How do I tell my boyfriend I don't like him talking to this other girl?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my boyfriend for like a decade- Long time.

There's this girl that's friends with all his guy friends. He hides his friendship with her because he knows I'd get mad.

So instead I find out by snooping. Pics of them in a group. My boyfriends face against hers and another guy on the other side of her. Should I show him this picture?

She left him a voice mail saying she texted him inviting him out with a bunch of people and said she's doing something special for him by calling him instead of texting again.

I've only met her once a few years ago. my boyfriend said she told his friend she thought I was hot, like I bet she thinks that's her giving me the "seal of approval"? I've been with him SO LONG, who does she think she is?

I want to tell him to lose her number and tell her to do the same. He denies he has her number but I know he does.

If he has to hide it it's already inappropriate.

I want to show him the pics I found online from a few years ago of this girl there ALL the time (that my boyfriend left me home saying he was out with "all guys" which wasn't true)

and confront him about her calling him.

But what if he then tells me too bad, I'm keeping her number?

He told me years ago to get rid of my guy friends numbers so I did.

Should I tell him OK then I'll have guy numbers? But I don't WANT guy numbers! I don't even care!

I'm so depressed and in a downward spiral from all this with my emotions.

[GAGIRL1980]

I think if you demand he lose her number you will probably lose him. And if you want him to be more open about the friendship you are going to have to be a little more accepting. I would talk to him about maybe having it where if he's going to hang out with her you are included in that. Maybe even double date or something? That way, you can get to know her better, and maybe you will feel less threatened. I would tell him, however, that what goes for him goes for you and that if he can have female friends, you can have guy friends. He might not like it as much when the shoe is on the other foot. I have a very close guy friend, and I can honestly say there is no sexual relationship. But he recently got married and out of respect for his wife, now if he and I hang out she is there, too. At first, I think she was threatened by me, but now she and I have gotten to know each other and at times she and I talk without him even included.

[somuchcooleronline]

Honestly if they been together a decade and he isn't willing to get rid of one girls number and his own long term gfs feelings aren't coming first then I would say he isn't prioritizing his gf like he should. I always start to get weary of opposite sex "friendships" when the guy starts to get really defensive about continuing to hang around or do whatever that the gf is requesting him not to do when it is clear boundaries are being crossed. That's just me though.

[Asker]

This is a several years old question! He and I eventually married but divorced. It ended up he was living a sort of "pseudo single life," there ended up being so much going on that was hidden to me. Reading over this old question I can see in my wording how young and naive I was. He was up to no good and I wanted to think I was just being silly but in the end I wasn't, aside from not leaving sooner. I think this question may be like 5 years old. It's just interesting to read a new response! And see what I wrote and others

[Reeses-pieces777]

hmm. so dont' be depressed. this is a serious issues. make friends with her if you want to to see if it really is just merely a "friend" relationship. I hate it when guys do that stuff. like I'm ok with them having friends but not "friends". girls can do that too where they cheat on their guy with a "friend". just be aware. don't be depressed. don't be too negative.

what exactly is this girl to him? friends with benefits or what? that you need to figure out somehow. yeah have a talk with your man stat. and lay it out clear you don't like this girl being too involved here. I make sure things are clear.

[AnarchyBytchcraft]

You definitely need to approach him about this, if its bothering you that much. Let him know you feel betrayed and hurt by his actions/words. I wouldn't demand he give up her number because he will most likely get angry with you. Just let him know if he values your relationship this needs to stop, or he at least needs to be open and honest with you. I know I'd be p*ssed If I were in your shoes. If he still refuses after you've tried talking it out with him, you need to decide if this is something you can live with or not. I wish you the best!

[Michael_Wang]

If he tells you too bad, you leave him right then and there. You need a real man, not a stupid little 13 year old. Confront him but don't come out as a stalker, I've had that happen to me and it's creepy.

[Anonymous]

I definitely wouldn't tell him he HAS to get rid of her number, That could end badly for you.

In my opinion, you should confront him, tell him that you know he has her number, tell him that you know about the pictures, and how when he doesn't want you to go out with him because its "guys night" that she's there, tell him that she has even left messages for him.

And tell him that this bothers you. Tell him that you don't like how he lies to you about it. And tell him that you would like it better if he didn't talk to her because he lied about it.

If he chooses to ignore you, he is probably taking advantage of you because you have put up with this for so long. And you don't deserve this. You CAN do better than someone who is going to lie to you about a girl .

If you had enough respect and feelings for him to delete all your guy friends numbers, then he should have the same respect for you. He shouldn't expect you to do things for him that he isn't willing to do for you.

[free_spirit]

It sounds like he already knows that you don't like him talking to this other girl. You could try talking to this girl yourself, start developing a relationship with her...watch how they both react, then you will have a better idea.