My "friend" moved away without saying goodbye. Should I drop her?

[supervixxen]

I've been friends with this girl since high school, and with another girl, we were a trio. We all went to different colleges, but stayed in close contact over all 4 years. I drove 4 hours to her "goodbye" party when she studied abroad and when my family moved one hour away from our hometown, I made numerous drives to go see her and our other friend to keep up our friendship. They never came to see me.

Since they graduated in May and I'm about to graduate, they were done and hanging out in our hometown while I'm finishing up my studies, which they knew. They did come down to meet me for a soccer game a couple of months ago and I told them my summer plans when asked. I said I was finishing school, interning and hanging out in my college town, about 2 hours away from our hometown. When I heard my friend got a job in Texas, I was happy for her and wished her well. It wasn't until about a week ago I saw on Facebook that she and my other friend met up for a "fairwell" hangout and was saying she's moving in a couple of days. Of course, the girl is smart and told our friend to take the picture down bc anyone (including me) could see it. But I was pretty angry she couldn't even make arrangesments to say goodbye to me when she's traveled to see friends all over AND because I've done so much to see her. She even drove 4 hours to say goodbye to her college friends! I just want validation that it's a good idea to not only drop the moving friend, but the other friend too. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Nope. Never drop a friend. It's pointless and makes no sense to me. What do you gain by dropping her? I'll tell you nothing it's more of a sad experience then a satisfying one. What do you gain by keeping opportunities for communication open? A hell of a lot more. You don't have to keep trying to be super close to her but no reason to abandon her. You don't even really have to try but at least leave the door open. You may never know exactly who she'll be or how she'll feel about you in the future

[Sadly_It_Fell_Off]

For me, I would drop those type of friends because they have already kinda dropped you too. No point beating a dead horse. If they can't be bothered to be friends, then why bother being a friend back? To me, it would be a done deal. Sad story though.

[supervixxen]

yeah it is sad. the girl who moved away will still occasionally talk to me on social media and like my instagram posts but won't even own up to the fact that she did that to me. what am i? a fool to her?

[Sadly_It_Fell_Off]

No, you're not a fool to her, because I think it hasn't even crossed her mind about how she treated you. I think it's a life stage thing, where everyone is going off in different directions to do different things and, sadly, sometimes, people that were once important then become kinda irrelevant. Sometimes, we just move on without realising what we've left behind.

[supervixxen]

but why after being friends for years someone that "important" to you doesn't even cross your mind?

i feel like that's a theme with a lot of people that are my "friends" or important to me personally. my feelings or my own self doesn't even cross their mind when they do things, even if i've been there for them.

[supervixxen]

she obviously considered our other friend..

[Sadly_It_Fell_Off]

I think only she can answer that. Obviously the other two have strong contact if they are going to the same venues or making the effort to see each other. You would have to be direct with them and ask them both for their reasons.

[Stacyzee]

I'd probably still talk to her but I would never make an effort to see her again if she ever came back in town.

I'd leave it all up to her.

[supervixxen]

That's also a smart choice. I just decided to delete her from social media and move on with life. If she cares to reconnect, she knows how to get in touch with me. But I think this was my last straw. She was also moving to the state that I'm FROM, which is even more terrible that she couldn't say anything.

[Stacyzee]

I had a friend that was like her.
I tried to speak to her but sooner our relationship became more of a hassle to me.
I felt like I was trying to much to keep our friendship alive.
I spoke to her... but barely.
Eventually I deleted her phone number and took her off of my social media sites.
She would request to be my friend.
I added her (and saw she never sent me a message).
So months later I re-moved her again.
Years later, she re-quests a friendship again seeming like she wanted to reconnect as friends.
I didn't buy this... I knew all she wanted to know was my personal life and then disappear again.
Some people are just better left in the past.
Some friendships dry out over time.
I know it hurts... but you will regain great friendship with someone else.

[noodles4navi]

No mybe she isn't good at goodbyes

[SHMBO2]

I would say drop her