I don’t trust anyone since the last girl lied and deceived me?

[Anonymous]

We weren’t dating and I wouldn’t call her and I friends. She just lied about a lot of things and played mind games with me. I caught onto her lies a few weeks. I eventually got tired of her toxic behavior and now I don’t trust anyone anymore when it comes to friendship and dating. I’m not interested in dating anymore not based on this , but based on how dating is. I have become guarded and cautious of who I talk too and allow around me because of this if anything.

Updates

+1 y

I haven’t dated in over 5 years because off how selfish dating has become. I’m still hurting about the fact she lied and played mind games when I wasn’t expecting anything from her , but friendship. Honestly what I thought we were building , but I think she wanted friends with benefits and luckily we never had sex or met for that. I wouldn’t have sex with anyone I’m not dating and committed too.

Updates

+1 y

This wasn’t anyone I dated less more met. I normally meet people online for friendship or networking, but due to this situation I don’t care too meet anyone else online for friendships because I don’t date anymore because how dating is. If someone miraculously met me for a relationship it’ll be the only way and it would have to be face to face. This person hurt me very badly to the point she was deceptive, manipulative, and a liar who preyed on me. I don’t trust anyone and have become guarded

[Anonymous]

The way I overcame this feeling started with me wanting to regain my power. Believe it or not, by holding on to that pain your ex-person caused, you’re allowing her to still play a huge role in your life, while she’s off living hers unaffected. She’s literally absent and dictates both your happiness and ability to be open with people. To me, that’s far too much power anyone should have, let alone someone who isn’t phased by the trauma they caused. The best way to remedy your feelings is basically to face them head on. Make peace with that trauma and ultimately work towards healing. You can do this with therapy, journaling, and the internet is very resourceful as well. But you can’t allow yourself to be stuck where you are, it isn’t fair to you and you deserve to welcome love into your life (from new friends or otherwise) fearlessly.

[Asker]

She wasn’t an ex she was someone I had a vibe with. We never met and we never dated. I don’t trust anyone beyond her unfortunately. Not online anymore due to this situation and made he stance the next person I meet would have to be face to face. I already addressed on her the lies she said and the deception. She’s out my life thank goodness, but this is why I don’t open up to anyone or let anyone get close due to this. She was also very manipulative emotional and really hurt me deeply. I’m glad she’s moved in away from me so that I can try and heal , but I meant what I said about a relationship. I’m not interested in dating anymore because of how dating is nowadays. I’m better off single and happy by myself.

[Asker]

I don’t have to worry hairy this type of drama or issues from people who are out here hurting people selfishly. She was a very selfish person who only thought about herself. I don’t have clarity to the lies , but knew she lied. I don’t care to have clarity to the lies aslong as she is away from me.

[Asker]

Also she never took accountability for the lies she said and I may never get closure to this , but I meant what I said in regards to a relationship

[Opinion Owner]

Well with the term ex, I use it loosely, just as a means to describe a past person in your life. I’m glad that you cut ties with her, sounds like that was the healthiest choice. I just don’t think you should allow her to play such a big role in your life anymore. Meeting people online is always a gamble and I fully understand your decision not to begin relationships (friendly or otherwise) with people from there, it can be toxic, especially gaming communities. But otherwise, you should open up to people and give them a chance not to disappoint you. I think an issue for you as well is that you never got closure from that woman about her lies and all the pain she’s put you through. But sometimes you have to find closure for yourself, since you won’t get it from her.

[Asker]

I did she’s forgiven I don’t want anything else to do with her unfortunately. No I’m not interested in meeting anyone else online. I’m a part of the LGTBQ community and was going through a transition process when I met her as a friend. Never happening again. I connect with those through private Facebook groups. I limit who I talk to and interact with

[Opinion Owner]

I think you’re depriving yourself of fulfilling relationships by being that way. Trust me I understand having your trust betrayed, but why should one bad experience effect every single one you have going forward? If you truly don’t want another new friend for the rest of your life then that’s your choice, I just feel like it’s a sad warp live. Especially know that she’s living life normally, and hurting you has no affect on her.

[Asker]

I don’t want any friends anymore or relationships sorry

[Asker]

This really hurt me bad

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe you should consider therapy or something to sort through things

[Opinion Owner]

Also, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but you seem pretty set on not having friendships or anything again, so what was your question with this post?

[Asker]

Really to figure out a way to heal and move forward from this

[Opinion Owner]

Ohh okay, I was just confused for a moment lol. Well I still would suggest therapy, because they can suggest some good coping methods. What worked for me was journaling, both written and spoken. The spoken journaling helps a lot because it’s like I got to vent but without fearing judgement and it helped to sort my thoughts. Also changing your thought process and not telling yourself that everyone will hurt you. She was just one bad experience but you can have better ones. If this happened recently then I totally understand not wanting any relationships right now. But I hope you give yourself that in the future.

[Asker]

I’ve been through this before with people who lie and manipulate people or use people. This is why I’m single and not interested in dating exclusively form online. It’s not a thing where I need therapy I recognize these toxic people.. like I told you I’m better off single because this is how dating is selfish people. I’m happier single

[Asker]

People who use people.. abuse them.. manipulate people.. etc.. how dating is nowadays. I been stoped dating 6 years ago because of how times have changed.. I recognized what she was doing.. my focus is me

[Asker]

You couldn’t pay me to be in a relationship online. I may consider dating the person if we meet in person face to face ,’but online dating no 😟

[Opinion Owner]

I felt the same way about therapy but honestly you’d be surprised, you can be good at recognizing toxic people, but it’s deeper than that because you are experiencing trauma and the right person will give you the right tools to deal with it. Not only that but they can give you insight on your situation that you would’ve never thought to even address. So it’s fine if you ultimately don’t want therapy, I’m only saying that you could benefit from it more than you realize. Also I totally understand the online thing, I had a couple bad experiences with that and I’d never do it again.

[Asker]

I’m in therapy and it’s not for people like her. I recognized her and what she was doing. I’m not here to fix anyone’s problems. I’m not interested in dating anymore because of how dating is and how people are nowadays. I don’t have time for the drama. In the past I would’ve have put up with this behavior. It’s been a few weeks now since ending this with her. I have my own issues to address in therapy and it’s not people like her. Nothing will change my mind about dating nowadays. I’m not interested or looking like I wasn’t looking for anything with her. She needs to see a therapist for her issues. I cut through the bs and moved on

[Asker]

Furthermore , me not dating has nothing to do with her it’s the bs people do and expect people like me to put up with. Like I said if I can’t meet them in person it ain’t happening online no more. I don’t care about t a relationship because I need time to heal from this bs here

[Asker]

Once I’m healed still gonna be single as I still am.. gave up on dating 6 years ago. Too many bad dating experiences. I’m waiting on her to come clean and take accountability for this bs and second chances no I don’t give those. I was a fool to believe anything that came out her mouth instead of her showing me in action. Only regret putting up with her and why I need to be careful dealing with anyone nowadays