Just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you get to handle situations with immaturity.

[hsshannah96]

Dear Introverts,

NOBODY, and I mean nobody besides other introverts, could read your mind.

just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you use THAT as your “rationale” (more like excuse) to give the silent treatment and suddenly never speak to someone after NO argument occurred so the person has no idea what they did

to not look them in the eyes

to grunt and only answer with one word phrases

seriously. It’s childish and immature. Full stop

didn’t like hearing this? Tough shit. get over it

[Anonymous]

... I am very introverted, and don't do that-- well, not when it's impolite.

From what I've been told, being introverted is not "being terrible at socializing." It's more like "socializing drains you." Being alone is how you recharge.

If I've been told correctly, then extroverts are the opposite: being alone is tiring or boring, and being with friends or others is how you feel good/ recharge.

So, although I don't think most introverts would just blatantly give you the cold shoulder, please consider that social interaction isn't as easy for them as for you, and it isn't as beneficial.

Consider if I asked you (I assume an extrovert) to please, if ever encountering someone or a group of people who aren't a very close friend, never try to engage them in small talk or even really pay attention to them. Just for goodness sake leave them be. They don't WANT to talk to you. It's rude to assume you are the most important thing they have to engage with at any given time. Just, be quiet and do your own thing.

Would that be extremely easy for you to do in every social setting? Every day? I doubt it would be, but maybe I'm wrong. I would guess it would be frustrating to be cut off from nearly all social interaction even when you are around people frequently.

Well, it's sort of like that. I can and do engage in small talk with people in social settings, just out of politeness, if I need to. But most of the time I'm not the center of attention, people are doing what they are there for, and I don't need to pull anyone aside to talk to them. Even still, after most social events, I am sick of it and just want to stop being around people and be alone.

When I'm in that mood, or have barely gotten home and it turns out there's a friend coming over, it's not so easy to just perk up again and engage in a friendly chat. It's not easy. It's not fun. It's not their fault. I'm just tired of it and I don't enjoy much company at all, it often has nothing to do with them. So even though I will still interact with them, it probably won't be extremely convincing when I try to sound interested or engaged-- especially when the conversation really isn't important..

It's a real chore sometimes. I don't always do it well. But I do it. And I'm sorry that you feel some people are being unfair or unkind to you by not doing it to what you assume to be reasonable standards.

[hsshannah96]

I’m referring to people I did become close with

Those friendships always have to end because they can’t communicate

[hsshannah96]

They’re OBVIOUSLY upset with me and nothing I could do would fix anything

But they choose not to talk about it and then it all sucks

I have to ditch them

[Opinion Owner]

Well I can probably tell you some of why that happens:
It's infinitely more complicated, risky, and exhausting to confront people than it is simply to interact with them.

Especially if the problem is serious or sensitive, because it will likely inflame a whole array of negative emotions in both people and make the confrontation that much more combative.

Especially if the person doesn't have a similar pattern of thinking/reasoning as me, because that makes it so much harder to communicate even when I do put the effort in to do so; we just don't have the same lines of thought, and I may not even understand how yours works, so I don't even know if anything will even be solved and I'll just have to do it over again.

Especially if it's not absolutely necessary that I fix it-- because fortunately or unfortunately, I have never invested in a friendship to the point I would not be able to deal with it breaking down and us going our separate ways.

I personally do not have any serious friendships (yet). And the ones I have are mainly a result of being around the person frequently, irrelevant of the friendship (ie work, school, neighbors) and when that frequent, necessary proximity stops.. well, so do most of the friendships.

[Opinion Owner]

It's not that I don't value those friendships, but they take a lot of work-- a LOT of work. So many people don't realize how hard it is to have a good friend and be a good friend. Communication is one of the hardest parts of that.

But now I'm not sure exactly what you're upset (if that's the right word) about. In the question it sounded like they were the ones ditching, not like you were the one. Lack of communication or poor communication is common for a lot more people than just introverts. If they're anything like me though it probably was mainly a result of either being distracted and just oblivious to the problem, or they were aware of it but not quite how to properly fix it, and/or got cold feet every time they planned to actually deal with it.

I don't think based on what you said that they intentionally ignored you and just think you're not worth their time. But I know it's really easy to make that mistake, or to mistakenly assume that.

I'm not sure what else to say and I'm sure I've typed long enough. I don't know if this helped at all. Sorry if not, which is likely.

[hsshannah96]

So they’re not an introvert

They just use that to disguise that their communication skills are shit

and if an issue comes up they won’t know how to handle it correctly

[Opinion Owner]

I mean it could be both. No introverts aren't the only people who are bad at communicating, but being introverted often means you don't have as much experience communicating/ aren't as naturally good at it, at least often that is probably the case.

So chances are they're more likely to be an introvert than not, but mainly it seems the issue is poor communication skills, which isn't really the same thing, just often associated with introversion.

[hsshannah96]

it isn’t often associated with introversion

I know two introverts who have great communication skills

Having autism and being an introvert aren’t the same

[hsshannah96]

Ah the person who barely has friendships is telling me advice 😂😂😂😂 sorry that’s funny

[Opinion Owner]

I mean I did say I'm probably not the best person to give advice on this. But I do know what doesn't work, so that's something. (And I think I mentioned I do /have/ friends, they just aren't /close/ friends, and that's the main difference.)

You know 2 that are, okay. How many introverts do you know who aren't good at communicating? (And I should probably have specified "socially" because I'm great at communicating ideas and such. It's just people that I'm not so good at.) I know extroverts who are bad at communicating, but that doesn't mean most of them are (although that's possible ig).

And being autistic and being bad at communicating aren't the same thing either.. yeah it is associated with it, but you don't /have/ to be autistic or on the spectrum to be bad at communicating socially-- at least not to my knowledge.

[hsshannah96]

alright

I just don’t agree on the autism and bad communication

And introversion and bad communication

[Opinion Owner]

Okay. I guess to that I'd just mention that I'm not (or almost definitely not. I've never been "officially" tested) autistic, even though I'm bad at communicating.

I'm probably just wrong on the bad communication being associated with introversion thing though, if you have experience that suggests otherwise. I really don't have much to go on, so that would just have been a poor assumption on my part.

[hsshannah96]

No I think bad communication is usually something that’s attached to a mental illness
Even if not autism

[hsshannah96]

Oh ok

[Opinion Owner]

Ah, well that may be the case, yeah.
Good point.

Well good luck with your question.

[Emilia_45]

Whoever did that to you is not an introvert, but an imbecile. Stop bringing down intoverts as a whole, just because one of them happens to be rude does not mean all of them are. It doesn’t make sense, if for example, an extrovert hit me, i wouldn’t suddenly blame all extroverts for that. Your example does not apply to all introverts, but your lack of understanding human behaviour does apply to all idiots.

[hsshannah96]

Sorry, I know THREE introverts who did this

[Emilia_45]

And i know 1 extrovert who deletes answers just because they don’t like being called out on their bs and brings an ENTIRE type of personality down. So, i don’t think you’re any better. I think your problems go deeper than just hating introverts, so i suggest you get them treated for your own good.

[hsshannah96]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[hsshannah96]

I have better reason to not like them

[TallAnon]

Honestly, I don't even know why you would get that idea. I'm 100% an introvert, but that doesn't mean I'm not judgmental or assertive. Hell, I'm an INTJ-A. Introverted, Intuitive, Thinker, Judger, Assertive. Being introverted basically just means you value your time alone, which is only a tiny part of your mind and personality.

[hsshannah96]

Good for you

[topur]

Why you're mad?
What happened really?

It seems that you're trying to punish someone that isn't here to read this, lol

I know a lot of introverts that aren't like this and I know a lot of extroverts who don't answer and change the subject when they don't want to answer.

[hsshannah96]

at least we answer

Y’all just ghost

Oh please 😂😂

[hsshannah96]

I know like so many introverts

They do the same damn thing

They ignore people if they have a issue with them

How about communication

[topur]

Lol, take easy, just try to speak to those people or leave them. Coming here to express your anger might help today, but it's not solving your problem

[hsshannah96]

I tried that

[hsshannah96]

talking to them doesn’t solve it either :(

[topur]

Well, move on. It's their loss

[Anonymous]

I’m an introvert, and this is not correct. You need to understand that for us, it’s hard to approach people. For me, at least, I start freaking out if I need to talk to someone new and it’s one of the most terrifying things ever. I love talking to people, though. It’s just hard with new people. You also need to understand that it physically drains us to be around people for a long time. After a while at a party, my head literally starts throbbing and I need an escape. It’s not that we don’t like people, it’s just that we don’t want to be around them 24/7
I know you think that we’re all being immature, but really it’s just a stressful situation for us. Imagine yourself in a terrifying situation. Do you think you would be completely calm and normal? If you were falling off a bridge, wouldn’t it be stupid if people were criticizing you for screaming?

[hsshannah96]

In many many cases it is unfortunately
Glad it doesn’t apply to you

[hsshannah96]

If talking to someone is scary, you have social anxiety
Being introverted just means you prefer being alone

The issue is many introverts use social inadequacies to justify calling themselves introverts

[Opinion Owner]

No, I’m an introvert, and I happen to have social anxiety too.

[hsshannah96]

I’m not saying they never come together

I’m just saying your case is not the common thing

The common thing is people not being open about having both

[crazy8000]

Learn this.
It's a spectrum there intro and extro is an extreme on each end.

Majority of humans fall into ambivert area that happens to be about 50% of the scale. about 25% on each side of the middle line.

Yes.
Some intro are immatur and doesn't want to stand for and blame thing's like this.

If you're shy just be honest about it instead of coming with immature emotional driven response/behavior.

Even those on the introverted side can learn to communicate better in a clear and very easy understandable way.
It's just a matter of will power to become a better version of themselves.

[0112358]

Most people who say they’re introvert aren’t. They’re just shy, socially anxious ambiverts or even extroverts. But introvert sounds like a character trait as opposed to a poor coping mechanism so they latch onto that.

[hsshannah96]

My mom is an introvert and she isn’t scared of socializing

She just prefers to not have too much conversation and to be alone

[0112358]

THAT is a real introvert.

[J2ohhhhh]

My friend's daughter who is now two years old always a dick to me when I visit. And in the last 5 minutes when I'm about to leave she comes to play and hangout and when I leave she cries. It is funny how defensive people got who do the same at age of 20. "I ain't childish just because act like a 2 years old, I'm an introvert!"

[TonyBologna25]

A lot of people like to disguise their lack of social aptitude as introversion.

[hsshannah96]

I have noticed

[MeatPuppet]

Social ineptitude and introversion are like sugar and diabetes. They are related.

[hsshannah96]

@MeatPuppet oh

[Hunter7754]

To me, this sounds more like social ineptitude as opposed to being an introvert.

I consider myself more introverted but I do hold eye contact, and try to be pleasant when I'm in a conversation with someone. Its been a challenge for me though because I'm on the spectrum.

To me this sounds like it was aimed more at someone specific. Have you tried talking to them? Maybe they're unaware of how their behavior is coming off?

[hsshannah96]

Yeah I tried talking to them

[pajamasam]

It feels like people use introversion as a stand in for a personality, and that's lame.

[kespethdude]

Actually, even the other introverts can't read your mind. Other than that, this is very accurate.

[DanOh2018]

You should just send this to whoever pissed you off directly sweetheart.

[hsshannah96]

I did
They didn’t like it but whatever

I told off the three people who ghosted me

And I am not friends with them anymore

[Liam_Hayden]

If people don't want to converse with us, we can rant and rave and waste our time and energy, or we can simply move on and enjoy life.

[hsshannah96]

I would just kill myself honestly

Everybody abandons me

[Anonymous]

The behaviors you described here have nothing at all to do with whether someone is an introvert or an extrovert.

[hsshannah96]

YouTube even said this is how introverts show they’re mad

[Opinion Owner]

YouTube said so? LMAO!

[Opinion Owner]

YouTube also said that is how women show they are mad, sooooo...

[MrTaboo]

You have no idea what introverted is do you?

And this sounds very specific, like it was one person. You need to talk to that person.

[hsshannah96]

Tried.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Is that a challenge?