I had a feeling we'd become really good friends, and from there onwards we soon became best friends.
We haven't really seen each other in ages though. I mean college has taken up our time quite a bit, and I'm not just talking the workload, getting used to the whole new atmosphere, meeting new people too and other stuff.
And arranging to meet is awkward too, because of our different college timetables, and if we're both out of college, one of us is usually tied down with college work- so thank goodness for Instagram, because at least we can still talk to each other through there- and send each other memes. xD
For real though, memes are a really good icebreaker. :P
Like today is a classic example of meeting being 'awkward'. Most of my friends are heading to a friend's house tomorrow, for Halloween. I'd love to go, it doesn't even clash in with the library work I have to do. The time they're all going, is the time my library work finishes- so ideally I could just get on a bus and go straight to hers. But I can't because I have to be home tomorrow, so my little brother isn't home alone tomorrow at that time- so unfortunately, I can't go. :(
But there's always next time. :)
Inconvience ruling my life right now xD
Any last words?
I wrote this MyTake about me and my opposite best friend because I've seen the way people act, especially on this website acting like it's completely alien for two people with big differences to even like each other.
Me and my best friend always joke about how our friendship would leave small-minded people shook like:
❝ Oh My GoD!
sHe'S bRowN! sHe's WhItE!
sHe's A mUsLiM! ShE's An AtHeIsT!
sHe LoVeS mEaT! sHe'S a VeGaN
*LiStS aLl OuR oThEr DiFfeReNcEs*
HoW cAn ThEy Be FrIeNdS???!!!! ❞
I'll tell you how. By not dividing ourselves on the things which make us who we are, even though they are different. We don't see our differences as a threat to each other, we see them as something interesting, and something new we can learn from each other. It helps us open our minds.
And when we discuss certain matters and disagree on them- like our Spider-Man, Black Widow debate (lol) we end it with agreeing to disagree, we think it's interesting to see an alternative viewpoint, and we're mature enough to not let a disagreement put a dent in our friendship.
Difference isn't something to be afraid of, it's something to embrace, I hoped you enjoyed this MyTake.
Thank you for reading :) <3