Should I tell my family my brother in law molested me when I was a kid?

A long time ago, my sisters husband molested me when I was around 7-9 years old.
i didn't tell anyone back then because I didn't know it was a bad thing.
i didn't even remember or realize how bad it was till I was 14. And then I just thought it was too late to tell anyone.
but I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I feel like I should tell someone.

The thing is they have a child together. If I told them, my sister would probably break up with him and she would be left a single mother. And he would probably never even see his kid. I would break up a family... and I break up a couple that has been together for 18 years.. I don't feel like it's even worth ruining a family over something that happened over 10 years ago.

Updates:
Im also nervous that it would happen to their daughter, who is 3.
Plus I have a 13 year old niece, it could of happened to her too. She seems to dislike him, maybe that dislike came from him molesting her? I don't know. It's hard to tell them. But I think I will try

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You wouldn't be his first and only there would definitely be other victims and future victims.
    Two of aunties were molested by their brother inlaw. He also molested his 2 nieces , his own 3 daughters, daughters friends and the neighbors kids. He is a monster. 18 women came forward but only 11 of them were strong enough to take him to court.
    Think not only about yourself but think of the other potential victims.
    Did they have a boy or a girl?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • yeah! you need to tell them man. I'm so sorry it happened to you, but you need to make sure it doesn't happen to anyone else

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 14

  • Tell someone about it (better your mother and father).
    Sorry that you went through that. I hope things get better for you. 💜

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  • Most definitely, there's only one answer to this question and it's a yes. Find someone to talk to, and I'm sure everyone else here in the comments have said the same. Good luck💛 Dont be nervous, in this situation you're never to blame. Better now then never~

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  • Yes. You never know who you'll end up saving.

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    • you would want to know if your husband molested your sister or several kids in your family

    • @Kenni absolutely. I'd also fully cooperate in helping law enforcement prosecute him and that would be the fastest divorce the world ever saw.
      There are some actions and crimes that are completely inexcusable and unforgivable. This would be one.

  • Yes you should before she ruins more kids (I'm not saying you're ruined) but sometimes that can put a huge emotional toll on children in some cases to kids even try to commit suicide also if I had a husband that molested my brother and I found out about it I would raise 7 kinds of hell and I would be incredibly glad someone told me

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  • I'd tell, especially if he has a kid. People who do that shit often reoffend.

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  • No, he could be doing it to the little kid. Tell your sister

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  • You need to tell someone. Start with your mother.

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  • if he did this to you he could do this to anyone, it's better to save those people

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  • I would tell at least one close person something like that shouldn't be withheld

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  • I say do it.

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  • You shouldn't, it's too late. They would surely think you're lying.

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  • First of all, this is very important, so you have to do something. I advise you to first talk to a school counselor or any one else. Make sure you are remembering correctly.. You don't want to ruin their relationship and someone's life for your mistake. Tell your mom, counselor, or even your sister if you feel comfortable. Remember that's it's important for you to do something and realize if what you think happened really happened for your, your sister, your niece, and any other child's sake.

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  • It's better to raise a child on her own rather than with a fucking pedophile. You should tell, people deserve to know who that pig truly is and you deserve peace

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  • He SHOULDN'T see his kid. Tell on him. Tell everyone.

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What Guys Said 14

  • A classmate was put up to something like this in her childhood, she is 15 now but earlier this year she found out her whole family has been molested by that 1 person and they all held it secret for the whole time.. You should really share it with her, that girl is miserable right now, if you have the chance don't let it reoccur, it's difficult for people around them to even see them the same way sometimes :(

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  • Damn this is serious... I would tell someone though, he could be doing this to other unsuspecting kids too

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  • If i was you, I'd speak to a mental health professional to get to the bottom of it all and make sure you are actually remembering things correctly.. especially at that age.. 7 to 9 is a big gap to not know exactly what age this supposedly happened.. could be a false memories caused by a different trauma..

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  • Tell your mom. And let her decide on what's best.

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  • How old was he when this happened?

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    • I think he's around 35 right now. So he was around 24 ish

    • Wow, ok , sorry to hear that. You are right to be concerned about their daughter. I would highly recommend talking to a professional about this and have them help you disclose this to your family.

  • Yeah you should tell them. He could be a danger to his own kid, if not then to other kids.

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  • Tell someone. It sucks, but it's better that people know rather than risking the wait

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  • I think you should tell. You could spare someone else what happened to you.

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  • How old was he whenit happened?

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  • Tell someone this could still be taken to court

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  • Yes.

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  • Tell the police if you don't he could even do it to his daughter

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  • Nope.

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  • I would, but I know it's difficult. I would tell to prevent him from doing it to someone else.

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