Depression in pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

I'm 39 weeks pregnant and it's only just dawned on me that I've possibly being depressed a while and I haven't realised (2nd baby). Kept thinking if I was depressed I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning but then thought well I have a toddler I can't just stay in bed but once he goes to bed at 7pm I do aswell as I don't want to do anything. I distanced myself from all my friends as I just couldn't be bothered anymore. Some days at the moment I just don't enjoy being a mam as my son is totally different with me than his dad or say grandparents and also being pregnant and finding it hard to run around after him I just feel mentally drained and like my life has zero purpose. I feel like apart from being a mum I have nothing to get up for and nothing else that makes me genuinely happy at the moment which sounds ridiculous for this far pregnant. I'm worried that when I have baby I will spiral if I'm already feeling low. What do people recommend? Tell midwife and see how I get on once baby here?

[ludorock]

Hey Anony, this is really serious so I want to make sure that we talk a bit about what you're going through. If all this started with your first child then it very well could be a post-partum depression that was never treated and stuck around. That's what it sounds like - and Anony, let me tell you - it is so, so, so common. You are not alone here. When I was working as a nurse in a pediatric clinic we asked all moms about depression until the 6 month appointment and so many of them had varying degrees of depression. It's a hormonal thing, but it can become chronic if left uncared for and untreated.

Please, definitely tell you midwife, also if you have the resources talk to a therapist, ask the midwife who, if anyone, she might recommend. But lean on her, as well, that's part of her job and I'm so glad you have her.

For now, and I never get tired of telling people this - you are valuable. You are wonderful. You are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and worth living for. Your life is worth living for, even if your kids weren't around. You are loved more deeply than you will know, and you matter. You matter so much. Please, talk to your midwife, get the help you need, and know that I, and hopefully others in this community, are all here for you.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your answer.

I did have PND after my first but it wasn't until he was 1 year old I realised I had it as it wasn't something that was ever discussed properly/what to look out for so I suffered for quite a while then aswell

[ludorock]

That's a really tough thing to go through. I have depression and I know how hard it can be some days. But coming here and asking for help is a huge and amazing first step. I'm so glad you're taking care of yourself and your family.

[Pyrofox]

Sounds like a major case of some toxic self esteem my suggestion would be talk to the Midwife maybe even reach out to your own mom or your mom in law about it. And take steps to maybe talk to family and spend time with family. And MORE importantly you need to get out of this slump cause I"m not a parent but I'm an uncle to three nieces and I am like considered their favorite uncle and at least in my case I can definitely tell and notice my nieces are highly receptive to my emotions how I feel, carry myself DEFINITELY ends up affecting them even if I try to smile it off. Chances are your family know your not at your 100% but are waiting for you to want to address your depression and or slump. As ultimately its your hill in life to overcome. Others can't walk the valley or mountain for you.

And I hope things get better.