Once a partner's parents insults you, they permanently killed a friendship right?

[Anonymous]

In the worst case scenario that your partner's parent (s) totally disrespected you and even directly insulted you... then they killed any possible friendship they could've had with you in the future right?

Can there ever be a true reconciliation after that (to the point you guys can really get along) or is it permanently killed? And you forever keeping them at arm's length?

Yes, they killed it permanently... I'll never consider them a real friend

No, it can be restored and a friendship can still be formed

Updates

+1 y

They disrespected you, talk bad about you to others and lastly insulted you. I think there is no way such relationship can be restablished or can it?

[btbc92]

This is why you be friends first before you date. Why as friends you meet their parents and see what they are like. Most people do not want you to meet their parents because of this, because either they just want to fool around and or they want to avoid problems. If they cannot overcome these problems, it causes the relationship to fail. This is why I tell people, if you know you are not from a dysfunctional family, you need to discuss ALL parts of your life. Many people get too sexual too soon instead of waiting for the marriage of it. It is all fun until reality knocks on your door. You have to find out the source of their anger and whether or not it is just you or they sabotage everyone, OR it's neither the outsider but them? It is really misery or protection? This is why compatibility is important to understand where you stand and if forming families is a good idea. Otherwise, friendship is about as close to a relationship you can have. Also consider if there is a problem between them and who your dating (their son/daughter).

I had a similar situation happen to me in elementary school. I didn't know one of my male friend's crushes on me was that serious, we are and were but children, so remember this. But it is important, his family are millionaires, I of course was lower middle class. This is also important. His parents were good parents, but his mom made a comment about my "race" and didn't know that. That was enough as it is. So there was no compatibility on that end and I however was scared, depressed, and not ready for a relationship. It took me towards the end of elementary to hear from my friend he had felt that way. But what happened then, caused a lot of insecurities in me already.

So unless you give more details we don't know why the parents disrespected you, gossips, and insults you. Maybe it's your spirit. It is always a spiritual matter, certain people would not like you no matter what. She could be jealous or feel threatened, that can be another possibility. Or he said something that he shouldn't or got her feeling defensive and protective. If you didn't do anything to warrant, meaning you didn't have toxic traits yourself, then again, you have to look at that that was mentioned.

Other than that, depending on the severity, it is best to move on from the relationship because they will interfere with it can cause so many problems that have nothing to do with serious transgressions like cheating, immoral activity, etc. NEVER marry or have children into a family where you are not liked or welcomed in that manner. You will just suffer and it is worth it.

[Asker]

This was just a general question. I just feel sad for those people that had to deal with meddling, toxic future IN-LAWS.

[btbc92]

See, this is what you do not understand which is why you do not date if you have no desire for family. It has nothing to do with the in-law's meddlings you are not MARRIED. They have to screen you out and make sure you are somebody who needs to be in the family. You're not married to say who can and cannot meddle. If the family is toxic why would you marry them? You would have to be just as toxic to desire to do so. There isn't much to feel sorry for because a lot of people tend to know this from the beginning. What I am telling you is general knowledge and wisdom. You do not marry and date somebody whose family dislikes you. But they may like another woman. Again, what is the purpose of them being disrspectful, etc. The more I watch many people, especially 90 Day fiancee, all of them are not straight in the head and very few do not have toxic families. But they are toxic and therefore tend to make each other miserable as misery loves company. Best to go in peace and not pieces. Just because they respond in a nasty manner, it doesn't mean you have to deal with it. it is best to remove yourself from that situation and end it there.

[btbc92]

Trust me, just because a person may dislike you, that doesn't always mean their bad parents. They just do not consider you as somebody who should be in their family, as they may see incompatibility. It is usually stubbern people who is possessive that desire to take away people from their families. Such as player men and possessive girlfriends. There is fault everywhere. Somethings it is the partner causing strife between people. I have seen respectful parents get chewed up and disrespectful to other's parents and their own. Especially teens who think they can fornicate and fool around in somebody's home. Hell no, that would not happen in my house, and if I caught my kids doing that they would be out the door. This is why you wait for marriage or if you're not going to be prepared to deal with the parents and they will blame you because they assume you influenced their children. Parents protect because they love, if you have no business in being involved with them and you come with evil intent, you will be found out. Don't play with others' lives. This is why I do not disrespect or dishonor other people and their families. It is dishonorable no matter what you feel. Always honor others. If they give you a hard time, sometimes it is because again they want to test you. You are always tested. And then when married, that is another test itself. If you don't pass, you may not last. But if it is a test you don't want to take, you know how it is in K-12 or college, you can always not take it and get a 0. Everybody has a choice. I don't why people love that with such drama and toxicity. Trust me, if the parents are toxic, so is the person you dating. You just didn't see it YET until you get comfortable.

[btbc92]

Never engage with the parents, STUDY them. Because your partner learned most of their childhood and beliefs from who? The PARENTS and who they lived with. As you study the friends, and who they hang around with. People lie to get the partners they get. So it isn't always the parent's fault.