Is he going to ask me to be his girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

I met this great and smart guy, he asked me out on a date to a bar/ restaurant; the date was great, few days later we went on a second date which was also great, we kissed and he asked me to come to his place and I said no. third date we went to the movies.. he was lovely and sweet and attentive. Then for the fourth date he cooked for me, that night we started making out at his place and he wanted to have sex; I told him that I don’t get intimate with guys unless I’m in an exclusive or serious relationship; he seemed to be a bit disappointed and he said “how could you be in a relationship with someone without having sex with them first, since you don’t know if you are going to have a sexual chemistry”…? Then he said we would both compromise on this matter. Next time I saw him it was on my birthday, he brought me flowers, we made out and things got a little hot but no sex. Next date we went out to a restaurant, then he took me to his place, where I spent the night; same story, we were turned on but no sex. We usually text every day, but not constantly. For some reason I feel very insecure in regards to whether he is taking me serious or not. I don’t want to casual date forever or just be friends with benefits, I want a serious relationship. I asked him to let me know if he wants to move things forward or not that way we don’t waste our time; he said that my statement seem kind of harsh, and asked why do I feel so uncertain?

I don’t know what is the best way to ask the question, or approach him on this matter but he seems to be interested in being with me, but I am not sure if he is ever going to ask me to be his girlfriend. I don’t know if I should stay like this or just move on. Any suggestions?

[heatherlu]

I think you see things in black and white.

A relationship for you starts with "will you be my girlfriend?"

A relationship for him doesn't really start that way - the way he sees things, is you progress towards that, you get to know each other before you're in a committed relationship. You were being harsh with him - he's respecting your boundaries in a way a lot of men wouldn't. You've been on what? 6 dates - for some people that's not enough to create a committed relationship.

He's taking things slowly, and respecting your boundaries, maybe you should respect that he's not going to jump right out and ask a girl he doesn't know all that well to be his girlfriend.

To me, it sounds like you're definitely heading in the direction of becoming a couple - he wouldn't have bothered sticking round after the "I don't sleep with guy I'm not with" speech if he didn't see that as a possibility for the two of you some day.

He seems like a nice, good guy, who just doesn't want to rush into a relationship he's unsure of.

If you're desperate for things to be labeled faster, ask him if he sees you as a couple, or as just dating - and if it's the latter, if he could see you ever being a couple.

[moneyman1029]

How about instead of waiting for him to ask, why don't you ask yourself?

You would get a sure answer, and express your feeling of wanting a serious relationship even more.

Oh, and try and make sure that sex isn't the only motivation for him to be your boyfriend.

[doctorwhofan23]

It seems like you already are I consider going on a few dates as making it official but if it bothers you bring it up.

[Anonymous]

What ended up happening? Sounds like my case...