If we treat self-esteem like a health bar, let’s say someone needs 10 self-esteem points to be happy. I think the average person has no issue hitting 10 self-esteem points. However, for some people, 10 points seems like a distant goal. They may max out at 5, let’s say. Often times, this point cap is from insecurity. Maybe someone they misplaced trust in told them that they were ugly, horrible, whatever.
Anyway, because of this deficiency, they seek help from outside sources. The one that comes to mind first is help from other people. Yes, while being told “you’re pretty” or “you’re attractive” may temporarily give someone the required self-esteem points to be happy, this consequently opens themselves up to all criticism from outside sources. If someone says, “you’re not my type” or something more extreme, this takes away self-esteem points. (Unfortunately, it’s human nature to place criticism at higher value than positive comments too.)
The end result is a constant fluctuation of feeling good and bad from other’s comments. If it was just bad feeling, people wouldn’t seek it. If it was just good feelings, people wouldn’t need it as much. From a fluctuation though, people try to seek it constantly in hopes of things working out. It’s that super small glimmer of feeling better that people seek out constantly— it’s the want of happiness.
One could also argue that self-esteem points gained from others only act as a buffer, meaning they decrease slowly over time regardless. This is because they aren’t rooted in anything. Unlike one’s self, one can’t be sure any other person is 100% sure telling the truth or just saying something. Furthermore, because humans nature criticism at higher value, that small percentage of doubt becomes exaggerated. This doubt is compounded by negative criticism, and pretty soon the good feeling of a compliment is lost.
That’s my take on it at least.
If we’re looking for sources behind low self-esteem, we’d be here all day. Sometimes, it’s bad parenting as some say, but not always. Sometimes it’s an overly critical inner voice caused by hanging around negative people. Sometimes it’s being naïve from being told we’re perfect growing up, only to be dealt a heart-crushing blow later in life. It’s a person-by-person issue that can’t be generalized so easily.
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Hmmm... lots of people blaming bad parenting. I can't disagree, bad parenting can cause a lot of screw ups. But I'm also going to blame it on... negative rap music, bad television, and low reading grades. How's that for controversy, huh?
It simply depends on what are the intentions needing validation. If words of affirmation is a love language than that is a need that must be reciprocated in order for that person to be happy. If not, it may have to do through culture, religion, or neglectful parenting. You also have people that emotionally and mentally abuse you as well that are not family. Such as teachers who neglect their students for paycheck. Or cold partner who is very selfish and doesn't care about your emotional needs at all. You give and give and they just taken take. Or a friend that makes you feel like you're beneath them and not as equals.
Because some of our lives are just not that grew apparently. My life is simply just not good cause of circumstances and due to that I do feel not great.
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Some people have a problem to evaluate their own egos or have some kind of psychological inferiority complex, so they need constant positive validation of others.
Such people are easy to manipulate and will be always abused by people with hidden malicious intensions.
Somehow this sounds like analysis of social media. XDThere mothers and fathers made them feel unworthy
So they have internalized it and carry it around with them
They aren't even aware of it. A good friend would point that out and tell them that its ok, you dont need validation, you just need to be honest with yourself. Thats the greatest ValidationIt usually comes from issues with their upbringing.. if you talk to attention seeking people about their childhood like I do I find the same types of problems that create the irritating need for attention and validation.
Interesting question. I think when a person is broken and bleeding from within they seek a cure even if its temporal by positive affirmations from others to feel better and alivate their pain they feel inside.
Low self esteem. Many years in their childhood they been told opposite ex. Ur not worth it. You're just not gonna pass school ur too dumb. Ur just too fat. Over the years u start believing it. Even if it isn't true. Not to mention peer pressure.
They don't have enough self-respect and possibly low self- confidence.
People who need constant validation are extremely insecure.
If depends who needs the help, and why, I have a lot of time for some people.
That's what we call narcissism and fake confidence.
we all need validation but I guess they lack self confidence to require it constantly
bad/abusive parenting, usually
Because they are insecure
Bacause they have low self-esteem and are fragile.
Low self esteem.. and narcissistic personality.
Either because of insecurity or narcissism.
Either they are NPDs or they are very insecure.
low self esteem and being insecure.
Often times it's parenting
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