Ex boyfriend unblocked me on Facebook ... Should I add him as a friend?

[Anonymous]

Hi... I was too much in love with my boyfriend.. we dated for 8 months.. shared the same apartment.. Towards the end I could feel a change in him and I started getting insecure about the whole relationship and as a result behaved like an obsessed girlfriend. He asked for time and space and said "Lets be friends for some time". I went more crazy hearing this and just couldn't leave him alone (maybe because of the fact that we lived in the same apartment). That drove him further away from me. He told me one day "Don't come and talk to me.. I assure you that I will come.." I behaved like a love-sick maniac from Sept to Dec then I left him all alone though still stayed in the same apartment. In Jan he came and told me "Lets start fresh ... lets be friends first etc etc" I got over eager and thought he is back as in the relationship.. Then again after 2 weeks.. he got annoyed and told "What part don't you understand" Then I decided to leave that apartment.. Feb I deleted him from Facebook and he blocked me.. It took me some time to find a new place... and I left in May without speaking to him at all. I found out from one of our mutual friends that he too left that apartment after another 2 months. Now after 1 year of blocking me on Facebook he unblocked me but has not send any messages or any friend requests. I don't want him to think that I want him back but don't know whether to add him as a friend or not.. Please help

[Anonymous]

Do you want to know how to win him back and not to worry about this silly FB thing? IGNORE HIM. Seriously. Don't be rude or mean if he contacts you, but pretty much pretend he doesn't exist, all the while slyly make sure your profile is NOT private so he can look if he gets the notion and post fun things you are doing with your life, even if you have to exaggerate a bit - but don't put anything about guys.

Dont add him as a friend. At all. Because if you do he will think you were waiting for him to unblock you so you could and he will see that as yet another 'stalker' move, which I find funny because guys stalk girls online A LOT more than girls stalk guys.

[Asker]

I also decided the same thing.. Ignore as if I don't know that he unblocked me. I also think that if I add him as a friend it would be considered as a stalker move. And that I have been waiting for him to unblock me etc etc. But I don't want to make my profile public as he will wonder why as I never make my profile public. He will understand that I did it so that he can look into my profile and see what I am upto. It was his decision to block me he has to add me back Unblocking should mean nothing

[Opinion Owner]

Absolutely right~! Act like it doesn't even bother you. That will make what he's trying to do, completely worthless.

Who cares what he thinks about what you do with your profile? Its yours right? lol If he automatically thinks its for his benefit then he's got issues that go way beyond the norm, and he doesn't even deserve you to begin with. And if someday he brings it up just pretend you have no idea what he's talking about. :) lolol

[Leeni]

I know the feeling. Whe you are losing something, you tend to try harder to hold onto it, which can really only make things worse. If he unblocked you, obviously you are on his radar somewhere, maybe he is hoping you make the first move. And I think you should, I mean after all its only a friend request its not really a big thing. When you send the requat just write a litlle message so he understands that you would like to be friends. If you want to do it, don't let yourself back out, he wouldn't have unblocked you if he wanted you to not add him.

[Asker]

He might have done that because he is over me and considers it immature to block someone for good.. but doesn't really care for me as a friend and is not really expecting a friend request. I tried so much for a second chance and created a mess.. I just don't feel like adding him. If he rejects then I will look and feel like a fool. But still how do I show him that I am OK with friendship but not sending the actual request. I must sound stupid.Call it ego or self respect. I don't want to hear no.

[Leeni]

I think you're thinking the worst scenario. Yes that could be why, but if I were over someone I wouldn't even think about them enough to remember I had them blocked, so I think maybe he unblocked you so that you might request him. I really do hinkt that's why. And I understand the rejection thing, you don't want to put yourself out there for it to be thrown back in your face. But really, if facebook is the only contact you have with him its really the only way to show how you feel. Its your choice.

[Asker]

I tried a lot before I finally deleted him from Facebook. To the extent that my friends called me "obsessed".. even I thought I was.. He also told "u have serious issues.. get rid of them I will come back " and I went on believing him.. and waited for him.. I think if I sent him a friend request he might feel that I am still obsessed or something.. If he wants to open communication lines he can add me himself. How long do you think I should wait to see his reaction (when I show no reaction)