I think my mother was more affectionate towards me when she was actually in my life, she was also very supportive of whatever I wanted to pursue, a rare trait considering she is Korean AND a workaholic. She did mother me a lot even the last time I saw her (2-3 years ago). As much as she does show affection when I get to spend time with her, I don't think she feels responsible for me as her child for the most part. We don't live together anymore so I very rarely talk to her. My father is more subtle with the way he cares, he will ask me if I'm hungry all the time and make me food and will put up with a lot of my shit, but he is also abusive towards me in most people's standards, has major anger issues, and puts me through a lot as well. He's a damaged person, but in the end I have 0 doubt that he loves me very deeply as well as my 3 half siblings. Overall I'd say my dad cares about me more, and at least wanted to be a good dad for me even if he fell short most times, while my mother is a good mother in the way she treats me, but probably doesn't care about me as much as other parents care.
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I don't think I can make that distinction.
None lol. At least while growing up and up until my mid twenties I'd say but I guess now my mum does.
Mother, she's more motivating and caring.
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They were too different to compare like that. My mother was more "motherly" with more traditional love. I related to my father more, and we had much more in common. They are both dead, and I was hurt more by my father's death than my mother. But when my mother died I had been living out so state for years and only saw her once a year at most. So when she died, I was used to not seeing her. My father and I lived together in his final years and we got pretty close.
My mum
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