Should I have let my brother win?

[Anonymous]

I'm in my early 20's and my younger brother turned 18 last month. He's starting to learn do things on his own.

He wanted to arm wrestle me twice. Before we started my mother kept whispering to let him win. I said no and proceeded. I beat him easily both times. He felt disappointed and kept saying ''I can never beat you, I'll never be strong'' and went to his room.

Should I have given him one won at least? Part of me wanted to but then he'll never learn and maybe the next opponent he gets will be tougher than me. I think in life, part of becoming great at something and winning is by losing first.

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

I've noticed he's lacking in exercises and being more active. I've been exercising 5-6 times a week since last year.

Updates

+1 y

Needless to say yeah he doesn't feel that good. He wants to become stronger. He wants to beat me at arm wrestling.

[Anonymous]

No, I think he should realize his real strength. It’s just a reality that you can’t be stronger than everyone. Even me as a tall fit guy I accept that there are still girls who will be stronger than me.


Personally I was really skinny growing up and didn’t put on weight or muscle well but after 18 I started filling out and got a lot stronger. Never had the issue of being less strong than my sister because genetically she was always a lot smaller than me and we had the same build.


What are your size differences? That makes a difference, maybe he is pretty strong but you just happen to genetically be heavier, taller and bigger than him. What are your heights, weights and builds? Because if he lost due to size it’s simply something he can’t control maybe he is just on the smaller side for a guy (which is perfectly fine by the way) or maybe you are just really strong and tall for a girl (which is also fine)


I would talk to him and let him know that he shouldn’t feel bad for losing, maybe he is just bad at arm wrestling, maybe his angle is wrong, I’m pretty strong but I suck at arm wrestling because my elbow always slips, but anyways there are a lot of factors so tell him not to feel bad about it. Tell him he should just work on himself and not compare himself to others because it’s impossible for us to be better than everyone at everything.

[Asker]

I'm 5'7 and 135 Ibs
He's 5'11 and about 145 Ibs
He still looks thin for his age, lacks strength and never (besides PE classes in the past) did exercises nor work-outs. He sleeps during most of the days. Also, he doesn't really know how to throw a punch either.
If I were a bully instead of his caring sister, I would beat him.

[Asker]

Yes I do believe if he works outs, becomes more active and practices throwing punches... he'll fill out more, get stronger and eventually beat me at it.
I'm only beating him because I'm physically active. If he does that too then it's game over for me.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s ok if he doesn’t know how to throw a punch even though I’m pretty strong and athletic, I row (crew) and do some other sports but I’ve never been to into fighting or combat sports so I can’t throw a punch either tbh. Yeah I think he just needs to try to be a little more active. Maybe you just got lucky with the arm wrestle thing? I do know some weaker guy beat a stronger guy at arm wrestling before. Maybe let him for real wrestle you instead and see if the outcome is different and if he can pin you? Either way him working on his cardio even will help him a lot. Why don’t you offer to go to the gym with him one day and show him how to do the weights and stuff? Most people are scared and need someone to show them. I didn’t start working out until my dad showed me how to use the free weights.

[Anonymous]

He's an adult you don't need to coddle him.

[Asker]

Yes. My mother spoiled him so much that it's only been two months that he started serving his own breakfast. His mother kept doing it all the times till I set up his alarm and made him do it himself. He's not strong because he would lay in bed practically all day long, doing absolutely nothing except log in to classes, eat, play video games, take a shower and sleep.

[Maxmich]

No :) if you can beat him, do it! Hehe

[Anonymous]

LOL, you sounds like you have never been kissed