I feel like my friend is recently ignoring me on purpose. Should I end my friendship with her?

[Cccgala]

I'm so clueless and I don't know what to do.

She was a great friend and now that I seemed to lose her, things aren't the same as it was before. I feel like my friend is recently ignoring me on purpose. I have done nothing wrong but I do feel like our interests aren't similar anymore. We used to eat meals together, chat outside of school but now, I heard her socializing with the people she has common interests with (which I have no clue about).

She's a writer. Back then, she used to show me her works. Right now, it pissed me of when I heard from one of her new friends that a story she wrote was great (which was new and I haven't heard about it before). Now, that meant that she let her "new friends" read her story while I don't get to read it myself.

She also joins her "new friends" whenever eating instead of eating meals with me.

I have no guts to confront about it because she seems to ignore me on purpose in the speed of lightning. I don't know what her problem is but this is bothering me very much.

Should I let this girl go? Would it be best to stop myself from associating myself with her?

[ak666]

She's young and still trying to find ways to fit into society. I think she's doing it in a kind of immature way, seeing her friendship with you as mutually exclusive with her friendship with these new people. A very mature person would introduce you to these new friends and try to unite everyone instead of creating a rift.

This is bound to happen to some people growing up. They go their separate ways, begin to associate with different groups of people. Friendships are strained, sometimes split apart.

It tends to happen less as you get older and associate with older friends. They'll have already settled in, figured out who they are, and will realize that the path to their own popularity doesn't require dividing alliances and disassociating with certain people. Right now I think your friend is still figuring this all out.

I'd suggest to let her go and figure things out. Confronting her is somewhat of an aggressive action at which point you might push her further away and widen that perceived rift between you and this new group of people.

Try to focus on your own independence. Try not to let it get to you. Have a good time and be comfortable with yourself. Be who you want to be and don't hold back. Do it really well and you'll find your own group of people drawn to you, and perhaps this friend will also begin to really miss you.

[ak666]

Don't cast her aside, so to speak. Just let her go and figure things out. Don't confront her about it or else she might find excuses to prefer her new set of friends. Just let her figure things out. Keep your chin up and try to stay friendly, cheerful, yet independent -- not tying your own happiness to this friend's actions. Hopefully she'll come around at some point. In the meantime, focus on your own thing, go your own way. You can still be friendly to her when you pass by her. You don't need to shut her out.

But don't try to pull her back to you and don't try to push her away to this new group of people. Just keep your chin up and do what you do.

[Cccgala]

That was a great read! Thank you very much! It really helped because I now see it in a behavior patterned from societal occurrences. I'll do as you say; I'll go my own way :D

[ak666]

Good luck! Try your best not to let it get the better of you by all means.

The reason this is helpful is imagine anyone shuts you out for whatever reason. It could be a guy with some romantic interests there or a friend. If you try to pull that person back to you by whatever means (confronting, pleading, sweet talking, etc.) it tends to push them further away. It's because their mind is currently intent on shutting you out. When you reach out, you tend to fuel that emotion to shut you out.

Obviously if you push back (hostility, ignoring them, etc) then they're definitely going to get pushed further away and their feelings to shut you out are going to definitely grow stronger.

So best to avoid either of these. You don't want to "pull" or "push" a person trying to shut you out. Ideally you stay pleasant, smile, say hi, stay cheerful, attractive. This is typically the best way to win back a person trying to shut you out, when they begin to really miss you.

[ak666]

One last note on the popularity game if you ever want to play it yourself.

There are popular people and there are extremely popular people. The somewhat popular people aren't always so pleasant. They want to tag along with the cool crowd, they might look down at others, disassociate themselves from others. They're trying too hard to fit in. They want to be cool and popular through association. They tag along with others.

Then there are the extremely popular people, almost universally liked. Those people tend to be quite pleasant -- fun to be around, cheerful, pleasant to everyone by default. They're not trying so hard to fit in. They are generally liked across cliques, everyone wants them at their party, they're just overall pleasant people. They're popular and cool by default. They don't need to associate with popular people to become popular. Others tag along and follow them.

Try to become this second type of person. Go your own way and stay pleasant and fun and friendly.

[ebbyeb]

Nicely put! Thanks for the long answer! This is the kind of support that my good friend Gala needs right now! Thanks so much ☺️☺️❤️❤️

[Decentguy]

its better for you to let her go, letting go is hard, but you have to let go sometimes, even tho it hurst very much.
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[Decentguy]

let her know that you dont give a fuck about her

[Cccgala]

Those quotes are just what I need! Thank you very much!

[Decentguy]

No Prob
Glad to help you out !

[ebbyeb]

😊😊😊 You got this Gala! You know my answer 😌

[Cccgala]

@ebbyeb I do :) Thank you very much! :)

[ebbyeb]

@Cccgala always here for you sis! 🤗 Also heyyy @Decentguy

[Decentguy]

@ebbyeb Heyy, Thanks !

[MissMinaaaa]

I'm on the same boat:/ I had these two super close friends I've known since primary school-- but one of them has gotten more on the wild side, and even though we still got along very well, I had to eventually drop the friendship because she was in far too deep on her side, and I couldn't let that effect me. BUT for the other friend, I still have been very close to up until recently. I thought she was ignoring me on purpose... but after a while, I think it was the fact that she forgot about me as her friend since she constantly meets new people.. I figured this out since she would randomly hit me up to "hang out" that would end up leading me to doing a favor for her. Because if she were to ignore me for me to get "the hint" she'd just stop talking to me. I stopped talking to this girl too. For you though, does she at least talk to you every now and then, or she completely acts like she doesn't know you? If she still talks to you but not as much as before, it's likely she just forgot how close you guys used to be because of those new friends.

[Cccgala]

I'm so sorry that happened to you! It's horrible, right? :(
She just approaches me whenever she needs help and whenever she "feels like it". However, she spends most of her time with her newly-made friends.

I am really eager to let go, as in I would cut ties indefinitely. I know I don't deserve to be ghosted like this suddenly without an explanation.

[MissMinaaaa]

You definitely don't deserve it! Just sit down and have a talk with her, confront her about it and know how each of you feel about it before you fully drop it. I made the mistake of dropping my friendship with one of those friends without talking with her, and when news somehow got to mutual friends-- I was the "bad guy"

[natured]

I am so sorry that this is happening to you, and i wish you could be my neighbor so we could go out and have meals together because my best friend did the same, but she did it because she has a boyfriend now -_-

Anyways, since SHE IS distancing her self from you for no reason, you should do the same, if she has no interest or if she lost interest whatsoever to hang out with you then it's not a friend that you deserve, you should honestly just focus on your priorities, and let HER GO because you deserve way much better hun.
If she ignores you, do the same ;)
Wish you the best luck and i am sure you will find another friend to have an amazing time with.
SIMPLY IT'S HER LOSS NOT YOURS.
Good luck <3

[Cccgala]

Hooray to the idea of being neighbors hahahaha! It made me smile :)

I'm sorry for experiencing what your best friend did to you. It's really terrible when someone leaves us for someone else. It makes us look like we're disposable glasses or plates that don't deserve any second chances.

I will indeed let her go because I now understand that it's her loss.

Thank you very much! :D

[natured]

<3 You are welcome sweety anytime. We are not neighbors but we are gag sisters for sure
<3

[vonasaurus]

your friend's change of heart is quite common at this stage of your life. most young people are figuring out who they are, exploring new opportunities with new people, and some (like your friend) have trouble reconciling this newness with their already-established friendships. some people grow apart over time, and that's okay.

you say she's a writer- why not write to her? just ask her how things are going and invite her to lunch or on a weekend shopping trip... if she declines, you may want to re-evaluate the friendship. but don't burn your bridges: she may realize, as many teens often do, that new doesn't mean better and that her real best friend was there all along.

either way, good luck!

-von

[Cccgala]

Thank you very much! That was a great read! :D I think I'll try writing to her.

[vonasaurus]

you are most welcome~ good luck :)

[Paris13]

Let her Go Here, dear. She is now a Fair Weather Friend to the End.
What you both Cared to Share long ago is Obviously Over, and with the Way you feel, even if she was to come back Tomorrow, a lot of Sorrow, it's Hard to get Past the Past. It probably would feel Awkward Now Somehow.
It happens in Life sometimes, but you have to be Strong enough to Leave the Past behind and Move on to your own Fresh way of Life.
Good Luck. xx

[Cccgala]

That was a very poetic response! :) It helped me a lot! Thank you very much! :D

[Paris13]

You are so welcome, @Cccgala, and Thank you so much, sweetie, for making my day from me being in the sick bed for 2 days. xx

[Cccgala]

@Paris13 Oh, that's quite bad. Get well soon! I hope for your fast recovery 😊

[Paris13]

Thank you, sweetheart, I am better today, thanks to friends like yourself. xx

[coolbreeze]

Let her chase you and give her space and let her go Don't sweat it. Friend's always change all the time.

[DarklordOdin]

I'm starting to, not quite drift completely away, but cool down a lot of my friends. When the spark is gone, it's hard to reignite it. I think it would be good to have a chat with your friend about it, but if she seems uninterested, your next choice should present itself clearly.

[Cccgala]

The last part is true. I now know what to do. Thank you very much! :D

[DarklordOdin]

Certainly. I wish you well.

[WriterAndPainter]

Why not confront? What do you have to lose? She sounds like a shitty friend to be honest with you. People change and you will go through your life especially your 20s realizing how real and how fake people are. It could be that she may feel that she fits in more with them from a hobby point, but you'll never know. You could write her letter, or just talk to her in person. At this point it doesn't sound like you have anything to lose.

[Cccgala]

"She sounds like a shitty friend" I think this is true. So, I'll consider your advice. Thank you very much!

[WriterAndPainter]

You're welcome and sorry if "shitty friend" offended you, but friends don't behave that way. There may be an explanation, and perhaps she's embarrassed, but rather than confront just talk to her.

[Izumiblu]

I don't know if I'd say let her go as in no longer willing to be friends, however it might be good to give yourself some space for a while if you can't talk with her.

[Cccgala]

I see. Thank you very much!

[Ali55sven]

Show her that you dont need her or care about her bullshit storys. Harsh i know lol. Then she will just run back to you, or it could backfire and severe all ties. Either way your playing with fire girl!

[Cccgala]

Whoa that response's pretty savage but I get your point. Thank you very much! :D

[Ali55sven]

No problem 😎

[ebbyeb]

Ahaha Gala!! But yes! Nicely and savagely put 😎

[Caths14]

Stop associatinb with her cut ties as she is clearly interested in those other friends and isn't thinking about you the same way you do with her. She will come bsck running when she gets bored with new crowd or somebody falls out with her and it will be too late as you dont want a user

[helloitsmethere]

Remember: friends come and go.
It's fine, at this age we tend to gain and lose friends trying to figure ourselves out. We're a mess at this age lol.
Holding on sometimes does more damage than letting go.

[Cccgala]

I think so too. We're a mess trying to be composed at all times.
Thank you very much! :D

[helloitsmethere]

Ur welcome :)

[abundantlyrich]

She's rejected you. It's best not to think about her anymore. Treat her as if she's dead.

[Cccgala]

I will. Thank you so much! :D

[archiz]

confront her
call her and tell her you wanna see her
like that you ll corner her.
you at least to know why

[Cccgala]

Cornering her sounds like a risky idea, but what will I get if I don't try, right?
Your answer made me think about it.
Thank you very much!

[lumberman9]

You said you don't have the guts to confront her but fight your fear and approach her, and from there make your decision

[Cccgala]

I will. Thank you! :D

[lumberman9]

You're welcome and good luck I'm sure it will work out :)

[ADFSDF1996]

Maybe she never was your friend to begin with. I think you should distance yourself from her little by little.

[Danielleln]

Talk to her and tell her how you feel. But you might have to forget her as a friend maybe.

[dragonfly6516]

How can expect anyone to know what you need if you won't speak up? Go talk to her.

[Luci92]

Talk to her and be honest, but choose your words carefully as well.

[JENGA]

I think you should try to work up your courage and at least talk to her about it before you just completely sever all of your umbilical cords with her.

[RealandGenuine26]

A true friend would be a friend, and not ignore you. you might need to let her go

[astrostar456]

I'd say just end in with her if she was your friend she'd talk to you all the time. So just tell her to go away and that you don't wish to speak again.

[Blueeyes2016]

A lot of women particularly ignore

[cupidkisses]

let her go

[EdirneCigeri]

Yes you chould