How can I stop judging my slutty friend? (Page 2)
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Why shouldn't you judge her? She's acting like an idiot, making all kinds of stupid choices while she calls the guys SHE CHOOSES immature. That's like the pot calling the kettle black. Everybody judges - if she cheats on partners then she is a scumbag.
Yeah I can't stand this Millennial era belief of "don't judge others" when it is perfectly fine to do so (such as cheating hoes, slutty behavior, et cetera) .
@InTimoreDei
Neither can I. Any form of judging or shaming is seen as a bad thing, but some behaviours should be judged and shamed. I mean arguing that somebody who cheats on every partner they have shouldn't be judged or shamed? I can't understand that.
@InTimoreDei it's my friend of many years. I understand what you both are saying, she's still a nice person to me. I just feel that she's falling hard and I thought with her daughter she'd pick herself up and fix her life but she is still falling just faster now.
I have a “slutty” friend, to not judge her isn’t that hard for me because I know what other people do with their lives have little to nothing to do with me. I also know that there is a stigma attached to a woman seeing many men, and deep down I know regardless of people wanting to shame women because of their decisions, at the end of the day, they’re two consenting adults and whatever they do is none of our business.
Good take! I like you Ms Maiave :)
Dud you read the whole thing?
Maybe find compasion and empathy, you won't get that if you judge. Try to understand why she always needs a man, maybe she's lonely, maybe she has low self esteem, maybe she's a sex addict. Ask her when she's in her next relationship if its healthy and why she's doing it. Dont try, to judge, as much as help give guidence through her struggles
First of all judging is a choice. So how do you stop? You just stop. Don't allow yourself those thoughts.
If that doesn't help you need to realize that people are free to make their own choices and mistakes. You don't have to enable her but loving someone means loving them despite the things you don't agree with.
You know it’s funny. Feminists have been blaming and shaming men who use the words “slut” and “whore” but in reality it’s OTHER women who shame each other way more often than guys judge. This is proof.
You feel a sense of loyalty towards your friend and sympathy for her daughter. But it’s her job to control her life and be a mother, not yours.
You got to look her in the eye at some point when she’s dead sober and say you love her as a friend. However you can’t be a companion to somebody who continually makes bad choices. It’s not who you want in your circle of friends. If that’s too difficult just slowly move away from her. The caring part of you will feel guilty. But she’s a full grown women.
Oh I bet she is bisexual too huh?
I never called her a slut. I said she has slutty behaviors. And many men have called her that word.
I know it's not my job, I get that. But it's still a bad example for her daughter.
They say birds of a feather flock together.. you should reevaluate your friendship. What value does she bring to your relationship? Seems like you're the one always trying to help her out. Sometimes you can't save them all. I understand she's been your friend for a long time but I, like you had to distance myself from friends like that because it's not what I'm about & I didn't want to be associated with such.
I don’t think it’s okay to judge her for what she does because it’s her body. As long as she takes care of her child that’s all that matters. But if she bothers you THAT much, cut her loose. You aren’t gaining anything from being around someone who don’t like.
Well since you obviously said you love her as a friend you shouldn't be judging her and the are reason you are is because you'd just my wanna take that dive wants and funk a bunch of guys are giving blow jobs and never do it again come and get it out of your system so by you judging her it sounds like in your mind it talk you out of having a Slut's night out
The best way to help people who don't want to be helped is to be an example.
She's fucking up her life and her child's life as a consequence.
She will see it sooner or later. Let her make her choices and let her know you are there for her if she needs you.
If she dressed up and deleted those pics she would still have the same reputation as before. If she moved , deleted the pictures , dressed and behaved like a lady she will attract mature men who have standards , this picture just give the message of smash and dash... And she is pretty thats for sure , but beauty comes and goes , and when she loses her physical appearance , then she is apsolutely screwed.
My friend is pretty, but that isn't her. I just used this pic because it was similar to how she poses.
Well people should learn on their own mistakes , take her out at a fancy plave wjere is strict dress code , if someone approaches her there she'll see the diff betwen fuckboys and mature men.
She's a grown up, so you can't make decisions in her behalf, no matter how much you want to help her. You're doing what a good friend does: giving good advice. If she doesn't want to listen to you, it's her problem.
Unfortunately, when people don't listen, they have to learn the hard way. That's the most effective way.
So... you don’t agree with her viewpoints, you don’t have anything in common and she doesn’t confide in you (aka she doesn’t see you as a close friend). And then you think she’s slutty (based off similar picture) because she pokes her tongue out? Nothing about the semi nude person in the background.
This isn’t adding up to me.
Be there for her, but down try to run her life. If she asks a question, she should be willing to accept answer, regardless of its agreement with her way of thinking. Be honest, but speak the truth with love. Though all this, also remember to guard your OWN heart so that you can continue to be YOUR own person. You and your friend are in my prayers.
good advice. if her friend asks a question, she should expect an honest answer, even if its not what she wants to hear. but the answer should be given with love and not judgement.
She doesn’t live your life, you don’t live hers. Let her be and do as she pleases. Unless it affects you directly (say she makes a run at your husband or boyfriend), her choices are hers to make. She hasn’t changed because of your talks, and isn’t going to. You’re her friend, not her keeper.
My advice is don't a good freind it honest and tells the truth and being a slut is not to healthy for her or her daughter. She needs to hear it and be reminded of it even though she does not like it.
Other wise it will be so easy for her to lose herself to it.
I once had a slutty best friend, and I frown on promiscuity as well (from either genders, not just women.) In the end, we were no longer friends. (She was a shitty friend, which was a big factor).
She is clearly happy with the lifestyle she has, and has no intentions of changing it. Though you have offered your advice and been straight with her, she refuses to listen.
If you can’t stand it anymore then keep your distance. Simple.
people like that dont change, you did your job and gave her advice over and over, now its her turn to actually do something about it, I know women like her, they are in their 50s and still cheat and have 3somes, some people are simply like that and refuse to change, she will at some point understand that she lost her shot at finding a quality kind to be by her side, but then again you did your job by telling her.
She's a cheater... why wouldn't she deserve to be judged? When you hurt other people just for your own pleasure, then you cannot complain when people shame you for it.
She doesn't want to limit her sex life to just one person? Then either don't get a relationship or go for someone who wants an open relationship in that case.
I mean, why do you need to stop judging her? You're judgements seem good to me, and her daughter and herself would probably be better off if she followed your advice.
I'd be more concerned about how this bad person would affect you.