My father molested my sister, how do I face this?

[Anonymous]

I'm 17. When I was around 12 my sister who is 7 years older than me told me while she was in a fight with my dad that he wasn't as great as a guy as I thought. Turns out he molested her when she was younger. Ever since then I haven't looked at him the same. I understand my strange feelings towards him that I couldn't explain, like thinking he was looking at my butt and angleing myself in certain ways to escape a certain gaze. She seems over it but I have a feeling it still bothers her. My mom walked in on it happening but they stayed together. This has been pushed so far under the rug, we have never spoken of it ever. I'm not sure if he molested me and that's something I struggle with. Everything in my life is perfect except my family life. I love both my parents so much but I just don't have much connection to either of them. I don't know what to do or if I should ever bring it up? This haunts me almost every day. I may not get sad over it but I'll have subconscious thoughts about it occasionally. Do I ever bring this up? I don't want to break my family. But I also don't want to die never bringing this up again. I don't want to hurt my mom and cause conflict. I'm going to college this fall in a few months so I'm not sure what to do. This hurts me. Thanks. Ps my parents don't know I know & I don't know if they've ever told anyone themselves.

[HoneyBunny420]

I'm so sorry to hear that :( it's the ultimate betrayal of a parent. It must be really confusing knowing that your mum knows yet chose to stay with him. We love our parents even when they hurt us but that doesn't mean you have to be close if they don't act in a healthy way.
I recommend speaking to a professional about it. You may at some point want discuss it with your sister and/or mum. You might find writing a letter helps, whether it's just to get your thoughts down, send it, or to hand it over in person without having to worry about getting the right words out. Considering you're starting college soon, focus on yourself. Your sister would need to seek professional help too, it's a lot harder dealing with that sort of abuse when you have the added worry of destroying relationships. Please talk to professional though, it will help a lot and they can help you figure out how to broach the subject

[Anonymous]

For now, talk to a third person. An adult, a teacher, a counselor... someone you can trust and who will have your best interest at hand. Eventually, you will become an adult, and maybe a parent yourself. Then, you will understand where your parents went wrong, and how much you are willing to forgive and keep in your life those who hurt your children.

[Onyx277]

That's awful that your mother stayed with him after he molested your sister. Bringing it up will create more conflict, but keeping it down will be hard too. If you don't feel much of a connection with either of them and you are going off to college, maybe just keep contact to a minimum so you can start moving on with your own life.

[Anonymous]

This is clearly one of those deep family secrets. If I were you, I'd keep quiet and wait till you are in college. Focus on yourself. Im surprised your family still stayed together.

[ironeddie]

This is the kind of thing that you need to see a professional therapist about.

[awesome19]

What happened happened u can't change that follow what u feel is right t o do and do it

[BertMacklinFBI]

if you can, just go to college and see how you are then. college may help a lot.

[Toadette]

I would bring it up and I would dismiss him from my life. I have absolutely zero tolerance for child molesters.

[NYkid27]

You and your sister should go to the police. Your dad is a pedophile and eventually he'll hurt another little girl if he hasn't already