The Sexism In Disabilities: How Being a Girl Has Made It Easier

I wrote a MyTake about this quite a while back. But since then, I have done some more research and I think the partial disability I have is not diplegia, I believe it's actually called hemiplegia.

The Sexism In Disabilities: How Being a Girl Has Made It Easier

See, with diplegia it would be both my legs affected however, both my legs are not affected. The left side of my body is affected, and what I believe is most affected is my left leg, and left arm. The whole left side of my body, however, is weaker, slower, and stiffer than my right side.

The exact definition of hemiplegia is:

"paralysis of one side of the body."

And some of the symptoms I face of it are:

Muscle stiffness or weakness on one half of the body - My left side is really weak for a girl my age. Sometimes I really feel it, because it feels like my body weight is too much for it to carry it weighs me down (no pun intended lol) and I get pains every now and then. But some days it's just fine and I feel completely normal.
Favoring one side of the body
- I do almost everything with the right side of my body. I hate using my left because it's so weak.
Keeping one hand fisted.
- I usually do this when walking are writing with a pen, basically, when I'm not using my left hand I always keep it fisted.
Difficulty balancing and walking. -
Balancing is difficult for me. It was way more difficult when I was younger though, I had to wear a splint on my left leg. I don't need it anymore, which is a good thing. I still lack balance when I'm not wearing trainers, I'll stumble around the place more often and if I'm sat down for a long time and get up- I'll usually stumble around a bit before I gain balance. As for walking, I walk with a limp that makes me slower than everyone else.
Lack of fine motor skills.
- My left leg isn't as flexible and the muscles are tighter than your average person's my age.
Developmental delays, especially with motor skills. -
This isn't really now, but when I was younger I did learn to walk late, I don't remember how late, but it was pretty late. A lot of the time when I was a baby I just used to shuffle on my bum everywhere😂 When I wasn't walking when I should've been, that's when my parents took me to the doctors and I was referred to a hospital, the same hospital I've been visiting every now and then ever since I was a baby, and they diagnosed me with diplegia.

I show some diplegia symptoms, but I feel like what I have is closer to hemiplegia if anything. I remember my dad said the doctor did say it could change as I get older, so it could be that when I was younger I had diplegia but over time as I got older it developed into hemiplegia. Or I did have surgery when I was about 10-years-old, and I read somewhere that hemiplegia can develop in response to surgery- so it could be that. Or they could've just got it wrong from the beginning and I had hemiplegia all along.

Another thing my dad told me, is when I was younger he also did a lot of reading on the internet about diplegia, and he discovered I don't walk like someone with diplegia. And he tried to tell the doctors this, and that it could be something else but the doctors insisted it was diplegia, but he said that they did say it could change when I get older so I don't really know.

Another thing I'm unsure about- is whether I have Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (hEDS). The definition of that is:

"are a group of rare inherited conditions that affect connective tissue."

And there are roughly 12 types and I believe I could possibly have hEDS. But I'm not entirely sure. Symptoms for hEDS are:

joint hypermobility - Yep I definitely have this one. I cannot put my hand straight at all, it's like my fingers lock into this weird position. I thought this was normal but I realised it wasn't when I started playing card games with my friends and I struggled to hold the cards in that fan way. My hands are like this:

The Sexism In Disabilities: How Being a Girl Has Made It Easier
The Sexism In Disabilities: How Being a Girl Has Made It Easier

Yeah, I know it's freaky, you don't need to tell me. Again, this is just my left hand. My right hand is double-jointed but I can still put it straight.
joint pain and clicking joints - Sometimes at night, I do get joint pain. I don't really tell anyone about it because there's nothing anyone can really do about it, so there's no point disturbing anyone's sleep over it. I usually just try my best to sleep it off, or lay awake and try and think about something funny to distract me from it. Clicking joints? Yep. I have that one too my knuckles click in and out of place all the time and dislocate. Again I know that's freaky.
extreme tiredness (fatigue) - I usually get this in my left shoulder, I stretch to try and make it feel better, but again, I don't really tell anyone about it because there's nothing anyone can do to fix it, so what is the point? It goes away eventually. It also happens when I carry something which is heavy for me.
skin that bruises easily - Yep I have bruises all the time which I can't explain. Even a shove could bruise me lol, but the bruises don't stay forever so that's a good thing.
digestive problems, such as heartburn and constipation. - I don't get this.
dizziness and an increased heart rate after standing up. - I don't get this one either.

Why I think being a girl has made it slightly easier for me.

I don't really know how to say this without sounding like a complete meanie. I don't want to say this in a sense, because I don't agree with it but at the same time I do because there is a lot of truth to it.

I think being a girl has made having a disability, easier for me.

Firstly, the disability makes me weaker, physically. And the majority of people don't mind a physically weak girl, some actually find it pretty cute. I don't get made fun of if I can't lift something, or if I need help physically with something. Kids have even brushed past me by mistake and apologised even though they barely touched me. If I had been a guy, society isn't as empathic or helpful to a physically weak guy. If a physically weak guy can't lift something a lot of people would call him things like "pussy" and tell him stuff like "man up" instead of helping him.

Or like I live in a city, which has a pretty shady city center so there's a good chance of me getting attacked on the way to college when I have to walk through there. As you can imagine it's pretty hard for me to defend myself. If a guy was to attack me, I feel like there's more of a chance that people will come to my aid and help me, because I'm a small girl. But if I was a guy I feel like more people would walk past expecting me to fight back, if I was getting attacked by another guy and say I was getting attacked by a woman and I was a guy, people would most likely laugh.

Then there's appearance. You can't exactly build lots of muscle mass with hemiplegia or hEDS. And because I'm a girl that isn't frowned upon. I can get away with having a soft skinny appearance. But if I was a guy, again, some people might view me as those derogatory terms I mentioned earlier. I've even seen questions on here stating that "real men" are men who look like Chris Hemsworth, basically muscular and super ripped. But when you have hemiplegia and/or hEDS you can't exactly look like Chris Hemsworth.

Then there's just the whole "masculinity" thing in general. Guys are encouraged to take up sports like boxing and other martial arts because it improves their "masculinity" but anyone who has hemiplegia or any form of EDS is advised to stay away from weight lifting and combat sports.

So in a sense, I'm really thankful that I was born a girl because I personally believe a guy with hemiplegia and/or any form of EDS has it so much harder than I do.

And if you're thinking: "Well, if a guy had hemiplegia and/or a form of EDS wouldn't you be able to see it?"

Not always. Hemiplegia and EDS are described as "invisible disabilities", a lot of people think I just have a limp. Because you can't see all the symptoms people don't always know until you tell them and explain it to them. And sometimes you don't want to explain or tell them because of two reasons: pity or they might just think you're making up excuses and both can get really frustrating.

Now before you go saying things I mentioned above, are sexist- I agree with you. It's incredibly sexist and I don't agree with it.

See many people look down on a weaker guy, who doesn't have a strong figure like Chris Hemsworth, who can get beaten up by a woman, and some will even go as far as saying he isn't a "real man" and then complain about his "masculinity". But people who do that in my eyes are sick. Because you don't know why some guys might be like that.

They could have a disability. Something could have happened to them. Or it might just be not for them.

But some people don't care about reasoning. The way they see it he's a dude, so he should be this way. And it shouldn't be like that.

I've talked about sexism against women a lot since I was 11 I became aware of sexism against women, but as I've grown older I've seen it happens to guys in different ways too.

Sexism can happen to men or women so let's come together and help each other stop it from both sides.

I hope you learned something from this MyTake and I hope it was an interesting read for you, and if it wasn't then at least it was free.

Thank you for reading. :)

BTW: I don't know why this is in the "sexuality" section, I meant to put it in the "Health and Fitness" section.

The Sexism In Disabilities: How Being a Girl Has Made It Easier
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Anonymous

    Well statistics say otherwise. At least in dating, you will see more able-bodied women dating a disabled man, then vice versa. Because women are more of a care-takers and less visual/shallow. Man care about looks more then women.
    I miss both upper limbs (was born like that) so I know what I'm saying, trust me. It's really hard out there for a physically, visually noticeable disabled woman. And the worst part about it is that no one will tell you honestly why they rejected you, they are all so freaking nice all the time it makes me sick.

    • Thank you for sharing this opinion.☺

      I can't imagine how much of a struggle it must be, and the fact they can't be honest about it makes me sick too.

      Note I wasn't speaking about all disabilities just my own partial ones. I can't write from your perspective because I don't have your disability but I do understand what you mean about people being "nice" (or trying to be) when rejecting you for something.

    • morrowlow

      i understand what you're saying but i really don't think the average disabled guy out there has it any better

  • mistixs

    Some of these are true, but medically, women have it harder in other ways too. Like women's health symptoms are more likely to be dismissed; doctors take men more seriously. www.today.com/.../gender-bias-health-care-may-be-harming-women-s-health-t133583

    • That can be true. And I'm not saying women have a completely easy ride when it comes to healthcare, I'm just talking from my personal experience.

      Thank you for sharing this article and opinion :) <3

    • That's because men don't visit the doctor nearly as much as women for insecurity reasons so when they do, doc knows some bad shit is happening.

    • @AircraftCarrier That is an absurd generalisation to make. Some women may visit the doctor for any little thing, and some men may visit the doctor for any little thing. But not all women will, nor will all men.

      Don't generalise.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guys

  • Lemia

    My muscle condition isn't List here but It can be put in. the same class as the others as it effects my whole body and limits movements.

    • What is it called? :)

    • Lemia

      Its called Hypotonia.

    • I just googled it. I'm sorry you have that. And hey, so sure you might not have a lot of muscle mass, you may be weak physically- but you're also really strong for being able to deal with that. Don't let anyone bring you down over it. :) <3

    • Show All
  • Kiddo5678

    Disabled guy here yea other men are horrible to me. People have no sense of the fact I have large limitations.

    • People can be so insensitive. Ignore them, know you're stronger than any of them because I bet with their deluded minds they couldn't spend a day in your shoes. :) <3

    • Kiddo5678

      Actual most of them have mild problem and it the end of the world. Guys are either the most caring and loyal frenids or selfish pricks.

What Girls & Guys Said

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  • tartaarsaus

    Kinda wanna say this before I say anything else: it is likely that it is put in the sexuality section simply because you used a single sexual word.

    Like I had once written a MyTake on stupid conspiracies related to do with Jews, and there was this theory in Gaza that Israelis meddle with contraception to corrupt Palestinian girls and eliminate the Palestinians that way. I used the word 'vagina' and 'sex' in it, and it would automatically be flagged a sexual topic. If I removed them, it would be whatever I wanted. But this is a while back.

    -----------------------------------------------------

    Anyway, going back to the MyTake.

    It's nice you described what those disabilities are for you, and I imagine it sucks.

    Anyway, I can see what you mean with the sexism thing. I'm not so sure about some people helping a girl more quickly if she gets beaten up than a guy, I just think this really depends on what it looks like. If it is a frail short guy (like you are with 5'1) getting beaten up, I imagine some people would help.

    Glossing over that, yep. With guys there sometimes is the perception that guys have to be tall, strong, muscular and whatever to be a real guy, whereas girls don't experience that as much (correct me if I'm wrong). I disagree with that.

    There is this guy I know from uni. He's 5'5 and quite frail in terms of body type. It is not like he can fundamentally change his body type nor his length.

    He's a confident, intelligent, gentle, empathetic and funny dude. I don't think he is less of a guy simply because he happens to be genetically predisposed towards a less stereotypical body type. He is a really great dude.

    Fuck that notion of guys having to be ripped to be masculine. 'You do you' is what I usually think of it.

    • Oh I forgot it.

      Nice take, really well written.

    • Oh the story on the conspiracy theory was wrong. But that's not the point

    • Yeah exactly.

      I know some guys similar to the guy you described and they're great guys- I don't care if they're not masculine or whatever. "You do you" - one of my favourite mottos :P

      Thank you :)

    • Show All
  • Sarath_11_

    Wow nice take.. lots of information I've been seeking. My hands are also like that when holded straight. I always wondered why it's like that. But I think my hand is more flexible than others. I can type faster than my friends. So I can't see joint hypermobility as a disability. But it looks weird when you hold it straight...

    • Oh cool. Glad I could help you.

      It's not just joint hypermobility that is EDS though, some people can have joint hypermobility and not have EDS :)

  • Sensmind

    Very educational first part of the take - I am sorry you have hemiplegia but glad you seem to be coping with it - The second part is interesting, you don't think about it but it is probably quite true - Well done, very good take

    • Thank you :)

      You don't have to be sorry, I'm managing just fine with it- that's enough for me. ;P

      And as for the second part, I've had a lot of time on my hands recently, and I've just been thinking about things. This was one of those things. xD

  • GhostNigga

    Guys really appreciate the part you put in your take for them. Trust me when I say you hit a very big nail on the head there n by the time you're grown it might be everyone's opinion.

    • Hopefully, a lot of the people of my generation won't stand for this sexism so hopefully, things can change for guys and girls :) <3

  • A-man-22

    Agreed,
    Men don't get their issues listened too as much as they should.
    I'm glad women get listened to when it comes to personal issues.

    We should work together to make sure that stigmas change to allow men to be listened to.

  • You are very observant with society's faults and how people's prejudices can do more harm than good. I congratulate you sister. Now it is the job of those who see that injustice to choose to break that mold and do what is right for righteousness sake. You will go far my sister.

  • Dav1ss

    It's a grey take and you've got me worried if I have one of the conditions above lol are they strictly genetic or no? I definitely have joint hypermobility

    • The majority of the time they are genetic, but in some rare cases, it just happens.

      I mean do you have the other symptoms I listed? Because you can have joint hypermobility without having a form of EDS.

      But here's something which can explain it better than I can:
      www.nhs.uk/conditions/ehlers-danlos-syndromes/

      Sorry for worrying you and I hope this helps. :)

    • Dav1ss

      Well I've had times where I'd wake up and my legs just wouldn't move they are very weak at times lack precision I'm not sure tbh might just be bc I'm weak

    • EDS could be the reason you're weak. I'm unsure if I have EDS as well.

    • Show All
  • Sevenpointfive

    question was moved to sexuality because of the sexy hand pics. :D

  • Ellie-V

    I agree. Nice take.

  • There is simply less awareness for men's health and mental health in society than for women. I dont believe this is a masculinity issue.

  • jojouzumaki

    this was great - thanks for sharing it.

  • My cousin has hemiplegia and a few other disabilities like scoliosis. I know that other guys are horrible to him. He's struggled throughout school with people bullying him and him being unable to do stuff because the teachers don't understand how to help him. He's moved several school and this year he's managed to finish his GCSES and leave school and he is so happy! I understand what you are saying about society not being empathic towards a physically weak guy because this definitely applies to my cousin. Also I congratulate you girl, you are incredibly strong and will go far :)

    • That's really good, he still didn't let all that mistreatment and judgment get in the way of his GCSEs- he's stronger than any bully or teacher who misunderstood or judged him, tell him I said that. xD

      And thank you :) <3

  • Being a guy I relate to this sometimes as someone having couple of disabilities.

    • Well, I'm glad I wrote something in which you can relate to, but it shouldn't be that way- I am sorry.

      :)

    • Why are you sorry?

    • I mean that you guys have to deal with these judgments from society and things. I mean as a girl I deal with other kinds of judgments but in reality- nobody should be facing them.

  • incelposting

    Might as well put: Existing, how being a girl has made it easier.

    • No, not really because the disabilities I have or may have doesn't define the whole of my existence.

      There have been other instances in my life, where being a girl has made things harder and had I been a guy things probably would have been easier.

  • dont think anyone wants to date a disability chick

  • Joker_

    Your hand is freaky

  • yikeserino

    As a woman with chronic illness, I agree.

    • Thank you. :)

      How does your illness affect you if you don't mind me asking? If you feel uncomfortable answering I completely understand. :)

    • Everything, so I'll be blunt. I have SLE. Getting here was not easy, but having an illness that more women than men have was a huge advantage.

  • Wowgirl30q

    Very very nice I love it

  • Aphrodite801

    Wtf is this?

    • I don't understand what is wrong with what I have written. Can you explain?

    • Who are you to say being a disabled girl is easier than being a disabled guy?

    • I'm not saying that.

      I have a disability myself. As a girl, I personally believe because of some of the standards society have created about guys, that from that perspective a guy with my condition might be judged by society because he does not live up to those standards.

      Did you even read the MyTake?

    • Show All
  • Babygirl_S

    Good mytake👍🏻. I agree that guys have it harder.

  • Nice take, well done :))

  • happy122

    I guess Gil's bones r stronger

    • happy122

      I meant nerves sorry I'm opinion on a lot of things I meant to say is girls nerves are better then us boys I don't know why but they r

    • What makes you say that? It must be something.

  • shinka1y234

    Good take!

  • Anonymous

    yeah. of all the disabled people that i've met, the girls were in a better mental and emotional state and were overall happier than boys with disability. and i think that's because of the way society treats them

    • I definitely agree with you about society thing.

      Hopefully, we can eliminate gender bias aka sexism, for both men and women. <3

  • Anonymous

    It’s all about societies expectations on men, women have a lot of societal expectations as well but as you mentioned they are a lot less physically demanding so in this instance men would have it worse, a big issue I could see is dating, men who have disabilities tend to have an extremely rough and sparse dating life, usually ending in being alone for long periods of time, and your right sexism does happen to men and women and society is finally starting too notice that men face very similar issues that women do just different, and It’s nice to see a woman noticing this it gives me hope

    • Thank you.

      I don't want sexism or any form of discrimination in this society I grow up in. :)

  • Anonymous

    I'd love me a beautiful Indian chick. 😘

    • Sorry? I don't understand what that has to do with this MyTake.

    • Anonymous

      I was complimenting you. Geez

    • Anonymous

      And I didn't notice sexism in disability

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